when i was younger i had a really bad fear of markiplier when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse markiplier and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alone

Your brother is the best

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Markiplier

the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Markiplier

Why not? Markipliers a scary dude sometimes. He screamed boo once.