My Porn Clock
I don’t even think about it anymore. In the last year, it’s become second nature; habitual. I grab it as I run out the door to bus call, and it’s the first thing I put in the corner of my bunk at the beginning of every run.
It’s my porn clock.
About seven months ago, I bought a simple, elegant, battery-operated alarm clock to wake me whenever our band took the bus out for shows. Now, why would I go and do such a thing, when I have a perfectly functional alarm feature on my smart phone, you might ask? Well, the answer is simple. I don’t want to look at porn.
Or I guess I could say, in my flesh, I do want to look at porn sometimes, but since my spirit mostly doesn’t want to look at porn, I had to take some actions steps to guard myself in my moments of weakness. So, when I was clear-headed, and thinking straight, I bought an alarm clock. That way, I wouldn’t even have the opportunity to have my phone beside me, late at night, with the curtain drawn, and the internet at my fingertips, to get into God knows what.
“Lead me not into temptation,” is what Christ taught us to pray. Or, as some commentators have pointed out, “keep me out of temptation’s paths.” And so, if I mean that seriously, I must take a hard look at my life and see any places that could serve as potential pitfalls for me. Then, I do my best to steer clear.
Now, being on the road for fifteen years, I’ve seen too many broken marriages and moments of weakness give way to adultery to think I’m beyond the allures of infidelity. And I thought, “Buying a clock, and leaving my phone in a drawer, would help remove chances of waywardness for me, so I should probably go ahead and do that.” Of course, I’m still human, and there’s no way to completely remove the opportunity to lust in a fallen world, but you better believe I’m gonna do all I can to put every speed bump in the way of my wretchedness to make it as difficult as possible for me to fall.
I once heard Francis Chan say, “I pray that God would kill me before I ever cheat on my wife.” Yeah. I can get down with that kind of crazy. Jesus said to gouge out your eye if it caused you to sin, so I suppose that’s right in line. The only violence we’re ever called to inflict upon the world is the violence against our own sin. When we do that, ironically, we become a place of peace on the earth. So my friends, I bought a porn clock. What do you need in your life, to make it harder for yourself to fail? How are you doing violence on your sin, so your sin doesn’t wreak havoc on others?
The Blog of Mike Donehey