Dean confessing that he wants to explore new feelings with people.
Not women. People. That means men as well.
I don’t know guys, I know that everybody’s been excited about what this means for Destiel (and if you’ve been following me, you’ll know that I AM TOO) but I was focusing more on Dean’s sexuality in what he was saying. I felt like it was more about him coming out then him referring to Cas (who of course features in it but I’ll get there).
Now, Dean had just finished expressing regret over his treatment of women here, of his general ‘love em and leave em’ mentality. So, had you no experience of Supernatural prior to watching this episode (highly not recommended, but hey, whatever floats your boat), you might have figured “ok, so this guy is obviously a player with women and now he’s looking to leave that behind him and maybe try committing to one woman for a while. That’s good, good for him.” And you’d be right, it is good, it is FANTASTIC that Dean is showing this emotional growth and I am so thankful to the writers for including this thin slice of development after the repetitive nature of Season 10 when it comes to discussing the removal of the Mark. Hopefully this will mean also that we can avoid problematic comments about the attractiveness of nuns in the future, but I digress. My point is that you are right, but only kind of.
Dean’s already explored… Well, mostly everything, in terms of his relationships with women. Sex and kinky shit, yes - hell, right down to trying on Rhonda Hurley’s underwear - but also relationships. That’s right, one Lisa Braedon. Now it’s possible that the writers have simply forgotten about Lisa, but I’m hoping this is an unlikely circumstance, otherwise we might have more pressing concerns than exploring Dean’s sexuality in terms of getting the writers to remember their own narrative.
So, let’s assume that they haven’t forgotten Lisa. Dean was with Lisa, and her teenage son, for a year. He was faithful to her for the course of this year, lived a surburban life, and was a caring father to Ben. But, like most other things in his life, the relationship was not successful.
Thus, if Dean’s expressing these desires to experience certain people and feelings differently, “maybe even for the first time”, it’s not concerning women, specifically his desire to stop sleeping around and commit to one. Because he had already tried that. It wouldn’t be the first time, and it’s unlikely there’ll be a second anyway, unless the woman played a part in the hunting life already and Dean was not going to inflict any additional danger by sticking around her.
But what woman do we know who is like that? Jo, perhaps, once upon a time, but she’s now gone. Charlie is a lesbian. Dean’s probably a little young for Jody’s taste.
Anyway, I’m steering off from the main point. The main point is that if these are new experiences - women? I don’t think so.
Ahhh. So its not about women, then.
Now, getting to Cas. The fact that Dean included ‘feelings’ as well as people and things, and it was clear that he meant ‘feelings’ in more than a theoretical sense, meant it as more than potential feelings he might gain if he pursued a relationship with a new woman (seeing as we have decided that there is no current woman who is already a part of his hunting life who could play this role for him, meaning that this woman would have to be a new manifestation), for instance.
No, these feelings are existent. “There’s people, feelings.” These feelings exist. Seeing as we’ve decided this wasn’t about women exclusively, we can look at men. How many male individuals does Dean have in his life? Sam, Cas, Crowley, maybe Cole after last episode?
Sam is his brother, and that is more then enough argument for me personally (although I don’t by any means try to deny people the right to ship Wincest). Crowley, it’s possible, given their recent closeness, but unlikely, given that Dean often expresses disgust and disdain when talking to or about Crowley. It seems unlikely that Dean would have feelings for him. Cole, now that one’s a little more possible here. But, also unlikely, given that it would be mostly attraction if anything at this stage.
But Castiel. Castiel is the one.
Leaving aside the obvious church symbolism, about the confession to a servant of God, about the referral to faith when one of the first things Cas ever said to Dean was that he had none, and that this was his problem. Leaving a that aside - next to his brother, Castiel is the most constant thing in Dean’s life. He is there to assure that Dean is worth saving, that he is worth dying for, that…
Ok you know what? If you want a list of reasons why Destiel is authentic I’m sure you could find it on my blog somewhere.
My point was that I thought this was about Dean being bisexual, primarily.
And choosing to show Dean coming out of the confession booth when they could have just cut to the next scene was just the final touch on Dean’s long and arduous journey out of his closet.
I wrote this at 2am so please don’t attack me if I’ve expressed something wrong.
holygrounrd