It seems like a good Friday post…
If romance were a real time strategy game. ..
I’d sweep the board.
I’ll Zerg your defenses any time.
You can counter my strike if I can tickle your halo.
If you play the song of time I’ll blow your ocarina.
You have a Mass Effect on my drive core.
I’d fight an Archdemon for you.
I’d wrestle the Arishok for you.
You’re gysal greens to my chocobo.
You’re like a phoenix feather, you bring me to life.
Did you bring me a health potion, because my meter just filled.
You cast buffs on me baby, now I can do anything.
You can rim my sky any time.
I’m wearing a tshirt of +2 cha, will you help me take it off?
I promise not to use the blue shell on you.
You light up my night like a star of invincibility.
There’s nothing artificial about your intelligence, but you turn me on.
I’ll do whatever it takes to max out your approval rating.
I’d pick your locks for treasure any day.
I’d turn back time over and over to get a romance option with you.
You complete my triforce.
What do you and video games have in common?
I’d like to play you both until I score.
What do you and arcade games have in common?
I want my initials on every high score.
Let me Shepard you into a new era of love.
For you, I’ll always select paragon options.
Did you roll a nat 20 on your diplomacy check, because I’m inexplicably charmed.
Is your name Epona, because I’d like to take you for a ride.
I’d love for you to wield my master sword.
Is your name Tifa? Because you KO my heart.
My resistance to your smile is overcome by your limit break.
Is your name Lara Croft? Because I dig you.
You can frag me all night long.
Is this a tournament, because you’re unreal.
I’d love to see you without all that armor.
If Space-Time is a continuum, how could my affection be binary?
What pronouns do you use, because I think YOU are a singularity.