prettydelusional.net

come darling, it is time for me to soothe your troubles with only ways i know how. i know what you’re going to say and i know, words are words and action is what counts. i swear i could write you a prize winning masterpiece and you would still be like that’s great babe, but remember the three c’s are really what’s key: communication, commitment, and consistency. you are so cheerful the ground you walk on becomes dilated with tiny bubbles filled with sunlight that burst out and breathe life into the soil, causing all the flowers and fruits to grow. i know you think i just see you as a piece of ass and i want to make it very clear that i one hundred percent do. but i also see your candy coated heart and all the rubies and emeralds that float from your aura like a twinkling christmas tree. you got me on all fours begging for your attention, is this what you wanted? you got it. you got me hog tied and rotating over a spitfire, waiting to be devoured with no table manners in sight. you got me waking up in the middle of the night out of nowhere thinking of you, my body snapping out of sleep like it knows when you are around, and i worship at your altar like a grieving mother; poverty-stricken and disposable but still so full of faith. still so devoted to you and your sunday services, just waiting to wipe your face and kiss your wounds, to be blessed in your presence and feel immense gratitude over any little crumb of attention. this is a grotesque version of myself that i absolutely cannot stand to surrender, this sickening sense of loyalty and obsessive nature that doesn’t so much bloom as it does sprout like weeds between bricks in their path. what i hate most about this is that i am finally at this vulnerable place you always want me to get to. you always remind me to allow myself to become willing and open and the moment i do, you enter into this sick game of ignorance whether you intentionally mean to or not. you make up excuses that you are afraid of making me angry, which, ok. understandable. but get over it. stop waiting to think of the cool thing to say or the right way to respond or trying to crack the code of what will impress me. i’m waiting! you got me and i’m losing patience, i don’t have the slow and steady in me like you. i have reckless pickup lines and risky texts and once i am separated from any sense of shame or dignity then comes the avalanche. just go with it. just let me cover you in stupid amounts of love that seems to come out of nowhere, with indecent acts or suggestions of them accordingly. let me rob you of all your time, and everyone else of it too. i want to learn the nooks and crannies of your voice, from the pitch changes to the depths of its reverberation, and i want it to haunt me all the time. i want to be so deliberately drunk on you that you need to bring me home in a body bag and light a prayer candle in my honor. climb into this glass jar so i can keep you for myself, it’s safe in here and i even promise to clean it every now and then. i look at you and see someone i swear i know from the very bottom of my soul, and now i don’t want to look away, don’t make me. now i am suddenly there when you wake up, staring at you for god knows how long, taking as much of you in as i can at once. now i’ve got our future home and our burial plots picked out, and let’s make a suicide pact, cmon do it. just let me drag you back to bed, why you gotta always be on the go anyway? what’s the rush? i suppose one of us has to be, and we both know it ain’t gonna be me. i am just as impressed by you as i am heartbroken for you, and i will go to bat for you any day of the week. i will shield those tragic eyes from exposure to a gory sun and hold you through your doubts and worries, as well as any nervous breakdown you might need to have along the way. i can’t say for certain that you’ll never get hurt, but i do know that i’ll wrap the bandages and change the dressings as often as need be. you’re the last person i ever expected to feel some type of way about, but here i am at your locker, begging to walk you home.