Three Little Fonzies

**When you finally win a Pokémon battle with your last conscious Pokémon and you have basically no health left:**

Pokemon Pokemon battle Steve Harvey Close Call

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#Pokemon #Pokemon battle #Steve Harvey #Close Call

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omgsteveharvey

agentgraham

#no one is more frustrated with the state of the human condition than steve harvey is

how-do-i-theatre

hereiamtornado

steve harvey is always 100% done with everyone

spongebobssquarepants

Bars + Pokemon Go

Dude 1: Bro, look at that girl. She keeps looking over here. I think she's into you man
Dude 2: [looks at girl]
...
...
...
Dude 2: No dude...she wants a battle.
-DJ STARTS PLAYING EPIC TRAINER BATTLE MUSIC-
-CENTER OF THE CLUB TURNS INTO POKEMON ARENA-

squid-skywalker

captainsnoop

I always thought it was funny that your player character in Pokemon is 10 years old. Like, yeah, they’re “anime ten” where they look at least 18 yadda yadda, but they’re still ten.

Imagine the people in the Pokemon League. These are fully grown adults, right? They’ve trained their entire lives to be the best trainers in their country. They’re the best of the best. And then a ten year old walks in. A high and mighty four foot tall ten year old with a big smile on their face walks in. They’ve never even seen a tity. They don’t know where babies come from. They’re ten.

How did this ten year old get in to your arena? Did they wander in here by mistake? They say they’re here to battle you. Aww, how cute. This kid wants to fight the big league trainers, so they snuck in to fight you. That’s cute and funny. You’ll tell the others about this next lunch break. You decide to humor the kid and accept their challenge. You toss out your level 50 Tyranitar. You and this Pokemon have spent decades together, you trained for ages to get it to Level 50. You’re the best trainer in the country.

The kid reaches on their belt and tosses a Master Ball. Wait, what? A Master Ball? How did that kid get a Master Ball? Out of the master ball pops…

God.

God popped out of the Master Ball.

The very same God Pokemon that controls the flow of space, that you go to church and pray to every Sunday.

This ten year old kid just pulled out a Master Ball and threw God at you. God is, in fact, Level 73.

God shoots Hyper Beam at your life-long partner Tyranitar, causing it to evaporate in to dust. He’s fainted in one hit. The kid yawns.

The kid wipes your entire party of Pokemon, the Pokemon you spent most of your adult life training and caring for. You are stunned. You ask the trainer how long they’ve been doing this. They say “I started a couple of days ago.”

This kid is ten.

octopus-mischief

baketothefuture

Holy fuck

The people who got the Pokemon Go beta test did data mining and apparently one of the “biomes” where different Pokemon are is “Place of Worship”

Battle the pope to get arceus confirmed

zigludo zigludo

fuck this means im going to have to join a church to complete my pokedex

oankali

religion-locked pokemon

nintend-hoe-deactivated20160214

nintend-hoe-deactivated20160214

nintend-hoe-deactivated20160214

nintend-hoe-deactivated20160214

thatsthat24

connorsquarter

literally desaturate any frame from john m.ulaney’s latest standup and it looks like it’s from a variety show in 1935

connorsquarter

foreverfiftythousandfrozenfoxes

I’m sorry but variety shoes did not exist in 1935. Or even 45

connorsquarter

constable-connor constable-connor

I added additional effects on that first edit.

serious-goose necrofuturism

kingoftheunderground

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

kingoftheunderground

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

kingoftheunderground

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

kingoftheunderground

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

cakesoup

please give us updates

kingoftheunderground

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying.

kingoftheunderground

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

smallest-feeblest-boggart

op will not die of natural causes

Three Little Fonzies — When you finally win a Pokémon battle with your...

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

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Bars + Pokemon Go