I don’t know when reading a book in public became a signal that we’re desperate for attention and conversation. But nine times out of 10, it’s the exact opposite. As creepy as it is to hit on someone much younger than you, interrupting someone — of any gender — while they are out reading is rude, selfish, and abhorrent behavior.

By doing this, you are operating under two false assumptions: that the person isn’t doing anything important, and that your desire to talk is more important than their desire to read.

If someone is out reading in public, it means that they specifically carved this chunk of time out of their day to dedicate to a book. It could likely be the only part of their day where they are able to sit quietly and do something that is entirely for them. Even if someone is reading on the Metro home from work, it is a decision — they could stare out the window if they wanted to. But they didn’t.

The worst part is that almost every time I’ve been approached in public while reading, the person uses my book as a conversation starter. They’ve clearly noticed that I am preoccupied, and have chosen to ignore it. They’ve made the conscious decision that their desire for conversation and entertainment is more important.

I’m sorry, but your failure to bring anything to entertain yourself is not my fault. Interrupting someone who is reading — especially a stranger — is clearly prioritizing yourself. It’s as rude as interrupting someone who’s on the phone, or engrossed in a conversation. I won’t waste my breath here wondering why I’ve only ever been interrupted by older, white men who don’t take hints (and only when I’m alone). But I will leave you with one parting piece of advice: If her eyes are down and her book is up, shut your goddamn mouth and leave her alone.