I’m going to delete this account soon. This will be my last post. If you’re still here, thanks. I’ll see you around.

Just 36 more days and I’m done with exams.

I told my mum I’m saving one of the old £1 coins to “show to my kids someday” forgetting of course that I’ve been telling her for years that I don’t want kids (but I recently realised I just don’t want to be a mother). She of course doesn’t know that and now thinks that I’m over the whole pregnancy thing. Nope, I just wanna be a dad.

I’m always shocked when I look in the mirror. You never really realise but you’re the person you look at the least out of everyone, and if your idea of yourself varies from your image, it can be incredibly jarring.

How do I tell if what I’m feeling is real or just in my head? I’ve felt this way for years, but am I actually dysphoric? Will transitioning help me in the long term? I’m scared I’ll transition and still not be happy.

I don’t think I want to die. I think I want to have not existed in the first place

I keep panicking that I’m just making up what I’m feeling and that I’m actually just a confused girl and that I’ve convinced myself into being distressed when I’m referred to by my birth gender? Like the dysphoria I feel is made up? I’m scared I’ve convinced myself into it???

Enjoy what you want to enjoy and stay away from fandoms. That’s my main advice.

The thing about liking anime is, you’ve got to own it. You’ve got to think, “yeah it’s cringey at times and the fandoms can be awful but that’s okay” and not get defensive when people act like you’re weird for it. You’ve got to be able to make fun of yourself for “being a weaboo”. Enjoy stuff without feeling guilty.

I just want someone to talk to who enjoys the same stuff as me