After I was shocked to realize today that the shot of Castiel by the lake in 12x23 was suspiciously similar to a shot from everyone’s favourite cowboy gay melodrama, I decided to go through the seasons to see if I can find more similarities.

I found the entire movie, minus the sex scenes, the making out scenes, the skinny dipping scenes, and the ogling-each-other-naked scenes. I found however keeping-your-dead-lover’s-clothes scenes, sexually-charged-fist-fighting scenes, looking each-other-in-the-eyes-way-too-long-while-licking-your-lips scenes, we-can’t-hug-my-family-is-looking scenes, I-will-have-sex-with-this-lady-cause-I-can-make-myself-straight scenes, and bull-riding-followed-by-casual-sex scenes. The actresses were even cast to fit the original. 

They pretty much chopped the whole movie and weaved it into Destiel over all of the seasons 4-12, but subtly enough that we wouldn’t notice.

I need a drink now. Here’s to hope that they will fill in the rest in the glorious season 13. 

PS. Should we send this one to Jensen? Because he just recreated a whole gay movie, and apparently still pleads ignorance. They either played him, or we should not listen to Jensen from now on, EVER.

PLEASE, ENJOY.

The rest under the cut because there are SO DAMN MANY!

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Sam: “I don’t know what to say”

Dean: “I do…” (walks towards Cas slowly)

<GIANT ASS PAUSE WHILE ALL DESTIEL SHIPPERS AND THE GA WHO ARE LATCHING ON LEAN INTO THEIR MONITOR LIKE ????>

Dean (finally): “…welcome home pal”

Everyone:

Originally posted by jenesuispasunefilleparfaite

Me: Slow Clap @ Davy Fucking Perez.

What were we saying about the empty spaces this season re: Dean/Cas? Pfff.

Oooh boi! I expected that the episode would be more angsty and heart-wrenching than it actually was… I mean, there was Jack angst, which we all knew was going to happen, but I expected that the ‘happy’ vibe of the promotional material would be a semi-deception, instead Davy Perez provided with some quality Married Destiel material and even practiced the noble ancient art of Retroactive Destielling (specifically fixing the Metatron Download Incident). Now we know Cas has experienced watching movies he doesn’t give a fuck about while enduring Dean fanboying next to him. (Poor thing.) We were also afraid we were going to get severe Dean angst masked by overperforming but Dean was premium regular Dean (which doesn’t mean a well-adjusted person, but still himself).

The bad guy is, again, an abusive misogynistic white man. With the exception of the first two episodes which had angels and demons, and the ghost doctor who was a representation of dealing badly with depression, all the monsters of the week have been creatures able to look like something else (wraith, whose true form is what you see in the mirror, not what they make themselves look like; shapeshifter; ghoul) - and all chose the form of a white man, and showed entitlement and aggression against women. There were bad guys in s12 who fit that pattern, from the nazis to Ketch, but now we have the added element of ‘thing that takes the form of something else’ and this episode even has Dean point out a certain pattern in the things they’re hunting - “I’m getting real sick and tired of fighting things that look like other things” - which, whoa persona/mask theme, because Dean is also getting real sick of forcing himself to look like other things… specifically, not fitting the mold of John’s expectations on him. (While I think that the focus on violence against women comes more from the monsters in real life, it still fits in the show’s narrative that Dean gets paralleled to a series of women who fight against male abusers - some winning, some losing, some needing help to survive.)

Speaking of fathers, Cas accidentally does the same kind of thing to Jack that John and Chuck have done to Dean - dropping unreasonable responsibility on his shoulders - in Jack’s case, ‘making the world a better place’. Interestingly, in Jack’s case that idea comes from his mother Kelly originally, though, which creates a difference between Dean’s experience with father figures and mother figures (Mary wanting to keep him away from hunting, John dumping him into the hunting life; Amara - yeah not a mother figure strictly speaking but still the character opposite God - offering to give him oblivion, God dropping superhuman responsibilities on him); Kelly told Jack he would be amazing and do great things, and Cas kinda just got onto her wagon.

Aah so many great things. The shift between ‘Dean you are angry and directing your anger against you family’ and ‘this fucking dork is fucking grumpy if he doesn’t get his full beauty sleep and caffeine, why am I even married to him’? Masterful.

Bonus: the sergeant!! How they teamed up and he killed the ghoul!! Basically he won against the cowboy, the opposite of what normally happens in Hollywood Western movies. Again, a subversion of certain models of white masculinity…

Dean missing ‘Mary and Cas’

Dean when Cas is back and Mary is still probably dead or trapped in a warzone and there’s still no way of saving her

• Effortlessly much more human
  
• Makes commentary on love
  
• Talks about guilt
  
• Apologises and means it
  
• Looking gorgeous
  
• Smiling at the right moments
  
• Rolling his eyes at Dean’s antics but cooperating with them fully
  
• Scared of nougat and feels bad about it
  
• Watches movies with Dean
  
• Makes coffee for Dean
  
• Just basically does what he’s told telepathically
  
• Can’t heal the dead guy (maybe it’s a cut off from Heaven thing?)
  
• Did I mention he’s looking gorgeous?
  
• Speaks calmly and effectively, even emotionally
  
• Has not all horrible memories of Heaven
  
• Knows how to doctor the truth to be what someone needs to hear (he doesn’t lie he just completely doesn’t dwell in negativity)
  
• Talks about how his choices lead him here perhaps with a hint of optimism that he’s learning to cope with his past?
  
• WORE THE HAT CAUSE DEAN ASKED HIM TO?
  

And in the promo to next week is telling Heaven to go fuck themselves? Yay?

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