@inventor-of-aggravated-assault / inventor-of-aggravated-assault.tumblr.com
hello my name is Max!! my pronouns change every so often but I'll have them in my about section if you're ever unsure
my partners I know the blog names of are @ohboy-herewegoagain, @tr0ddensn0w, @lake-river-screaming, and @eatsh1tandd1e
I have ADHD and am the current host of my system
this is my personal blog
I trigger tag with tw *triggering content* but please if I miss anything you can always dm me or send an ask and I'll do my best
stop playing it cool, just be passionate and intense and insane and whoever sticks around is meant for you
I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom
My dick has been on fire for over an hour
I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”
He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.
She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.
So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.
She fucking CUMS
And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me
“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”
And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.
ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF
its serialized. he’s a modern day dickens
Happy Valentine’s Day!
gripping the bathroom sink with tears in my eyes and saying "we're so back bro just wait" as a clenched-tooth prayer
map i made.
I live in a yaoi state 😔
Reblog to give a trans woman a delicious Cuban sandwich
grumpy mae… for a nitw animation I’ve been working on 👁️✨
die anywhere else.
I would love to sit in front of the ocean now with your hand in mine.
I would love to sit
in front of the ocean now
with your hand in mine.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
T Count: 21
Letter Count: 240
Your T Percentage: 8.75%
Average T Percentage: 10.40%
You used the letter T 0.84 times as much as average.
—
I’d adore sitting by the ocean, and holding hands with you, my love.
Dammit I tried real hard but nope now I’m shipping @the-haiku-bot and @t-counter -
You used the letter
T 0.84 times
as much as average.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I just found out VLC media player lets you do this????
It works in motion too!! Took me half an hour asdgfsadfghas
It should also be recognised that Lucille Ball helped advance the medium of television as a whole by, more or less, inventing the idea of reruns. This was, in large part, what drove the success of non-serialised shows such as Star Trek, but also paved the way for extremely popular television genres like the sitcom
