inanimate // eyes

#{ answered }#mal0dramatic #{ headcanons }#{ hc }#{ hcs }#{ about }#{ valerie details }#{ valerie concepts }

𝒎𝒂𝒍𝟎𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅: 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 + 𝑮𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒔 // @mal0dramatic //

valerie is someone who loves to give gifts , though she is never sure if they would be appreciated. she tries , and she always writes down what people tell her , what they like , and what they would want if they got a gift.

when valerie is given a gift , she will always cry. ALWAYS. someone went out of their way to think about her , and got her something that reminded them of her. she will keep it forever , she will cherish it , and she will always be thinking about it , and will be so so so so grateful.

timidstrcngth-arch reblogged

😴 - climbs into bed with my muse

Bucky didn't think twice when Valerie crawled into bed with him. He merely opened sleepy eyes to pull his daughter close, letting her head rest on his chest. He hoped his heartbeat might help calm whatever had driven her to seek him out.

"I've got you sweetheart," he promised, listening to the rain against the window, hoping soon she'd be able to fall back asleep.

@xbuckybarnes-wintersoldierx

it was almost comical how small valerie even is , though bucky was pretty large himself. it took her but a moment as she looked from him and the bed , then to her feet , debating with herself as to if she should do this. she could be interrupting him , the last thing she wishes to do. however , the thought of being alone again .... she has the notion she is being selfish , though she walks to the bed , and she slowly goes under the blanket , moving herself a bit , and poking her head out on the other side.

she didn’t know he was semi awake , so the arms pulling her closer do cause her to stiffen. when she remembers who it is holding her , she relaxes , and allows him to maneuver her. now with her ear aligned with his heart , her eyes flutter shut again as she takes deep breaths. she hears the words he speaks to her , but she does not respond ; she merely curls herself around him. she needs to sleep , she knows she does , but those images ...

#xbuckybarnes windersoldierx #{ cont. int }#{ ic int. }#{ closed int. }#{ iconless }

timidstrcngth-arch reblogged

valerie sat , fiddling with a brush in her hands. she never could get the back of her head , and if she did it always snagged. she feels the back of her head , cringing when she is able to feel the knots back there. maybe this was a bad idea. she sets it down again , placing her hands in her lap { idk soft. }

Bucky noted Valerie’s struggle, and he waited a second for her to ask for help. When she didn’t, he sighed to himself and stepped closer, holding his hand out for the brush.

“Not everyone knows to help if you don’t ask,” he breathed quietly, his voice reassuring as he took the brush and moved behind her, starting gingerly on the ends of her hair so he didn’t make the knots worse.

“I like being able to help you, but I’m not a mind reader.”

she was being foolish , as she knows he is willing to lend his aid in many things , and she felt oddly like he is disappointed when she doesn’t ask for help. she did not even know that he was watching her , though when he approached she did. it was not that she didn’t want to ask , it is more she did not feel like she had the right to ask. he has already done so much and even if it is a small thing …. she was not very good at this , taking care of herself , properly knowing what to do all the time for her health. this is not something that has to do with her well being but for vanity , but it also served as a reminder that normal people would know how to do this the right way.

she squeaks , as he is now right beside her. he is not scolding her for this , of course he isn’t , though that he even has to tell her this is devastating to her. he has been telling her that she can come to him when she needed his help , though she always would forget ; and with such a simple task ? it was a thing one would mention to a child , how for their development they have to ask for things so that people help them along. even if she was very grown up for her age , she was still what one would consider a child , just turning into a teenager and still appearing all the part of someone younger.

“ of course. apologies. “ she states , a gentle smile coming to her , then it falls again. “ i just thought…. never mind. “ she goes to say that she should be able to do something so simple on her own , but she stops ; all of this , navigating the world , was hard.

Bucky could feel the remorse in her words. The way she held herself back. He couldn’t help but think it was something she got from, as he was bad about it himself. He also knew how hard it was to ask for help when you felt like something should be simple enough to navigate yourself. A sigh left his lips, though it’s merely in thought as he carefully freed her of each knot, brushing from the ends of her hair up so it didn’t snag so easily and damage her hair. “I know it isn’t always easy to ask,” he assured, his voice gruff, though his actions were soft. “Just know I’m here when you need me, no matter how little the task.”

He didn’t know how to put it any more delicately than that. He wished sometimes he was good with words like Steve was. “You know, I used to do this for my sister too. Growing up. We were really close, and I felt like it was my job to take care of her. I used to brush out her hair for her when mom wasn’t home and I would put her hair in two pigtail braids.”

she wanted to ask , she really did ; now that she has someone that she can ask for help , she was going to utilize this. however , with everything , it might take some time. since everything happened , she was opened up to another world of things that she could do , things she never could have imagined she would have been able to. she thought that the moment she was placed inside that facility , that was where she was going to die. a part of her , a large part , did not mind ; if she was deemed this useless by the people who were supposed to care about her , why would anyone else think any differently ? it had been a year , then she had been there for two years , then more , and on and on. the will she had to even get out of there was not her own , and she had not a clue where this came from.

she shakes her head slightly to make those thoughts go away , so that she could enjoy the reality she was in right now ; she wasn’t going back , he cared about her , he loved her , and he wasn’t going to send her back. as she sat and he made quick work of untangling her hair , her hands stayed in her lap. she is sitting up erect, almost like she is afraid to move even half of an inch. “ it is okay , i will do better to remember next time. “ she assures him , her fingers beginning to fiddle around. what did she do ? should she try to make conversation ? should she ask about something ?

she was glad when he was the one to begin to speak again. she would not have known what to say , and she wouldn’t even be able to make it up on the spot ; their lives have both been full of trauma and pain , so if she mentioned anything from her old life , it would be brought up again for the both of them. “ that sounds nice. “ she smiles. she could just imagine that ; he was gentle with people , even if he looked so intimidating and tough , he had a good heart.

#xbuckybarnes windersoldierx #{ cont. int }#{ ic int. }#{ closed int }#{ mobile for now but i’ll be back }#{ iconless }#// awwww

timidstrcngth-arch reblogged

anakin-skywalker

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) dir. David Yates

#{ wishlist }#{ reblog from the source or imma cry }

timidstrcngth-arch reblogged

scribedhorror

@timidstrcngth|| meme || accepting “ you do not o—owe me a—anyt—anything. ”

“I know that, but I care about you and I want you to have everything you want in life. If it’s in my power, I’m gonna do it and I want you to know that it isn’t because I feel like I have to,” he assured softly with a small fond smile. “Anything you need, okay?” Bill was under no illusion that Valerie wouldn’t ask even if something did come up, but he would do his best to be aware of those moments so that she didn’t have to ask. They were similar in that way, preferring to deal with their struggles quietly so as not to be a burden on anyone else, so he understood exactly where she was coming from.

#scribedhorror #{ cont. meme }#{ ic int. }#{ closed int. }#// these two are precious #// and too much the same

valerie has the overwhelming need to ask why he feels this way , why he would care about her when she did nothing to deserve this. he has been nothing but kind to her since nearly the moment they met. since then , he would regard her with the same kind consideration , and she never thought she returned the same back ; she would not be surprised if she didn’t. she lifts her eyes to him , her head slightly tilting to the side as she listens to him. “ sir , that is t---touch--touching , h---howe---however , i would n--never wish for you to go out of y---your w---way for me. “ she responds , not having to mention that she did not have the right to be seen as someone to be cared about. since they were one and the same , it was like she was much too easy for him to read. it terrified her to no end , to be understood ; she would much rather go unseen until she is needed , then fade into the background once again. “ i j---just .... “ she does not know how to continue ; she would express her gratitude , though she is not sure that would be enough either.

#moreprofoundbonds #{ cont meme #{ ic int. }#{ closed int }#// baby !!!!!#{ new post }

cont. from // here // with @moreprofoundbonds

valerie has only seen a little one this young once , and it was because she was in the hospital visiting someone else. she had walked by the nursery , and she could not help but be drawn in , observing them with her wide eyes. she clutched the flowers she was bringing to her dear friend , watching the babies with their little hands , their tiny feet ; how peaceful they are. valerie wonders if she was ever this tiny , though she never did have any baby pictures of her , as her parent did not care enough to preserve the memories ; they did not care about her at all.

the moment she is witnessing is precious , and she cannot help but tear up a bit when she observes this moment with mother and child. how she was telling the sleeping girl in her arms about how her features resemble her father’s adds to this warm feeling in her chest , and she wipes at her eyes to clear them of the moisture collecting there. how worn out the woman must be is clear in her voice , even if she did not say so. nibbling on her bottom lip , she does not want to get too close and crowd them. “ she is as b---beauti---beautiful as y---you , miss. p---perf---perfect as can be. “ valerie states sincerely , reaching out slowly to brush against the soft cheek of the infant. “ i do h---hope she l---likes me. “ valerie admits , glad a child could not pick up on how awkward she is.

#xbuckybarnes windersoldierx #{ cont. int }#{ ic int. }#{ new post }#{ mobile for now but i’ll be back }#// ow #physical abuse tw #mental abuse tw #child neglect tw #child neglect mention tw #traumatic childhood tw #trauma tw

cont. from // here // with @xbuckybarnes-wintersoldierx

the look he had on his face when she asked made her eyes widen , and she was about to rewind her words and take it all back. “ i am sorry , that is not my place to ask. i do hope you forgive me , and if not , i understand. “ she is about to get up and leave him alone so she doesn’t hurt him more , though she pauses when he reaches out for her to hold onto her. her strands being removed from in front of her features causes her confusion , because she thought she made him uncomfortable with her inquiry.

she was left in the dark on so many things , even things that happened to her that she repressed. still , she could not harbor any hate for them , even if they did cause her severe emotional and physical anguish. they were doing what they had been told to , and maybe they were doing so so they didn’t suffer as she was. it might have been a trick of the fluorescent lights , though she could have sworn she saw remorse.

she made herself comfortable in his arms as she always did , her hand delicately moving to lay over his. the contrast of the sizes was fascinating , though when she would put hers atop his , it just looked right. “ you do not have to tell me if you do not wish to. i am so sorry for asking in the first place. “ she nibbles on her bottom lip , though she finds herself allowing her body weight to lean fully into him.

she listens as he recalls what her mother was like , and valerie wonders how she could have gone this long not knowing what a loving familial relationship with someone should be like. there are times she almost succumbed to what they did to her , and she thought that a few times she mumbled out for them to please just end her , but something made her keep going ... something that she now knows is this , this moment , being right here. as he kept going , she picks up the hand she had been covering with her own , gently fiddling with his fingers. she does not know why , but his hands always confused her ; she has seen hands like this , but those were sadistic and cruel , these were comforting and gentle. even his other arm , made out of metal and not at all authentic but artificial ; it was gentle too.

she does not say a word the whole time , just absorbing all he has to tell her. his voice was soothing , and she lays her head on his chest. his heartbeat was thudding loudly , and she closes her eyes as she focuses on that and his voice ; safety. she can’t imagine how hard to do something like that is. how does one do such an act with no feeling behind it , and then just ... leave ? is there something she is missing ? she is unsure how to think about all of this , tears shining in her eyes. she goes still , settling his hand back down. what could she say ? what did he want her to say ?

“ i am sorry to hear that , it must have been hard to ... for that to have happened. “ valerie replies , though now that she knew the truth , she was not mad at her father , though she felt ... hollow. she was a product of something that ... perhaps neither of them even wanted to happen. and now , here she is , and ... “ i am so sorry to hear that. “

timidstrcngth-arch reblogged

rpxmusings

TELL ME :

AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH ?

#{ headcanons }#{ hcs }#{ hc }#{ about }#{ valerie details }#{ valerie concepts }

timidstrcngth-arch reblogged

rocknmeme

post - trauma sentence starters blood, death mention.

“don’t do that. don’t shut me out.”
“you’ve been crying. i can tell.”
“we need to change those bandages and get some food in you.”
“you want me to rub your back ’til you fall asleep?”
“that was a brave thing you did today.”
“shh, that’s okay, get everything out.”
“there’s something on your shirt. you – that’s blood!”
“need some space?”
“you should lay down.”
“there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.”
“shh, shh. you were having a nightmare.”
“we can talk through the door.”
“let’s clean you up and get you to bed, okay?”
“you almost died.”
“i brought you a blanket.”
“you’re home. you’re safe.”
“i’m worried about you.”
“is everything okay?”
“tell me how to make it better.”
“it’s been a tough few days. how are you holding up?”
“you have to stay awake. come on, give my hand a squeeze.”
“you’re in the hospital.”
“think you can make it to the bathroom?”
“no, no. don’t close your eyes.”

#{ asks }#trauma tw

timidstrcngth-arch reblogged

“ if you wish to ... can ... can you tell me about ... never mind , apologies. “

"What is it Val? I can't help if you don't tell me...."

valerie is clearly nervous , shuffling around a bit as her hands fiddle in her lap. how would she go about asking this , and why did she think she had the right to.

“ well .... biologically and all , i have to have come from another person , as well as yourself. and i was just wondering .... what the other person was like. “

she curls in on herself , her hair coming to obscure her features. she should not have asked.

timidstrcngth-arch reblogged

“You should really get some rest.”

“You’re one to talk. How many days has it been since you slept?”

valerie knows she shouldn’t have said anything , and she also knows she might have annoyed him. she clasps her hands in front of her , bowing her head. should she give an answer or just explain her concern ? he had been telling her he wishes to be concerned for her as well , thus she nibbles on her bottom lip.

“ forgive me , i did not mean ... i am just worried. “ she states , and she might get the same response back.

"I worry about you too," Bucky sighed, but he bit his lip, reaching for her.

"I'm sorry, Val. Come here sweetheart. Please?" He muttered, knowing he shouldn't have snapped like that. He was just tired, and tired of the nightmares that plagued him.

"Why don't we make a compromise and both try and get one sleep?" He hummed, wrapping his arms around her to pull her into his lap.

“ of course. “ valerie responds , smiling tgently as she fiddles with her fingers. she raises her head when she could see his offered affection in her direction , gazing from the arms to him and back. she thought she had bothered him , why was he offering to comfort her ? he should be sending her away , maybe so he can be alone. she cocks her head to the side , this being something she had not been expecting.

hesitantly , she approaches , though then stops every so often in case he changed his mind and wanted her to back off again. after a few moments , she is right there in front of him. through her blonde waves , she peers up to silently ask if she is interpreting his signs correctly. though she believes she is when accompanied by the verbal confirmation that she is.

the good thing is she didn’t get too tired anymore , she would just adopt a glassy look to her eyes , merely awake but not really able to perceive things ; not so much as shutting down , though this could be the beginning of the process. she gazes up more when he reaches out for her again , going immediately into his arms ; he worries for her , and she does for him ; she had to allow him to , he was her father , and she wanted him to , even if she didn’t know it.

she readily allows him to accept her into his hold , as she needed this as much as he was willing to provide it. she was young , she needed these kind of things ; needed someone to assure her that she didn’t have to do it alone anymore , that she was wanted ; but being truly seen and noticed , that was the thing she was not used to the most.

“ i would like that. “ she agrees , her smile lifting even more when she looks at him properly , now in his embrace as she should be ; she just hopes one day she feels like she has earned that place there.