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i hoard wips like a dragon

@mistytheghost / mistytheghost.tumblr.com

Aru 🌸 26 🌸 she/her 🌸 ace sapphic 🌸 autistic 🌸 ANTIS, TERFS AND EXCLUS DNI
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reblogged
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whitesunlars

concept: anakin sitting in the council room bouncing baby luke on his knees as he adamantly denies having children or attachments 

And denies the Council permission to induct Luke and Leia Skywalker (no relation) into the crèche.

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islndgurl777

Leia runs up to him yelling, “Daddy! Look at this picture I drew of you and me and Mommy!”

He praises her artwork and tells her they will put it on the fridge at home, then turns to Mace and says, “I have no idea who this child is.”

all the comments on this post are the best out of any I’ve ever gotten but Anakin looking Mace dead in the eye and saying “I had no idea who this child is” might honestly be the best addition of them all

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Boba Fett’s reputation as the best bounty hunter in the galaxy comes from him pulling off an insane number of jobs throughout his life, some of which were even deemed impossible for a lone hunter to pull off

funnily enough, he doesn’t actually remember completing all of the ones people attribute to him, but after seeing the footage and biometric proof, he assumes that he’s been blacking out and entering some sort of exhaustion fugue state, or maybe he’s just had a few too many concussions

it’s not until he tries to claim a puck from the guild and is told that he’s already working that job that he starts to figure out that something more is going on, and decides to investigate who it is that’s been working this job

as it turns out, there’s actually like ten different escaped clones pulling bounties under his name, considering they all share the same DNA and face, who’ve put together a few fake versions of his father’s armor

many of them even work in teams, trading off who gets to ‘play Boba’ to the guild or clients

(they’ve also been using their shared DNA to access his space netflix account, which explains why the recommendation algorithm never seems to figure out what he likes and keeps telling him that he’s already watched shows he finds)

(strangely, he realizes that they haven’t touched any of his bank accounts, despite the fact that they could certainly have gotten through their security measures the same way)

after discovering this, he considers confronting them, killing them, even just turning them in to the guild

but then he’d lose some of his reputation if it comes out that impersonators can mimic him well enough to get the job done just as well as he could

so he just sends them all a message telling them to not fuck this up and continues with this life

Din goes looking for Boba at one point and runs into almost 10 different “Bobas” and its hilarious because only Actual Boba has ever met Din and these Fake Bobas just have this random Mando coming up to them and talking about his kid and just generally being like “um….. wtf?”

@takiki16 oh my GOD, amazing addition!

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gffa

Every time I think about, “Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend.” I start laughing because IT HAPPENED LIKE TWELVE YEARS AGO and THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE WERE SIDIOUS AND PLAGUEIS like there’s no way for the Jedi to even know this story existed, it’s not a millennia old tale, it was INCREDIBLY RECENT and they were Sith Lords IN HIDING, yet Palpatine just says that entire story with his whole chest like Anakin’s never going to go go the Jedi and say, “Hey, what’s up with never telling me about that Sith Legend Darth Plagueis?” so the Jedi can go “who the fuck is Darth Plagueis????” and Palpatine is RIGHT, Anakin’s brain is just like a hamster on a squeaky wheel, “oh okay I don’t know enough to tell if that’s true or not but I’m just gonna believe it”.  ABOUT A STORY THAT HAPPENED A DECADE AGO, NOT SOME ANCIENT HISTORY.  The absolute gall of Sheev Palpatine, there will never be another villain like him, he’s the bestworst.

#the funniest part about it for me is that it’s probably not even that uncommon of a story with the Sith#say Anakin did go demand the Jedi tell him about this#they’d tell him they’ve never heard of a Plagueis but sure lots of Sith were convinced they’d found the secrets of immortality#never worked out for them#and getting murdered in their sleep by their apprentice? a dime a dozen with the Sith#“the chancellor is probably just conflating various stories about historical Sith…wait why was he talking about Sith legends anyway?” (via @jedi-order-apologist) I am crying at the idea that Jocasta Nu, after being asked by a manic Anakin Skywalker about the Darth Plagueis legend, says she doesn’t know anything about that name, but she does have a dozen other stories about various elements that sound halfway familiar, so perhaps this is an amalgamation of various other stories, and she dumps like TWENTY VOLUMES of encyclopedias about the Sith in Anakin’s lap and says, okay, everything you need to know is in these books.  And Anakin is saved from diving face first into the dark side through the power of him falling asleep in the third volume in the middle of the Jedi Archives because a) he hasn’t slept in a week and b) they’re not nearly as exciting as he thought they’d be.  Jocasta just drapes a cloak over his shoulders and leaves him be with a soft pat to his back, he looks like he needed the rest.

#the idea of jocasta being like ‘hmm yes im afraid the chancellor only has a layman’s understanding of sith legends’ is soooo funny (via @gil-estel) Jocasta’s reaction to hearing about Sheev’s story being, “Those citations sound like complete shit.” is absolutely sending me.  If you can’t properly cite your sources, Jocasta Nu isn’t buying your bullshit, Sidious.

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monjustmon

Palpatine: No you don’t get it! I know what I’m talking about! I’m a primary source!

Jocasta, Anakin, The Council: what

Palpatine: what

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AU where Vader joins Luke at the end of ESB but all of Vader’s underlings are too scared to tell Palpatine that he deserted so they have to pretend Vader is still on their ship and hunting down rebels like Palpatine told him too for as long as they possibly can

it’s absolutely crucial that at some point someone has to dress up in a full Darth Vader mask and suit and get on space skype with Palpatine, but since the only person they have who even begins to match Vader’s frame sounds like a soft bunny when they talk, they have someone else doing the voice off-camera

Luke, Leia, and Vader catch wind of this while they’re hunting for Han and Vader has a brief freakout that Palpatine cloned him and was immediately ready to replace him, which Luke and Leia go along with because hey, it’s not weirder than anything else they’ve experienced. BUT Luke decides that they have to go rescue this new Vader too, because he’s also technically family and if Vader (original flavor) can change, then so can Cool Ranch Vader.

Cool Ranch Vader, who is three overworked and underpaid bridge techs in a trashbag, does not agree.

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How order 66 would go down if the clones all secretly removed their chips:

“Execute Order 66-”

Cody: “With all due respect, no.”

Wolffe: “With all due respect, fuck you.”

Tup: “I’m sorry, I’m driving through a tunnel, you’re breaking up - hello? Palps? You there?” *Hangs up*

Waxer: “New commlink, who dis”

Rex: “As much as I’d love to, I’ll pass.”

Boost: “I’ll see if I can pencil it in.”

Sinker: *makes beeping noise* “We’re sorry, the clone you are trying to reach is currently unavailable, please leave your message after the-” *dissolves into giggles*

Hardcase: “Turn around, bend over, and I’ll show you where you can shove your stupid order.”

Fives: “Order what? Were we actually supposed to memorise those?”

Echo: “Been there, done that. 10/10 would not recommend.”

reblogging for Hardcase

Reblogging because all my babies 😂

HARDCASE

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maulusque

Dogma: *checks notes* *nervous sweating* *checks notes again* umm….. no?

Comet: hold on i have to ask my dad HEY GENERAL, CAN I SLAUGHTER THE JEDI?

Plo Koon, in the distance: ask your mother

Comet: ….

Comet: WOLFFE, CAN I-

Kix, politely: i will steal your teeth

Fox: you know what, that actually would make my job much easier. I’ll see if i can fit it in

Gree: Whelp, you heard the man *picks up yoda by his collar and dumps him in the trash can*

Jesse: bold of you to assume i can count higher than three

Bly: how dare you assume i can count higher than three

Colt: Yes, sir. Cadets, ATTACK!

Shaak Ti, being tackled by fifty tiny children: I am shockingly okay with this

*chef kiss*

I’m sorry but Bly is a fucking mood.

I’m still not convinced that Bly wouldn’t just propose to Aayla right then and there with Palps screaming in frustration in the background

Boil: sorry just woke up, I’m not a morning person, lemme get some coffee first and I’ll call you back

Wrecker: Order what?? 69 did you say?? NICE

Crosshair: kriffing telemarketers. 

Tech: I regret to inform you that your order expired two months ago. I can offer you a discount on your next one, if you’d like

Hunter: Mmmm I’m gonna go with a hard ‘no’.

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This is the only vine I’ve ever made that matters

But since Vine died, I’m uploading it here.

The way grevious looks over at the camera

The on beat running

The fucking clone just casually loading his rocket launcher

How everyone except that clone looks out the window like “well damn that really is general grevious running down the side of a building…. huh.”

Like NO ONE reacts except the clone I love it

The only thing I dislike is I haven’t seen it before.

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systlin

Listen, Rocket Launcher is the perfect way to deal with this sorta bullshit

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reblogged

I haven't watched the Wrong Jedi arc in a while because it's too painful, but I just saw a post (no offense to the OP if they somehow read this!) that I disagreed with... And being that this is the internet, I decided to write a post about it. Because.

So the post said -- I believe -- that Ahsoka let her emotions cloud her better judgment when she decided to leave the Jedi Order. And... no. I really disagree with that. Really.

Let's look at the situation. Ahsoka is roughly seventeen, and she's been fighting on the frontlines of a war with her roughly 22/23 year old master for three years. This is already a terrible, exploitive situation. That alone, had Ahsoka been made aware of how sick it was that she had been a soldier since she was fourteen, was grounds to leave the Jedi Order.

But in the Wrong Jedi arc we have Ahsoka framed for a crime she didn't commit, and then we have the Jedi Order expelling her from their Order -- a seventeen year old child who has very few connections and support outside of them -- with full knowledge that a) the Republic is probably more invested in cleaning up the mess than getting justice (I think this was said in the arc) and b) they will execute this seventeen year old girl.

Maybe the evidence pointed to Ahsoka. But the Jedi Order should have waited. They had the power to protect her, they had knowledge of her character, and they had people -- Anakin, Plo, and Obi-Wan -- who could testify to Ahsoka's character, that she would never do what they were accusing her of. They should have given people time to investigate, to make sure it wasn't a frame up job. She was a child, and she was under their protection, and they threw her to the wolves.

You want to know why I don't like the Jedi Council? Because only TWO of them voted to protect Ahsoka: Obi-Wan and Plo Koon. Yoda didn't. Mace didn't. Everyone else didn't.

Then, after Ahsoka goes on the run, they task Anakin -- if I remember correctly -- with finding her and bringing her in. That's a) sick b) traumatic for both of them and c) a conflict of interest. The whole thing was a dog's breakfast of an operation.

So. To sum up, Ahsoka was scapegoated, betrayed, and traumatized by how the situation was handled. She was nearly executed. It was Anakin's 11th hour intervention that saved her. After that, maybe -- MAYBE -- the Jedi Council's actions could be forgiven. It was a bad situation and perhaps they did the best they could and acted according to their consciences.

BUT THEN.

They don't apologize to Ahsoka. They don't admit wrongdoing. Instead, they try to pass it off as the will of the Force. "Your trauma and pain was necessary to make you a better Jedi." It's not their fault. It's not that they failed to protect a child (regardless of what age is considered adult in this world, she's still a padawan, meaning she is under their care). It's not that they spat on everything she did for them. It's not that they immediately believed she did it, even if it made no sense. It's not that they pitted her and her beloved master against each other. No. It's the will of the Force.

And Ahsoka -- in a moment of stunning maturity and bravery -- sees right through their idiocy and dishonesty and calls them on it, which is something we see basically no else do. Ever. They offer to induct her back into the Order, as though nothing happened, as though everything they did was part of some grand plan they had, and she turns them down. She realizes that she is not safe in the Order. She's not protected. She's not valued. She is a tool and a resource, and they can and will throw her away if it is expedient. She realizes something that Anakin -- heartbreakingly -- never will. (He was a slave and he only stopped being a slave because Qui-Gon saw a shiny Force sensitive who he thought would be useful. He was always something of an object to Qui-Gon and to much of the Order, even if they didn't realize it.)

So she leaves. She leaves to discover who she is outside the Order. This hurts her. It hurts her a lot. She loves Anakin, she loves Obi-Wan, and she loves Plo. If she had let her emotions dictate her decision, she would have stayed with the Jedi. She would have stayed where it was familiar, where she knew what was expected of her and who she was expected to be. But she didn't. She chose to make the safer, braver decision to leave. To leave the cult she had grown up in.

It was not Ahsoka's job to remain in the Order and fight in a war she never consented to being involved in. It wasn't her job to be their soldier. To stay wouldn't have been selfless. It would have been stupid. It would have only hurt her.

So yeah.

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Didn’t think I’d find myself agreeing with Count Dooku but here I am.

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fialleril

Okay but he’s honestly 100% right.

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swan2swan

This post keeps cropping up and isn’t going away, so here’s my response:

Dooku’s wrong.

Yoda absolutely sees all of the evils and wrongs that exist in the galaxy. He sees the corruption and flaws, he has seen them for centuries–but what would someone have him do?

Yoda could have seized control of the galaxy at any time, far more ruthlessly and efficiently than Sidious ever did. He could have seized control of the Senate, whether by mind-control or the point of a lightsaber, and demanded that they stop their corruption and greed and go forth to fight and free slaves and bring all distant, lawless planets of the galaxy under the protection of the wise, powerful, and good Jedi. He could have pulled the Jedi Order away from the Republic, scattered its members to operate in back alleys and impoverished villages on remote worlds, shunning all the comforts and protection that the Jedi became accustomed to…

But he didn’t, because he is not the Sith.

What Yoda does, instead, is speak to children. He trains them from youth to help the helpless and put the needs of others before their own. He teaches adults to heed the words of youth, and ensures that the next generation will retain the wisdom that he has found. He watches them and raises them again and again–and most importantly, he grants every being around him the freedom to choose.

Not once has Yoda ever demanded that a Jedi remain in the Order. No Jedi is a prisoner–Dooku and Ahsoka were both allowed to leave, and when Anakin was considering abandoning the order as a child, Yoda gave Obi-Wan the freedom to follow his student, if he chose. Even when Luke Skywalker, the next-to-last hope of the galaxy, chose to hurry away from his unfinished training and rush into certain death, Yoda let him go. He could have picked up the ship and sunk it back into the swamp, he could have overpowered Luke and forced him to remain, but he did not–not because of complacency or corruption, but because he would never force his own will upon someone.

Dooku’s belief stems from a desire to control and find perfection. He can’t accept that people will make wrong decisions and hurt others while remaining unpunished–Dooku understands what the galaxy needs, and so it is Dooku who will determine what is right and what is wrong. His resulting actions–actions that Yoda could have taken at any time–resulted in the slaughter of trillions and a war that ripped the galaxy in two before locking it within the iron grip of Darth Sidious. He earned the name “Tyrannus” because he believed that people could be made to follow morals and ideals by force.

Yoda has smelled the stench of corruption for almost nine hundred years, but he has never ignored it. He has simply never allowed it to spread to him, and fought to keep those around him from being corrupted in turn.

I can’t believe this has to be explained but there is a world of difference between enforcing your will on someone and offering help to disenfranchised people. You can’t set the Jedi up as protectors of freedom in the galaxy, then do fuck-all to achieve that end, and after all that claim that you’re doing the right thing.

And in the case of slavery, the Jedi wouldn’t even be going against the “will of the people” or whatever if they worked to end it, because slavery has been made illegal in the Republic. Slaves’ freedom is more important than their masters’ wills! And what about the slaves’ wills to be free? What argument are you even trying to make with this line of discussion?

(And let’s not forget that Dooku did fuck-all to help the slaves of Tatooine either. Dooku wants power, he doesn’t want to help anyone but himself).

And this is exactly how a young, good-hearted young man brought about the doom of the galaxy.

I could do an enormous response with sources showing why this misinterprets and ignores Yoda’s willful acceptance of and contribution to the corruption of the Republic and how the Jedi through Yoda actively assist and even further the practical and logistical efforts of slave owners, and how Yoda himself says in Rebels that his actions were blinded by and motivated by fear, I could go on and on about how under Yoda the Jedi take control of a warrior slave class to fight a war with entire purpose, and knowledge that they do so, how “the Jedi lost the moment they began the war because they became so obsessed with the political goals of the republic that it caused them to ignore those who needed them when it wasn’t convenient” is repeated practically every sixth line of Matt Stover’s novelization, how the danger of religious organizations becoming the attack dog of secular political bodies is a really huge theme of Star Wars as a whole but the prequels in specific, how the point of the Rebellion is that even when evil is big and despotic and there’s so many involved and it’s roots go deep, we still have a duty to fight it because it is evil and we are good, i could do all of that

But instead I’m going to point out how absolutely insane it is, how totally wild it is, to say that slaves shouldn’t be freed by those with the capabilities to do so because the infighting among their oppressors as a result would be too big of a risk, and how reducing the legitimate theme of “small people make big impacts” which is one of the most beautiful of Star Wars, to “freeing the slaves and doing everything you can to assure their oppressors can’t take up the chains again is the exact same thing as despotic rule to keep those people enslaved and any attempt at undoing systemic oppression is gonna make you darth Vader :) so Yoda was totally right and let’s give him credit for all these things he had no part of” is wild, it’s so wild

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reblogged

Didn’t think I’d find myself agreeing with Count Dooku but here I am.

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fialleril

Okay but he’s honestly 100% right.

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swan2swan

This post keeps cropping up and isn’t going away, so here’s my response:

Dooku’s wrong.

Yoda absolutely sees all of the evils and wrongs that exist in the galaxy. He sees the corruption and flaws, he has seen them for centuries–but what would someone have him do?

Yoda could have seized control of the galaxy at any time, far more ruthlessly and efficiently than Sidious ever did. He could have seized control of the Senate, whether by mind-control or the point of a lightsaber, and demanded that they stop their corruption and greed and go forth to fight and free slaves and bring all distant, lawless planets of the galaxy under the protection of the wise, powerful, and good Jedi. He could have pulled the Jedi Order away from the Republic, scattered its members to operate in back alleys and impoverished villages on remote worlds, shunning all the comforts and protection that the Jedi became accustomed to…

But he didn’t, because he is not the Sith.

What Yoda does, instead, is speak to children. He trains them from youth to help the helpless and put the needs of others before their own. He teaches adults to heed the words of youth, and ensures that the next generation will retain the wisdom that he has found. He watches them and raises them again and again–and most importantly, he grants every being around him the freedom to choose.

Not once has Yoda ever demanded that a Jedi remain in the Order. No Jedi is a prisoner–Dooku and Ahsoka were both allowed to leave, and when Anakin was considering abandoning the order as a child, Yoda gave Obi-Wan the freedom to follow his student, if he chose. Even when Luke Skywalker, the next-to-last hope of the galaxy, chose to hurry away from his unfinished training and rush into certain death, Yoda let him go. He could have picked up the ship and sunk it back into the swamp, he could have overpowered Luke and forced him to remain, but he did not–not because of complacency or corruption, but because he would never force his own will upon someone.

Dooku’s belief stems from a desire to control and find perfection. He can’t accept that people will make wrong decisions and hurt others while remaining unpunished–Dooku understands what the galaxy needs, and so it is Dooku who will determine what is right and what is wrong. His resulting actions–actions that Yoda could have taken at any time–resulted in the slaughter of trillions and a war that ripped the galaxy in two before locking it within the iron grip of Darth Sidious. He earned the name “Tyrannus” because he believed that people could be made to follow morals and ideals by force.

Yoda has smelled the stench of corruption for almost nine hundred years, but he has never ignored it. He has simply never allowed it to spread to him, and fought to keep those around him from being corrupted in turn.

I can’t believe this has to be explained but there is a world of difference between enforcing your will on someone and offering help to disenfranchised people. You can’t set the Jedi up as protectors of freedom in the galaxy, then do fuck-all to achieve that end, and after all that claim that you’re doing the right thing.

And in the case of slavery, the Jedi wouldn’t even be going against the “will of the people” or whatever if they worked to end it, because slavery has been made illegal in the Republic. Slaves’ freedom is more important than their masters’ wills! And what about the slaves’ wills to be free? What argument are you even trying to make with this line of discussion?

(And let’s not forget that Dooku did fuck-all to help the slaves of Tatooine either. Dooku wants power, he doesn’t want to help anyone but himself).

And this is exactly how a young, good-hearted young man brought about the doom of the galaxy.

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hrmit

Hey y’all are arguing against emancipation bc it would hurt economic systems… read like any book. Please. It’s all fun to talk about a star war but. Take a beat here. That has been and always will be an argument against freeing slaves anywhere. Like. Y’all.

This. It’s chilling how many real-life arguments for the “inconvenience” and “logistical nightmare” of fighting against systems of oppression, specifically slavery, are being echoed here.

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