On the other hand, if you feel like you have something to lose by not following through on this, that’s a big sign too. “If you have a fantasy that is a constant source of erotic energy and heat and it would crush you not to enjoy it, hold off and try to figure out how, at the very least, to optimize the experiment,” Carol Queen PhD, Staff Sexologist at Good Vibrations, tells Bustle. Even if it seems a bit nerve-wracking, if you can’t handle keeping this in your head any longer (and it’s safe, consensual, and legal), it’s probably just time to go for it.