Thank you my dear husband for taking the opportunity to successfully ruin our lives. By our I mean mine and our children’s. Sure as hell we didn’t deserve this. I have tried everything from constant nagging to emotional pleas, from serious requests to threats of leaving. But despite everything I did, it didn’t matter to you. Cause, we don’t matter to you. And thanks for proving that.

I knew it already that, to you I’m just an attachment; not love. So making my future a vulnerable one shouldn’t really bother you, no surprise there. But what really took me by surprise is that you didn’t even care about your children’s future! How could you be so selfish, that you chose the momentary pleasures over the future of your children?

It makes me downright angry and frustrated that I have no way to avenge this. Cause I can only think of avenging this by doing self harm perhaps. But then, I’m the bloody responsible one. I worry about my children’s future (which must be an unknown area for you) and that keeps me from doing it. And also, how can me doing self harm affect you, when you have clearly shown that you didn’t care. So bear with me while I shed a drop of tear or two out of my misery.

Congratulations again, for successfully shattering our (really, my) dreams of having our own home, sending the children to the university, traveling the world together when the kids are older or just plain bland growing old together. Since none of these matter to you, soon we will have to accept the result of your reckless smoking, which will most likely be a lung cancer or worse. I thought we are team, now I feel like a fool. Thanks for messing up our lives - you are effing awesome.