Uut Poetry

Uut Poetry

Uut (n.): the chance meeting of a galleon and a caribou on the dissecting table of America
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This site is an endless adventure in the poetry and poetics of surrealism. Read about the origin and trajectory of this adventure on the Manifesto page.
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Brooks Lampe teaches writing, literature, and philosophy, at George Fox University in Newberg, Oregon. The poetry on this site, unless otherwise stated, is his. The rights to all works belong to their respective authors. Images are used by permission or license. Banner art by Karen Constance. Opinions expressed herein are my own (or respective authors') and not the views of my employer.
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10 Questions You Might Have About the Interstate Mullet Toss

Dale Wisely

1.      What exactly is the Interstate Mullet Toss?

No one knows exactly what it is. But, generally, the Interstate Mullet Toss is held on the Florida-Alabama state line on the beach. The event draws thousands of people, many of whom compete to throw a mullet from the state of Florida into Alabama

2.      When and how did the Mullet Toss start?

Little is known about the origins of the Mullet Toss. The suspected culprit is a mosquito-borne virus. Officials in Florida and Alabama have suggested that women delay becoming pregnant. And the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has advised pregnant women to postpone travel to these locations.

3.      What are the rules of tossing a mullet?

Civilians may never be targeted. To do so is a war crime. Every care must be taken to avoid harming civilians, and to avoid destroying the things they need for survival. They have a right to receive the help they need.

4.      Is the mullet alive?

Website stories and videos have surfaced alleging the mullet was not gunned down on September 7, 1996, as officially reported, but has been secretly living in Cuba. In the US, celebrity website Thereporterz.com ran a story headlined: “After Nearly 19 Years Of Hiding the Mullet Comes Out Of Hiding.” The Mullet was victim of a drive-by shooting at a junction in Las Vegas, Nevada, and died six days later in hospital. Ever since his death there have been conspiracy theories suggesting he never actually died. But this is the first claim he is about to return “from the dead”. The report also included what appeared to be a picture of the star with his arm draped around Rihanna, who would have been eight when the fish died.

5.      What if I don’t want to toss a mullet? Should I still go?

You have no idea the worth of your life. All of us, every single one, touches other lives through our entire lifetime. They too help others, the lives we touch touch again other lives. It’s a giant puzzle where all of our lives intermingle, interact, and affect others. You are as important a piece of that puzzle as anyone else, your achievements may yet exceed mine.

6.      Is there a bikini contest?

Serious searches for evidence of a bikini contest began in the 19th century, and they continue today via telescopic investigations and landed missions. While early work focused on phenomenology and bordered on fantasy, modern scientific inquiry has emphasized the search for water, chemical biosignatures in the soil and rocks at the planet’s surface, and biomarker gases in the atmosphere.

7.      Is there parking at the Mullet Toss?

Parking for the Mullet Toss is self-contained: The lower third of two 65-story towers is a continuous up-spiral parking garage with space for 896 vehicles each. The garage was made famous in the 1979 feature film The Hunter, in which Steve McQueen, playing a bounty hunter, is involved in a high-speed car chase up one of the parking spirals. At the top, McQueen’s target loses control of a 1980 Pontiac, careens out of the building and plunges into the Chicago River below.

8.      Can I arrive by boat?

Yes. The Interstate Mullet Toss has a long history of accepting refugees for resettlement and over 800,000 refugees and displaced persons have settled their since 1945.

9.      What can I bring and not bring?

Bring rage. Rage is an important attribute which is required to superlatively perform your task. By assuring that you would bring passion you can likewise explain the same. You can work out that you can help others and also break into a professional. You can as well add up that this warmth would be a driving force for any individual work efforts which create them into an educated, responsible and detail-oriented mullet tosser with a desire for success. You cannot bring coolers, chairs, tents, pets, or your own alcohol.

10.   Do people wear costumes?

The custom of wearing costumes at the Mullet Toss is an allusion to the nature of the original miracle, where the details of the story are really miracles hidden within natural events.

We dress differently at the Mullet Toss to minimize the embarrassment of the poor who go around collecting charity on this day—a day when we give charity to everyone who outstretches their hand.

Source/seed texts:10 Questions you may have about the Interstate mullet toss” on al.com; “Explainer: where did Zika virus come from and why is it a problem in Brazil?” on theconversation.com; “Rules of war (in a nutshell)” by the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) on youtube.com; “Shock Claim: Dead rapper Tupac Shakur still ALIVE and to come out of hiding THIS year” on www.express.co.uk; Answer to a Quora question, “I don’t want to live anymore. What should I do?” on quora.com; “The World’s 18 Strangest Parking Garages” on popularmechanics.com;“ “Asylum seekers and refugees: what are the facts?” on aph.gov.au; “What to say when asked ‘what can you bring to the company?” on content.wisestep.com. “ “Why Do We Dress Up on Purim?” on chabad.org.


Dale Wisely has contributed to Uut Poetry many times

Notes

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