Has anybody told you recently that your generation is “the Me Me Me Generation” of “lazy, entitled narcissists”?1 Perhaps you have been told that young people today are “the most self-centered, self-seeking, self-interested, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-aggrandizing generation” in history.2 Maybe you have witnessed handwringing over “the wreckage of our broken society”3 and the rise of “the latter-day cult of individualism” and “the worship of the brazen calf of the Self.”4
My kids have heard these things from older people. According to popular knowledge, society is on the verge of destruction and collapse, and youth today are growing up in a desolate land of temptation, immorality, and stress more frightful than any time in history. The younger generations today—whether Generations Y, Z, or Millenial—are destined to become sad little bubbles of ego and whine, if they are not already. They are entitled; they have no moral boundaries; they are ruled by entertainment and pleasure. Society is shredding before our very eyes. As a father, I’ve been told that it will take an actual miracle for my kids to turn out well, no matter how hard I try.
These lines of thought are so common that I have taken some notes…
It is enough to make one despair about the future of humanity.
Except, we are already living in the future. I marked these quotes with numbers (including the quotes in the opening paragraph) so you can see where they are from:
In other words: older generations have always moaned in despair about cultural changes and the youth of their day. Narcissim, laziness, disrespect, immorality? Different century, same complaint. Of course some of today’s youth are lazy and self-centered, but so are people from every generation alive today. No generation is a unified set of either entitled hedonists or hardworking saints. Much of what is called disrespect and immorality today are merely the challenges that every new generation shouts at its predecessors.
Each new generation has its own culture: an inheritance reshaped through its own cycles of creativity, exploration, and experimentation. This culture feels foriegn to older generations, unsettling and perhaps even painful. Young people then feel the same in return. As L.P. Hartley wrote in 1953, “The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there“—and that is how each generation seems to feel about the ones before it. G.K. Chesterton noted in 1922, ”I believe what really happens in history is this: the old man is always wrong; and the young people are always wrong about what is wrong with him. The practical form it takes is this: that, while the old man may stand by some stupid custom, the young man always attacks it with some theory that turns out to be equally stupid. This has happened age after age….“ (emphasis added)
Psychology researchers concluded in 2010 that ”finding young people to be narcissistic is an aging phenomenon, not a historical phenomenon.“ Each generation conveniently forgets that it went through this very same process itself, but as Harry Truman remarked, ”The only thing new in the world is the history you don’t know“—or that you fail to remember. His comments echo the Old Testament: ”What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.“ (Ecclesiastes 1:9)
So, if every generation is told by its elders that its character is poor and its future is doomed, what is a young person to do?
In the Bible, the Apostle Paul wrote to his friend Timothy: ”Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young.“ At that time, Timothy was probably in his 30s, and faced resistance from his elders about his age. Paul’s advice rings true for everyone, whether 13 or 30: ”Be an example to everyone in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith… Keep a close watch on how you live…. Stay true to what is right…“ (1 Timothy 4:12,16)
In other words: action, not age, is the true determination of your character. Ignore the complaints of the older generation. Stay true to what you know is right, and you will prove them wrong in the long run.
And, as a father, that is my advice to my kids—and to every generation today.
* For these marked sources: I edited the language of these quotes for modern readability, but I do not believe I changed their spirit.
P.S. If you have read any of the following quotes about this topic, they are not legitimate. They’re really great quotes, but there is no record of them actually being from the alleged sources, even if they’ve been published as such.
”The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.“—attributed to Plato, but not actually found in any of Plato’s writings
”The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress.“—cannot be located in Peter the Hermit’s writing
”Our Earth is degenerate in these later days; there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; every man wants to write a book and the end of the world is evidently approaching.“—supposedly found on an ancient Egyptian or Assyrian tablet, except nobody can find it
”I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and impatient of restraint.“—not actually written by Hesiod in 700 BC or any other time
Versions of this post appeared on Fatherly and on The Good Men Project.
Photo credit: Pixabay.
“Psychology researchers concluded in 2010 that ‘finding young people to be narcissistic is an aging phenomenon, not a...