Destroy the myth that libraries are no longer relevant. If you use your library, please reblog.

So apparently Ask a Mortician has gotten told this video “violates community guidelines” for showing “non-graphic dead bodies without educational intent,” “excessive law enforcement without educational intent,” and “blood and gore.” (Spoiler: none of those things happened.)

It’s a documentary on a disaster you may never have heard of, the USS Eastland. It’s done with incredible quality, research, and heart, and it’s all but been delisted. YouTube is refusing to give answers as to why. (I have my suspicions, which are “she came down pretty hard on a shitty corporation in this video and it hit just a liiiiittle close to home.”)

Caitlin has asked that if viewers enjoyed the documentary or found it helpful, we share it directly with others. So I am here. Y’all know how important history is to me.

Make this important to you too.

This link pops up as age-restricted and what appears to be a link to YouTube in the message body does not work. However clicking on the little teeny "play" icon in the lower right corner *does* work. Reblogging because I like history and because censorship reeeally pisses me off.

What the FUCK.

Just to be clear, I got the link by going directly to her channel on the YT app, clicking the video, and using the “share” button. There should not be any shady link bullshit going on here. That is entirely YouTube.

tw// everything tbh

hey dear people, i'm an iranian girl. i want to talk about life in iran, so you can gain some perspective and understand what we're going through.

from the age of seven we have to wear a hijab to attend school, we have to study the quran and islam. we can't go to the same school with amab people. we can't criticize the government or talk about the leader and these are considered crime in iran. there is awful awful oppression against minorities. they treat followers of other religions so badly, there aren't enough resources for them to study their own religion. one minority group that they treat so badly are followers of Baha'i religion. some years after the islamic revolution they ex3cuted 10 bahaii women, one of them was Mona Mahmoudnejad who was 17 years old. a few months ago they ruined a bahaii neighborhood, also they can't go to work or have insurance. they also ex3cute atheists.

other than religious oppression there is gender inequality. afab people are considered half a person, so their income, their testimony and their blo0d money are less than an amab person. also there are laws about compulsory hijab. (i just want to mention that amab people have it bad too, there is compulsory military service and they can't attend universities if they don't do military service).

and let's talk about queer rights. you probably know what they do to gay people. a month ago they wanted to ex3cute two queer rights activists. we don't know what happened because they probably can't have a lawyer. people often think that being a trans person is easy in iran because you can have surgery covered by insurance. unfortunately i don't know enough about the surgery but i've heard that it's still really expensive for an average person. other than that they don't consider non-binary people as trans and they force gay people(amab people mostly) to transition. something that i want to mention is the role of compulsory hijab in dysphoria.

lastly i want to talk about political groups. they arrest people for political beliefs and there are literally thousands of people in the prisons because of that. everyday i hear that some person is arrested for saying that they don't want the government.

i've faced some of these oppressions and i struggle with religious trauma and i'm only 16!!! so i want people to try to raise awareness and help us overcome the government. right now cellular network has been shut down and i can only use wifi, but they cut off the wifi in big cities. they are k¡lling people in the protests. they shot Amir Fuladi, a 15 yo boy. you can find more information on twitter, search the hashtags #مهسا_امینی / #MahsaAmini / #IranProtests / #OpIran

if you have any questions please feel free to ask <3

Women, Life, Freedom

Every reblog removes one HP from the queen

i cant wait until she actually dies and everyone freaks out saying the final reblog did the last hit

This is so fun its just like Jenga

Vriska: "Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. 8ut she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only 8e 8roken 8y love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, Felted 8y a terri8le fire-8reathing Terezi. Many 8rave knights had attempted to free her from the dreadful prison, 8ut none prevailed. she w8ed in Terezi's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss." Vriska, laughing: Like that's ever gonna happen. Vriska: What a load of-- Vriska: goes a8out her d8y while villagers plan to kill her Vriska, after going about her day: 8elches Villagers: go! go! Dave: think it's in there? all right! let's get it! Roxy: whoa!!! hold on! do u no what that thing could do to u? Jake: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread! Vriska, laughing: Yeah, well, actually, that would 8e a cheru8. Now, trolls-- they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. Dave: no! Vriska: They'll sh8ve your liver! Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Vriska: Actually, it's quite good on toast. Dave, waving a torch: back! back, bitch! back! i warn ya! Vriska: licks her fingers and snuffs the fl8me Dave: right… Vriska: roaring Dave, Roxy, and Jake: screaming in terror Vriska: more roaring Vriska: continues roaring Dave, Roxy, and Jake: continues screaming Vriska, whispering: This is the part where you run awaaaaaaaay. Dave, Roxy, and Jake: do just that while screaming for their life Vriska, laughing: And st8y out! Vriska, picking up their poster: "Wanted. Weirdo sci-fi creatures." Vriska: siiiiiiiighs

Felt: All right. this one's full. take it away! Felt 2: Move it along. Come on. Get up! Equius: D-> Ne%t! Felt 3: Give me that broom! your flying days are over, witch. Equius: D-> Now that's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Ne%t. Felt 4: Get up! Equius: D-> Twenty pieces. Felt 5: Come on! Felt 6: Sit down there! Keep quiet! Nepeta, crying: :((< this cage is too small! John: Please, don't turn me in. i'll never be stubborn again. i can change. please! give me another chance! Jane: oh, shut up! John: oh! Equius: D-> ne%t! what have you got? Dirk: This little metal puppet. Lil Hal: I'm not a puppet. I'm a real dude. Equius: D-> five shillings for the possessed toy. take it away. Lil Hal: Father, please! Don't let them do this! Equius: D-> Ne%t. Lil Hal: Help me! Equius: D-> What have you got? Jane: Well, I've got a talking windsock. Equius: D-> Right. well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. Jane: Oh, go ahead, little fella. Equius: D-> Well? Jane: Oh, oh, he's just-- he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. talk, you boneheaded dolt-- Equius: D-> That's it. i've heard enough. Felt! Jane: No, no, he talks! He does! Jane, moving John’s lips: I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw! Equius: D-> Get her out of my sight. Jane: No, no! I swear. oh! he can talk! Felt: take Jane away, kicking and screaming Jane: kicks a fairy, which lands on John John, now flying: *gasps* Hey, i can fly! Rufioh: he can fly! Mituna: H3 C4N FLLY! Equius: D-> he can talk! John: Ha, ha! that's right, fool! now i'm a flying, talking windsock guy! you might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but i bet you ain't never seen a John fly. ha, ha! Uh-oh. John: crashes Equius: D-> Seize him! Felt 7: after him! he's getting away! grunts, gasps Felt 8: get him! this way! turn! Everyone: bumps into Vriska Equius: D-> You there, cerulean! Vriska: aye? Equius: D-> By the order of Lord Eridan, I am authorized to place you both under arrest, and transport you to a designated... resettlement.... facility........ Vriska: oh, really? you and what army? Equius, now alone: D-> *gasps, whimpering, and ultimately runs away*

John, chuckling: Can i say somethin' to you? listen, you was really, really somethin' back there. incredible! Vriska: are you talkin' to-- me? John: *disappears, then reappears* Vriska: whoa! John: Yes, i was talkin' to you. can i tell you that you was great back there? those Felts! they thought they was all of that. then you showed up, then bam! they was trippin' over themselves like babies in the woods. that really made me feel good to see that. Vriska: oh, that's gr8. really. John: Man, it's good to be free. Vriska: Now, why don't you go cele8r8 your freedom with your own friends? hmm? John: But, uh, i don't have any friends. and i'm not goin' out there by myself. hey, wait a minute! i got a great idea! i'll stick with you. you're a mean, green, fightin' machine. together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. Vriska: *8itches, loudly* John: Oh, wow! that was really scary. if you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some tic tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks! girl, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time-- Vriska: *covers his mouth* John: *mumbling* Vriska: *uncovers his mouth* John: -then i ate some rotten berries. i had strong gasses eking out of my butt that day. Vriska: Whyyyyyyyy, are you following me???????? John: I'll tell you why. John, singing: 'Cause i'm all alone. John, singing more: There's no one here beside me, John, continuing to sing: My problems have all gone, there's no one to deride me. John, really getting into it: But you gotta have friends! Vriska: Stop singing! it's no wonder you don't have any friends. John: Wow. only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. Vriska: Listen, little human. take a look at me. what am i? John: uh-- really tall? Vriska: No! i'm a bitchy troll. you know, "gra8 your torch and pitchforks." Vriska: doesn't that 8other you? John: Nope. Vriska: really? John: Really really. Vriska: oh. John: Man, i like you. what's your name? Vriska: uh, vriska. John: Vriska? well, you know what i like about you, Vriska? you got that kind of i-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. i like that. i respect that, Vriska. you all right. whoo! look at that. John, coming up to Vriska’s hive: Who'd want to live in a place like that? Vriska: that, would 8e my home. John: Oh! and it is lovely! just beautiful. you are quite a decorator. it's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget John: I like that boulder. that is a nice boulder. John: …. I guess you don't entertain much, do you? Vriska: i like my privacy. John: You know, i do too. that's another thing we have in common. like, i hate it when you got somebody in your face. you're trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. there's that awkward silence, you know. Vriska: *awkwardly silent* John: Can i stay with you? Vriska: uh, what? John: Can I stay with you? please? Vriska: of course! John:Really? Vriska: no. John: Please! i don't wanna go back there! you don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. John: Well, maybe you do. but, that's why we gotta stick together! you gotta let me stay! please! please! Vriska: okay! okay! 8ut one night only. John: Ah! thank you! Vriska: what are you-- no. no. John: This is gonna be fun! we can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', i'm makin' waffles. Vriska: ugh! John: Where do, uh, i sleep? Vriska: outside! John: Oh, well, i guess that's cool. i mean, i don't know you, and you don't know me, i guess outside is best. John: *sniffles* John: Here i go. good night. John, sighing: I mean, i do like the outdoors. i'm a human. i was born outside. i'll just be sitting by myself. outside, i guess. you know. by myself. Outside. John, singing but sad this time: I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me.

Vriska: *sighs* *wood creaking* Vriska, annoyed: i thought i told you to st8y outside? John: i am outside! clattering clattering Aradia: well every0ne, it's a far cry fr0m the farm, but what choice d0 we have 0-0? Sollux: iit'2 not home, but iit'll do ju2t fine. Jake: what a lovely bed! Vriska: got ya. Jake, sniffing around: i found some cheese! Jake: *bites Vriska* Vriska: ow! Jake: Blah! awful stuff. Aradia: is that y0u, jake? Jade: how did you know? Vriska: enough! what are you doing in my house? Vriska: *is hit with a fridge* Vriska: hey! Karkat: *SNICKERS AWKWARDLY* Vriska: oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. dead 8road off the ta8le! Karkat: WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PUT HER? THE BED'S TAKEN. Vriska: huh? Jade: what? Vriska: i live in a swamp. i put up signs. i'm a terrifying troll! what do i have to do to get a little privacy? Jade, being promptly thrown out the door: aah! The Door: *shows Vriska what’s going on outside her hive* Vriska: oh, no. no! no! oh, no. Vriska: what? Vriska: what? are you doing?? in my swamp???????? Everyone: *le gasping* Vriska: all right, get out of here. all of you, move it! come on! let's go! hapaya! hapaya! hey! quickly. come on! no, no! no, no. not there! out of my hive! Vriska: *sighs* John: Hey, don’t look at me. i didn't invite them! Lil Hal: gosh, no one invited us. Vriska: what? Lil Hal: we were forced to come here. Vriska: 8y who? Mituna: L0RD 3RD4M. H3 HUFF3D ND H3 PUFF3D 4ND….. H3 7H1GN3D 4N 3V1C710N N071C33. Vriska, sighs: all right, who knows where this Eridan guy is. murmuring John: Oh, i do! i know where he is! Vriska: does anyone else know where to find him? anyone at all? anyone? John: Me! me! oh! oh! pick me! oh, i know! i know! me, me! Vriska: okay, fine. attention, all alien, weirdo, things. do not get comforta8le! your welcome is officially worn out! in fact, i'm gonna see this guy Eridan right now, and get you all off my land and 8ack where you came from! *cheering* *twittering* *cheering continues* Vriska: oi! You! Vriska, pointing at John: you're comin' with me. John: All right, that's what i like to hear! vriska and john, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind, big-city adventure. i love it! John, singing once more: On the road again- sing it with me, Vriska! John, singing on: I can't wait to get on the road again Vriska: what did i say about singing? John: Can i whistle? Vriska: no. John: Can i hum it? Vriska: all right. hum it. John: humming

*long, protracted scene of Eridan walking down the hallway* Tavros: *iS BEING WATERBOARDED* Eridan: that's enough! he's ready to talk. Tavros: *cOUGHING* Eridan, laughing: run, run, run, as fast as you can. you can't catch me. i'm pupa pan! Tavros: yOU'RE A MONSTER. Eridan: i'm not the monster here, you are. you and the rest of that trash, poisoning my perfect wworld. noww tell me, wwhere are the others? Tavros: eAT ME! Tavros: *sPITS IN ERIDAN’S EYE* Eridan: i'vve tried to be fair to you creatures. noww my patience has reached its end! tell me, or i'll-- Tavros: nO, nOT MY LEGS! nOT MY SHINY METAL ASS! Eridan: all right, then. wwho's hiding them? Tavros: oKAY, i'LL TELL YOU, dO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN? Eridan: the muffin man? Tavros: tHE MUFFIN MAN Eridan: yes. i knoww the muffin man. wwho livves on drury lane? Tavros: wELL, sHE'S MARRIED TO THE MUFFIN MAN. Eridan: the muffin man? Tavros, crying: tHE MUFFIN MAN!!! Eridan: she's married to the muffin man. *door opens* Equius: D-> My lord! we found it. Eridan: then wwhat are you wwaiting for? bring it in! Equius: D-> puts a thing on a pedestal Everyone: *gasping* Tavros: oH. Eridan: magic mirror, rose lalonde. Tavros: dON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING! Equius: D-> yeets Tavros Tavros: nO!!! Eridan: evvening. mirror rose, on the wwall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of all? Rose: Well, technically you're not a king. Eridan: uh, gamzee. Gamzee: SmAsHeS a MiRrOr Eridan: you wwere saying Rose, unimpressed: What I mean is, you're not a king yet. but you become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. Eridan: go on. Rose, chuckling: So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her evil sister and mother. Please welcome, Feferi Piexes! Rose: Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is! Come on, give it up for Aradia Megido! Rose: And last, but certainly not the least, bachelorette number three is a fiery jadeblood, from a Terezi-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! Rose: But, don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Rose: Yours for the rescuing, princess Kanaya! Rose: So will it be, bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two, or bachelorette number three? Felts: two! two! three! three! two! two! three! Eridan, anxiously: three? one? three? Gamzee, holding up two fingers: ThReE! pIcK nUmBeR tHrEe, My LoRd! Eridan: okay, okay, uh, number three! Rose: Lord Eridan, you've chosen princess Kanaya. Rose, singing: “If you like piña coladas. and getting caught in the rain-” Eridan: princess kanaya..... Rose, still singing: “if you're not into yoga-” Eridan: she's perfect. all i havve to do is just find someone who can go-- Rose: But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. Eridan: i'll do it. Rose: Yes, but after sunset- Eridan: silence! i wwill make this princess kanaya my queen, and duloc wwill finally havve the perfect king! captain, assemble your finest men. wwe're going to havve a tournament.

cuts to John and Vriska outside the castle John: But that's it. that's it right there. that's eridan’s place, duloc. i told ya i'd find it! Vriska: so, that must 8e lord Eridan's castle. John: Uh-huh. that's the place. Vriska: do you think may8e he's compens8ing for something? Vriska: laughs John, groans: Hey, wait. wait up, Vriska. Vriska: hey, you! Jake, in an Eridan costume: screams Vriska: wait a second. look, i'm not gonna eat ya. i just-- i just-- Jake: whimpering and runs away Vriska: *sighs, marching stoicly through the 8ullshit, and the empty line* Jake: *hits his head on the wall, whimpering, groans* Vriska: it's quiet. too quiet. Vriska: where is every8ody? John: Hey, look at this! John: *presses a button on a thing* Thing: *clattering, whirring, clicking* Thing: *clicking* Thing: *clicking quickens* Clubs Deuce, singing: welcome to duloc such a perfect town! here we have some rules, let us lay them down. don't make waves, stay in line and we'll get along fine, duloc is a perfect place. please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your… face. duloc is, duloc is, duloc is a perfect place! ♪ Clubs Deuce: *takes a picture of Vriska and John* John: Wow! let's do that again! Vriska: no. no. no, no, no, no, no! no. *trumpet fanfare* *crowd cheering* Eridan, in the distance: bravve knights. you are the best and brightest in all the land. *John humming* Eridan: today one of you shall provve himself-- Vriska: all right, you're going the right way for a smacked 8ottom. John: Sorry about that. Crowd in the distance: cheering Eridan: that champion shall havve the honor-- no, no-- the privvilege, to go forth and rescue the lovvely princess kanaya, from the fiery keep of the terezi. if for any reason the wwinner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up wwill take his place, and so on and so forth. some of you may die. but it's a sacrifice i am wwilling to make. Crowd: cheering Eridan: let the tournament begin! Vriska and John: enter the scene Crowd: gasps Eridan: wwhat is that? Crowd: gasping some more Eridan: it's hideous! Vriska: ah, that's not very nice! Vriska :…..it's just a windy boy. John: Huh? Eridan: indeed. knights! neww plan. the one wwho kills the troll wwill be named champion! havve at her! Hearts Boxcars: get her! Vriska: oh, hey! now, come on! hang on now. Meenah: go ahead! get her! Vriska: can't we just settle this over a pint? Diamonds Droog: kill the beast! Vriska: no? all right then. come on! Vriska: smashes the keg open ♪ bad reputation by joan jett playing a fight breaks out, in which Vriska proceeds to whoop everyone’s ass in a wrestling ring. Meanwhile, John uses the busted giant keg in order to steamroll everyone, probably murdering them in cold blood John: Hey, Vriska, tag me! tag me! Vriska: o8liges John: Kicks spades slick in the head Vriska: ha! Vriska: yeah! Latula, in the crowd: th3 ch41r! g1v3 h1m th3 ch41r! bell dings Crowd: cheering Vriska, laughing: oh, yeah! ah! ah! thank you! thank you very much! i'm here till thursday. try the veal! ha, ha! Vriska laughs, meanwhile the Felt bust out an absurd number of guns and point them at Vriska crowd gasping, murmuring Felt 9: shall i give the order, sir? Eridan: no. i havve a better idea. Eridan: people of duloc! i givve you our champion! Vriska: what? Eridan: congratulations, cerulean. you're wwon the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. Vriska: quest? i'm already on a quest. a quest to get my swamp 8ack. Eridan: your swwamp? Vriska: yeah, my swamp! where you dumped those weird alien freakshows! crowd murmuring Eridan: indeed. all right, lowblood. i'll make you a deal. go on this quest for me, and i'll give you your swamp 8ack. Vriska: exactly the w8y it was? Eridan: dowwn to the last slime-covered toadstool. Vriska: and the squatters? Eridan: as good as gone. Vriska: …..what kind of quest?

John: Let me get this straight. you're gonna go fight Terezi, and rescue a princess just so Eridan will give you back a swamp, which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. is that about right? Vriska: you know what? may8e there's a good reason humans shouldn't talk. John: I don't get it, vriska. why don't you just pull some of that troll stuff on him? throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole troll trip. Vriska: oh, i know what. may8e i could have decapit8ed an entire village, and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. does that sound good to you? John: uh, no, not really, no. Vriska: For your inform8ion, there's a lot more to trolls than people think. John: Example? Vriska: example? okay, um…… trolls are like onions! John, sniffing her onion: They stink? Vriska: yes-- no! John: They make you cry? Vriska: no! John: ohhh, you leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs? Vriska: no! l8yers! onions have l*yers. trolls have layers. onions have layers. you get it? we 8oth have layers! Vriska: *sighs* John: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. John, sniffing the now discarded onion: You know, not everybody likes onions. John: Cakes! everybody loves cakes! cakes have layers. Vriska: i don't caaaaaaaare, what everyone likes. trolls. are not. like c8kes. John: You know what else everybody likes? parfaits. have you ever met a person, you say, "hey, let's get some parfait," they say, "no, i don't like parfait"? parfaits are delicious. Vriska: no! you dense, irrit8ing, miniature 8east of 8urden! trolls are like onions! end of story. 8ye-8ye. Vriska, whispering: see ya later! John: …..parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet! Vriska: you know, i think preferred your humming. John: So you have a tissue or something? i'm making a mess, just the word parfait makes me start slobbering.

cut to a travel montage where the duo end up at the foot of a volcano John: Ooh! Vriska! did you do that? you gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. my mouth was open and everything. Vriska: 8elieve me, john, if it was me, you'd be dead. Vriska: sniffs Vriska: it's 8rimstone. we must be getting close. John: Yeah, right, brimstone. don't be talking about it's the brimstone. i know what i smell. it wasn't no brimstone. it didn't come off no stone either. Volcano: rumbling Vriska and John: stare at the castle in the middle of a volcano for a minute Vriska: …sure, it's 8ig enough, but look at the loc8ion! John: Vriska? remember when you said trolls have layers? Vriska: oh, aye. John: Well, i have a bit of a confession to make. humans don't have layers. we wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. Vriska: w8 a second. you don't have sleeves. John: you know what i mean! Vriska: you can't tell me you're afraid of heights. John: No, no, i'm just a little uncomfortable being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava! Vriska: come on, John. i'm right here 8eside you, okay. for emotional support. Vriska: we'll just tackle this thing together, one little 8a8y step at a time. John: Really? Vriska: really really. John: Okay, that makes me feel so much better. Vriska: just keep moving. Vriska: and don't look down. John: Okay, don't look down. don't look down. don't look down. keep on moving. Vriska: kinda done with him John: Don't look down. John: breaks a step and stumbles John: Vriska! i'm lookin' down! John: God, i can't do this! just let me off right now! please!!! Vriska: 8ut you're already halfway there John: But I know that half is safe! Vriska: okay, fine. i don't have time for this. you go 8ack. John: Vriska! no. wait! Vriska: John-- let's have a dance then, shall we? Vriska: shakes the 8ridge John: Don't do that! Vriska: oh, i'm sorry. do what? oh, this? Vriska, with a shit eating grin: swings the 8ridge even more John: Yes, that! Vriska: this? this. do it. okay! Vriska: swinging the 8ridge like no8ody’s 8usiness John: Vriska! no! stop it! Vriska: you said do it. i'm doin' it! John: i'm gonna die. i'm gonna die. vriska, i'm gonna die! John, stepping back onto solid land: Oh! Vriska, patting his face affectionately: that'll do, john. that'll do. John: cool. so, where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway? Vriska: inside, w8ing for us to rescue her. John: I was talking about terezi, vriska.

John, whispering: You afraid? Vriska: no, 8ut-- shhhhhhhh. John: oh, good. me neither. John: Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. unfamiliar dangerous situation, i might add. with a Terezi that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. i sure as heck ain't no coward. i know that. Vriska: John, two things, okay? shut…….. up. now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. John: Stairs? i thought i was lookin' for the princess. Vriska: the princess will 8e up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. John: What makes you think she'll be there? Vriska: i read it in a 8ook once. John: Cool. you handle the terezi. i'll handle the stairs John: I'll find those stairs. i'll whip their butt, too. those stairs won't know which way they're going. John, doing his own thing: gonna take drastic steps. kick it to the curb. don't mess with me. John: I'm the stair master. i've mastered the stairs. i wish i had a step right here, right here. i'd step all over it. Vriska, spotting the tower: well, at least we know where the princess is, 8ut where's the--? John: Terezi! Terezi: RO4RS John: runs away from Terezi Vriska: John! look out! John: screaming manly screams as they run away from terezi John: whimpering in fear rather courageously Vriska, grabbing Terezi’s cape: got ya! Terezi: RO4RS MOR3 4S SH3 FL1NGS 4 B1TCH 4W4Y Vriska: whoa! whoa! Whoa! Vriska: crashes into the tower John, meanwhile: Oh! aah! aah! Terezi: GROWLS John, absolutely cornered: No! oh, no. no! John, at this point desperate: Oh! what large teeth you have! Terezi: GROWLS MOR3 John: I mean, i mean, white sparkling teeth. i know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. do i detect a hint of minty freshness? Terezi: G3NU1N3LY FL4TT3R3D John: And you know what else? You're-- Terezi: LOOMS 1N John: You're a girl, terezi! oh, sure! John: I mean, of course you're a girl, terezi. John: Cause, you're just reeking a teal-blooded beauty. Terezi: BLUSH3S John: What's the matter with you? you got something in your eye? Terezi: BLOWS 4 H34RT SH4P3D SMOK3 R1NG John, coughing a little: Ooh. oh. oh. man, i'd really love to stay, but, you know, i'm, uh-- coughs i'm an asthmatic, and i don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings and stuff. John: Vriska! Terezi: DR4GS H1M BY TH3 HOOD John: No! vriska! vriska! vriska!

Vriska, waking up from her crash landing: groans, sighs Kanaya: Gets Herself Ready Kanaya: Oh! Oh. Vriska, in armor, shaking Kanaya: wake up! Kanaya, definitely shaken: What!? Vriska: are you princess Kanaya? Kanaya: I Am, Awaiting A Knight So Bold As To Rescue Me. Vriska: oh, that's nice. now, let's go! Kanaya: But, Wait, Sir Knight. This Be-Ith Our First Meeting. Should It Not Be A Wonderful, Romantic Moment? Vriska: yeah. sorry, lady. there's no time. Kanaya: Hey, Wait. What Are You Doing? You Know, You Should Sweep Me Off My Feet, Out Yonder Window, And Down A Rope Onto Your Valiant Steed. Vriska: you've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? Kanaya: Mm-Hmm. Vriska: gra8s kanaya and makes 8reak for it Kanaya: But We Have To Savor This Moment! You Could Recite An Epic Poem For Me. A Ballad? A Sonnet! A Limerick? Or Something! Vriska: i don't think so. Kanaya: Can I At Least Know The Name Of My Champion? Vriska: um, vriska. Kanaya: Sir Vriska. Kanaya, clearing throat: I Pray That You Take This Favor As A Token Of My Gratitude. Vriska: thanks! Vriska: wipes the sweat away Terezi: RO4R1NG OFF 1N TH3 D1ST4NC3 Kanaya: You Didnt Slay The Terezi? Vriska: it's on my to-do list. now, come on! Kanaya: But This Isnt Right! You're Meant To Charge In, Sword Drawn, Banner Flying! That's What All The Other Knights Did! Vriska: yeah, right 8efore they 8urst into flame! Kanaya: You Know, That's Not The Point! Oh! Wait. Where Are You Going? The Exits Over There. Vriska: well, i have to save my ass. Kanaya: What Kind Of Knight Are You? Vriska: one of the kind. John, cuddled by Terezi: Slow down. slow down, baby, please! i believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. just call me old-fashioned. i don't to rush into a physical relationship. i'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this-- magnitude really is the word i'm looking for. magnitude-- hey, that is unwanted physical contact! Terezi: BR1NGS 4 C4NDL3ST1CK CLOS3R John: Hey, what are you doing? Terezi: L1GHTS SOM3 C4NDL3S John: Okay, okay. let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. we really should get to know each other first as friends or maybe his pen pals. 'cause i'm on the road a lot, but i just love receiving cards, and-- i'd really love to stay, but-- hey, hey, hey! don't do that! that's my windsock! that's my personal sock. you're gonna tear it off. i don't give permission to-- wait. John: What are you gonna do with that? hey, now! Terezi: L34NS 1N FOR 4 K1SS John: no way. no! no! no, no! no. no, no, no! no! Oh! Vriska: launches a quick 8ut ultim8ly 8um8ling rescue, ending with a quite literal ass kissing and a slightly confused 8ut massively annoyed Terezi John: Hi, princess! Kanaya: It Talks! Vriska: yeah, it's getting him to shut up, that's the trick! John: Vriska! Vriska: oh! Vriska: hits herself in some unpleasant ways Terezi: G1V3S CH4S3, RO4R1NG L1K3 SH3 DO3S TH3 WHOL3 W4Y Vriska: okay, you two. head for the exit. Vriska, grabbing a sword: i'll take care of the Terezi. Vriska: run!!!!!!!! Vriska: manages to chain up Terezi in the castle while making a 8reak for the rope 8ridge, cutting it partway through Terezi: JUMPS, BUT 1S CH41N3D TO TH3 C4STL3 Terezi: RO4RS, MOROS3LY Terezi: NOW GROWL1NG 1N TH3 DIST4NC3

Kanaya: You Did It! You Rescued Me! Youre Amazing. Youre-- Youre Wonderful. Youre… A Little Unorthodox, Ill Admit. But Thy Deed Is Great, And Thine Heart Is Pure. I Am Eternally In Your Debt. John: clears throat Kanaya: And Where Would Be A Brave Knight Be Without Her Noble Bestie? John: All right, i hope you heard that. she called me a noble bestie. she thinks i'm a noble bestie. Kanaya, laughing: The Battle Is Won. You May Remove Your Helmet, Good Sir Knight. Vriska: uh, no. Kanaya: Why not? Vriska: i have…….. helmet hair? Kanaya: Please. I Would’st Look Upon The Face Of My Rescuer. Vriska: no, no, you wouldn't'st. Kanaya: But, How Will You Kiss Me? Vriska: what? that part wasn't in the jo8 description. John: Maybe it's a perk :D Kanaya: No, Its Destiny. Oh, You Must Know How It Goes. A Princess Locked In A Tower And Beset By A Terezi, Is Rescued By A Brave Knight, And Then They Share True Loves First Kiss. John: hmm? with vriska? you think-- wait. wait. John: You think that vriska is your true love? Kanaya: Well, Yes. John and Vriska: w8 a moment John and Vriska: laughing now John: you think vriska is your true love! Kanaya: What Is So Funny? Vriska: let's just say i'm not your type, okay? Kanaya: Of Course, You Are. Youre My Rescuer. Now-- Now Remove Your Helmet. Vriska: look. i really don't think this is a good idea. Kanaya: Just Take Off The Helmet. Vriska: i'm not going to. Kanaya: Take It Off. Vriska: no! Kanaya: Now! Vriska: okay! easy. as you command, your highness. Kanaya: You-- Youre-- A Girl. Vriska: oh, you were expecting prince charming. Kanaya: Well, Yes, Actually. Oh, No. This Is All Wrong. Youre Not Supposed To Be A Girl. Vriska: princess, i was sent to rescue you 8y lord Eridan, okay. he's the one who wants to marry you. Kanaya: Then Why Didnt He Come To Rescue Me? Vriska: good question. you should ask him that when we get there. Kanaya: But I Have To Be Rescued By My True Love. Not By Some Troll And Her Schlub. John: So much for noble bestie. Vriska: you're not making my jo8 any easier. Kanaya: Im Sorry, But Your Job Is Not My Problem. You Can Tell Lord Eridan That If He Wants To Rescue Me Properly, Ill Be Waiting For Him Right Here. Vriska: hey! i'm no one's messenger girl, all right? i'm a delivery girl. Kanaya: You Wouldnt Dare. Kanaya, being lifted up: Put Me Down! Vriska: ya comin', John? John: i'm right behind ya. Kanaya: Put Me Down, Or You Will Suffer The Consequences! This Is Not Dignified! Put Me Down!

Some time later… John: Okay, so here's another question. say there's a woman that digs you, right? but you don't really like her that way. how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? Kanaya, still on Vriska shoulder: You Just Tell Her She's Not Your True Love. Everyone Knows What Happens When You Find Your- Vriska: jostles her Kanaya: Hey!! Kanaya: The Sooner We Get To Duloc The Better. John: oh, yeah. you're gonna love it there, princess. it's beautiful! Kanaya: And My Groom-To-Be? Lord Eridan? Whats He Like? Vriska: well, let me put this way, princess. men of Eridan's standards are in short supply. laughs John: I don't know, Vriska. there are those who think little of him. both laughing Kanaya: Stop It. Stop It, Both Of You. You're Just Jealous You Can Never Measure Up To A Great Ruler Like Lord Eridan. Vriska: may8e. 8ut i'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow. Kanaya: Tomorrow? It'll Take That Long? Shouldn't We Stop To Make Camp? Vriska: no, that'll take longer. Kanaya: But There's Robbers In The Woods. John: whoa! time out, Vriska! camping definitely is startin' to sound good. Vriska: hey, come on. i'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. Kanaya: I Need To Find Somewhere To Camp Now! Vriska, grunting: hey! over here. John: Vriska, we can do better than that. i don't think this is fit for a princess. Kanaya: No, No, Its Perfect. It Just Needs A Few Homey Touches. Vriska: homey touches? like what? Kanaya, ripping wood off a tree: A Door. Well, Ladies, Gentlemen, I Bid Thee Good Night. John: You want me to read you a bedtime story? i will. Kanaya: I Said, Good Night! Vriska: starts pushing a 8oulder closer to the cave John: Vriska, what are you doing? Vriska, laughing: i just-- you know-- oh, come on. i was just kidding.

John and Vriska: hanging around a bonfire Vriska: over there. that's Mindfang, the only troll ever to spit over three wheat fields. John: hey, can you tell my future from these stars? Vriska: the stars don't tell the future, John. they tell stories. look. there's Dualscar, the flatulent. you can guess what he's famous for. John: I know you're making this up. Vriska: no, look. there he is, and there's the group of juggalos running away from his stench. John: Man, ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots. Vriska: you know, John, sometimes things are more than they appear. hmm? forget it. John, sighing: Vriska. what we gonna do, when we get our swamp anyway? Vriska: our swamp? John: you know, when we're through with rescuing the princess. Vriska: we? John, there is no "we." there's no "our." there's just me and my swamp. the first thing i'm gonna do is 8uild a ten-foot wall around my land. John: you cut me deep, Vriska. you cut me real deep just now. you know what i think? i think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. Vriska: no. ya think? John: are you hidin' something? Vriska: never mind, John. John: this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? Vriska: no, this is one of those drop-it-and-leave-it-alone things. John: why don't you want to talk about it? Vriska: why do you always want to? John: why are you blocking? Vriska: i'm not 8locking. John: yes, you are. Vriska: John, i'm warning you. John: who you trying to keep out? Vriska: every8ne! okay? John: now we're getting somewhere! Vriska: for the love of pete! John: what exactly is your problem? what do you got against the world? Vriska: i'm not the one with the pro8lem. it's the world that seems to have a pro8lem. people take one look at me and go, "aah! help! run! a 8ig, stupid, ugly, 8isexual, 8lue, 8itchy troll!" Vriska: sighs Vriska: they judge me 8efore they even know me. Vriska: that's why i'm 8etter off alone. John: you know? when we met, i didn't think you were just a big, stupid, ugly, bisexual, blue, bitchy troll. Vriska: yeah. John: so, are there any Johns up there? Vriska: there's Johnny, the small and annoying. John: oh, yeah, i see him. the big, shiny one there. right? Vriska: that's the moon.

Back at the palace Eridan: again. showw me again. Rose: stops the music Eridan: mirror, mirror, showw her to me. showw me the princess. Rose: Ugh Rose: Rewinds, resumes the clip Eridan: ah. perfect.

John and Vriska: snoring, soundly asleep Kanaya, having wandered off: ♪♪ Vocalizing Some Music Kanaya: ♪♪ Music Shit Continues Davesprite: ♪♪ whistling Davesprite: ♪♪ whistling some more Kanaya: ♪♪ Sings In Time Davesprite: ♪♪ matches with whistles Kanaya: ♪♪ Vocalizes Happily Davesprite: ♪♪ whistles joyously Kanaya: ♪♪ Does Her Thing, A Bit More Intensely Davesprite: ♪♪ isn’t backing down Kanaya♪♪ Now Insanely High Pitched Davesprite: ♪♪ now it’s personal Davesprite: davesplodes

Kanaya: Is Making Some Suspiciously Orange Eggs John, sleeptalking: Mmm, yeah, you know i like it like that. John, still mumbling in his sleep: Come on, baby. i said i like it. Vriska: John, wake up. John: huh? what? Vriska: wake up. John: What? Kanaya: Good Morning. How Do You Like Your Eggs? John: Good morning, princess! Vriska: what's all this a8out? Kanaya: We Kind Of Got Off To A Bad Start Yesterday. I Wanted To Make It Up To You. After All, You Did Rescue Me. Vriska: uh, thanks? Kanaya: Well, Eat Up. Weve Got A Big Day Ahead Of Us.

Vriska, after breakfast: 8elches John: Vriska! Vriska: what? it's a compliment. 8etter out than in, i always say ::::D John: Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess. Kanaya: Belches Kanaya: Thanks. John: She's as nasty as you are. Vriska, chuckling: you know, you're not exactly what i expected. Kanaya: Maybe You Shouldn't Judge People Before You Get To Know Them. Kanaya: Starts Doing Her Singing Thing Again Kanaya: Is Swept Off Her Feet By A Random Bronze Blur Monsieur Rufioh: la l1berte! hey! Vriska: princess! Monsieur Rufioh: laughs Kanaya: What Are You Doing? Monsieur Rufioh: be st1ll, cher1e, for 1 am your sav1or! and 1 am rescu1ng you from th1s cerulean k1ssing sounds beast. Vriska: hey! that's my princess. go find your own! Monsieur Rufioh: please, monsters! can't you see 1'm a l1ttle busy here? Kanaya: Look, Pal. I Dont Know Who You Think You Are! Monsieur Rufioh: oh! of course! how rude. please let me 1ntroduce myself. oh, merry men! laughs ♪♪ accordion Merry Men, mostly Kurloz and Horuss: ♪ ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo! ♪ Monsieur Rufioh: ♪ 1 steal from the r1ch and g1ve to the needy. ♪ Kurloz: ♪ HE TAKES A WEE PERCENTAGE. ♪ Monsieur Rufioh: ♪ but 1'm not greedy. 1 rescue pretty damsels. man, 1'm good1oh. ♪ Merry Morons: ♪ what a guy, monsieur Rufioh! ♪ Monsieur Rufioh: ♪ break 1t down! Monsieur Rufioh: does an 1r1sh r1ver dance Monsieur Rufioh: ♪ 1 l1ke an honest f1ght and a saucy l1ttle ma1d. ♪ Merry Morons: ♪ what he's basically saying is he likes to get-- ♪ Monsieur Rufioh: ♪ pa1d! ♪ Merry Morons: ♪ so. ♪ Monsieur Rufioh: ♪ when an troll 1n the bush grabs a lady by the tush, that's bad. ♪ Merry Morons: ♪ that's bad. ♪ Monsieur Rufioh: ♪ when a beauty's w1th a beast 1t makes me awfully mad. ♪ Merry Morons: ♪ he's mad. he's really, really mad. ♪ Monsieur Rufioh: ♪ 1'll take my blade and ram 1t through your heart. keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause 1'm about to staaaaaaaart- Kanaya: Tarzan Yells, Swinging In And Swiftly Roundhouse Kicking Him Monsieur Rufioh: unconsc1ous, probably Kanaya: Karate Yell Merry Morons: gasping Kanaya: Man, That Was Annoying! Horuss: 8=D oh, you little-- Kanaya: Gets Back To It, Promptly Kicking Many An Ass With A Variety Of Flips, Kicks, Punches, And Matrix Times Kanaya, chuckling: Shall We? Vriska: hold the phone. Vriska: oh! whoa, whoa, whoa. hold on now. where did that come from? Kanaya: What? Vriska: that! 8ack there. that was amazing! where did you learn that? Kanaya: Well- When One Lives Alone, One Has To Learn These Things In Case Theres A-- Theres An Arrow In Your Butt! Vriska: what? oh, would you look at that? Kanaya: Oh, No. This Is All My Fault. Im So Sorry. John: Why? what's wrong? Kanaya: Vriska's Hurt. John: Vriska's hurt. oh, no, vriska's gonna die!! Vriska: John, i'm okay. John: you can't do this to me. i'm too young for you to die. keep your legs elevated. turn your head and cough. does anyone know the heimlich?!?! Kanaya: Calm Down. If You Want To Help Him, Run Into The Woods And Find Me A Blue Flower With Red Thorns. John: blue flower, red thorns. okay. i'm on it. blue flower. red thorns. Vriska, don't die. if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! Vriska: John! John: okay, okay. blue flower. red thorns. blue flower. red thorns. Vriska: what are the flowers for? Kanaya: For Getting Rid Of Him. Vriska: ah! Kanaya: Now You Hold Still, And Ill Yank This Thing Out. Kanaya: Tugs Vriska: ow! hey! easy with the yankin'. Kanaya: Im Sorry, But It Has To Come Out. Vriska: no, it's tender. now, hold on. what you're doing is the opposite of help. Kanaya: Don't Move. Vriska: look, time out. Kanaya: Would You-- grunts Okay. What Do You Propose We Do?

John, wandering through a field of blue flowers: Blue flower. red thorns. blue flower. red thorns. blue flower. red thorns. this would be so much easier, if i wasn't color-blind! John: blue flower, red thorns. Vriska: ow! John, grabbing the nearest flowers: hold on, Vriska! i'm comin'!

Vriska: ow! not good. Kanaya: Okay. Okay. I Can Nearly See The Head. Vriska: grunts in pain Kanaya: Its-- Vriska: ow! Ohh! Kanaya: Falls On Vriska In A Rom-Com Manner John: Ahem. Vriska, getting up: nothing happened. we were just, uh- - John: look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. okay? Vriska: come on! that's the last thing on my mind. the princess here was just-- ugh! Kanaya: Smugly Wiggles The Now Free Arrow Vriska: ……..owwwwwwww John: hey, what's that? John: nervous chuckle that's-- is that blood? John: faints Vriska: picks up her 8lue 8uddy

Cue a montage of them doing cutesy falling in love things, like crossing a river, absentmindedly yeeting John, catching flies with a spider’s web, and mutilating random animals for the sake of a visual gag

On the outskirts of Eridan’s place Vriska: there it is, princess. your future aw8s you. Kanaya: That's Duloc? John: yeah, i know. you know, Vviska thinks lord Eridan's compensating for something, which i think means he has a really-- John: is smacked John: Ow! Vriska: um, i, uh-- i guess we 8etter move one. Kanaya: Sure. But, Vriska? Im-- Im Worried About John. John: blubbering Vriska: what? Kanaya: I Mean, Look At Him. He Doesn't Look So Good. John: What are you talking about? i'm fine. Kanaya: That's What They Always Say, And Then Next Thing You Know, You're On Your Back. John: doesn’t get it Kanaya: Dead. John: gets it Vriska: you know, she's right. you look awful. do you want to sit down? Kanaya: Ill Make You Some Tea. John: i didn't want to say nothin', but i got this twinge in my neck, and when i turn my head like this, look. John, turning his neck like a demon: bones crunch John: Ow! see? Vriska: who's hungry? i'll find us some dinner. Kanaya: I'll Get The Firewood. John: Hey, where you goin'? oh, man, i can't feel my horns! John: ....i don't have any horns! John: i think i need a hug :(

Kanaya, over a bonfire: Mmm. Mmm. This Is Good. This Is Really Good. What Is This? Vriska: uh, weedrat. rotisserie style. Kanaya: No Kidding. Vriska: well, this is delicious. well, they're also gr8 in stews. now, i don't mean to 8rag, 8ut i make a mean weedrat stew ;;;;) Vriska: chuckling Vriska: may8e you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. i'll cook all kinds of stuff for you. swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare-- you name it. Kanaya, chuckles: I'd Like That. Vriska: um, princess? Kanaya: Yes, Vriska? Vriska: i, um, i was wondering. Vriska: are you-- Vriska: sighs are you gonna eat that? Kanaya: chuckles John: man, isn't this romantic? just look at that sunset. Kanaya: Sunset? Oh, No! I Mean, Its Late. I-Its Very Late. Vriska: what? John: wait a minute. i see what's goin' on here. you're afraid of the dark, aren't you? Kanaya: Yes! Yes, Thats It. Im Terrified. You Know, Id Better Go Inside. John: Don't feel bad, princess. i used to be afraid of the dark, too, until-- hey, no, wait. John: I'm still afraid of the dark! Vriska sighs Kanaya: Good Night. Vriska: good night... door creaks John: Ohh! now i really see what's goin' on here. Vriska: oh, what are you talkin' a8out? John: I don't even wanna hear it. look, i'm an human, and i got instincts. i know two were diggin' in each other. i could feel it. Vriska: you're crazy. i'm just 8ringing her 8ack to Eridan. John: Oh, come on, vriska. wake up and smell the pheromones. just go on in and tell her how you feel. Vriska: i-- there's nothing to tell. 8esides, even if i did tell her that, well, you know-- and i'm not sayin' i do 'cause i don't-- she's a princess, and i'm-- John: A girl? Vriska: yeah. a girl. John: Hey, where you goin'? Vriska: to get… more firewood.

Later, in the hut John: Princess? princess kanaya? princess, where are you? John: Princess? John: It's very spooky in here. i ain't playing no games. Kanaya: Appears In A Lesbian Pride Flag Cape John: screams! Kanaya: Oh, No! John: No, help! Kanaya: Shh! John: Vriska! vriska! vriska! Kanaya: No, It's Okay. It's Okay. John: Vriska, what did you do to the princess? Kanaya: John, I'm The Princess. John: Aah! Kanaya: It's Me. In This Outfit. John: Oh, my god! John: You mind controlled the princess, vriska! can you hear me? Kanaya: John! John: Listen, keep thinking! i'll get you out of there! Kanaya: No! John: Vriska! vriska! vriska! Kanaya: Shh! John: Vriska! Kanaya: Covers His Mouth Already Kanaya: This Is Me. John, muffled: Princess? John: What happened to you? you're, uh, uh, uh, different. Kanaya: I'm Into Girls, Maybe, Okay? John: Well, yeah! was it something you ate? 'cause i told Vriska those rats was a bad idea. you are what you eat, i said. Kanaya: No. I-- Ive Been This Way As Long As I Can Remember. John: what do you mean? look, i ain't never seen you like this before. Kanaya: I Only Let It Happen When The Sun Goes Down. Kanaya: "By Night One Way, By Day Another. This Shall Be The Norm, Until You Find True Loves First Kiss, And Then Take Loves True Form." John: Ah, that's beautiful. i didn't know you wrote poetry! Kanaya: Its A Spell. When I Was A Little Troll, A Witch Cast A Spell On Me. Every Night I Become This. This Horrible, Ugly Bitch! I Was Placed In A Tower To Await The Day My True Love Would Rescue Me. Thats Why I Have To Marry Lord Eridan Tomorrow, Before The Sun Sets And He Sees Me, Like This. sobs John: All right, all right. calm down. look, this sounds more like a societal pressure thing than an actual spell. John: You're also not ugly. John: Well, i ain't gonna lie, you do look like a bitch John: But you're only looking like this at night. vriska's a bitch 24-7. Kanaya: But, John, Im A Princess, And This Is Not How A Princess Is Meant To Be John: Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Eridan? Kanaya: I Have To. Only My True Loves Kiss Can Break The Spell. John: Again, i think that’s more a societal thing, but, you know, um, i think you're kind of an huge lesbian and maybe in denial, and Vriska-- well, you got a lot in common. Kanaya: Vriska? Vriska, outside, practicing: princess, i-- uh, how's going, first of all? good? um, good for me too. i'm okay. i saw this flower and thought of you 8ecause it's pretty and-- well, i don't really like it, 8ut i thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. 8ut i like you anyway. i'd-- uh, uh-- Vriska: i'm in trou8le. okay, here we go. Kanaya, inside: I Cant Just Marry Whoever I Want. Take A Good Look At Me, John. Kanaya: I Mean, Really, Who Could Ever Love A Bitch So Hideous And Nasty? "Princess" And "Nasty" Don't Go Together. Vriska: conveniently overhears that part and leaves despondent Kanaya: Thats Why I Cant Stay Here With Vriska. My Only Chance To Live Happily Ever After Is To Marry My True Love. Kanaya: Deep Sigh Kanaya: Dont You See, John? Thats Just How It Has To Be. Its The Only Way To Break The Spell. John: Not a spell, but you at least gotta tell vriska the truth. Kanaya: No! You Can't Breathe A Word. No One Must Ever Know. John: What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets? Kanaya: Promise You Won't Tell. Promise! John: All right, all right. i won't tell her. but you should. i just know before this is over, i'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. look at my eye twitchin'.

Later on Kanaya, plucking petals on a flower: I Tell Her, I Tell Her Not. I Tell Her, I Tell Her Not. Kanaya, plucking the last petal: I Tell Her! Vriska! Vriska, Theres Something I Want-- John: snoring Kanaya: Vriska. Are You All Right? Vriska: perfect! never 8een 8etter. Kanaya: I-- I Dont-- Theres Something I Have To Tell You. Vriska: you don't have to tell me anything, princess. i heard enough last night. Kanaya: You Heard What I Said? Vriska: every word. Kanaya: I Thought You'd Understand. Vriska: oh, i understand. like you said, "who could love a hideous, ugly 8east?" Kanaya: But I Thought That Wouldnt Matter To You. Vriska: yeah? well, it does. Kanaya: Sighs Dejectedly Vriska: ah, right on time. horse whinnies Vriska: princess, i've 8rought you a little something. ♪♪ fanfare John, yawning: What'd i miss? what'd i miss? John, realizing the royal guard would kill him if he doesn’t shut up, now muffled: Who said that? couldn't have been john. Eridan: princess kanaya. Vriska: as promised. now hand it over. Eridan: vvery wwell, cerulean. the deed to your swwamp, cleared out, as agreed. take it and go before i change my mind. forgivve me, princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for i havve evver seen such a radiant beauty before. i am lord eridan. Kanaya: Forgive Me, My Lord, For I Was Just Saying, A Short, Farewell. Eridan: that's so swweet. you don't havve to wwaste good manners on the bitch. it's not like it has feelings. Kanaya: No, Youre Right. It Doesn't. Eridan: princess kanaya, beautiful, fair, flawwless kanaya. i ask your hand in marriage. Eridan: gets off his high horse Kanaya: Gasps Eridan: wwill you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? Kanaya: Lord Eridan, I Accept. Nothing Would Make- Eridan: excellent! i'll start the plans, for tomorroww wwe wwed! Kanaya: No! I Mean, Uh, Why Wait? Lets Get Married Today Before The Sun Sets. Eridan: oh, anxious, are wwe? you're right. the sooner, the better. there's so much to do! there's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. captain, round up some guests! Kanaya: Fare-Thee-Well, Blue Blood. John: Vriska, what are you doing? you're letting her get away. Vriska: yeah? so what? John: Vriska, there's something about her you don't know. i talked to her last night. Vriska: i know you talked to her last night! you're gr8 pals, aren't ya? now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home? John: Vriska, i-- i wanna go with you. Vriska: i told you, didn't i? you're not coming home with me. i live alone! my swamp! me! no8ody else! understand? no8ody! especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking, Johns! John: but, i thought-- Vriska: yeah. you know what? you thought wrong! John: Vriska…

♪ hallelujah playing over a sad montage of Kanaya and Vriska slowly realizing how hollow their lives feel now that the other is gone. They are both sad and hollow. meanwhile John sits at a lake, bumping into a sad Terezi who somehow escaped the castle. he consoles her while the sad montage continues

Later, at Vriska’s hive thumping sound Vriska: John? John: grunts moving some logs around Vriska: what are you doing? John: I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you saw one. Vriska: 8ut the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it. John: It is. around your half. see, that's your half, and this is my half. Vriska: oh! your half. hmm. John: Yes, my half. i helped rescue the princess. i did half the work. i get half the booty. now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head. Vriska: gra8s the log john is moving Vriska: 8ack off! John: no, you back off. Vriska: this is my swamp! John: Our swamp! Vriska: let go, John! John: you let go! Vriska: stu88orn jackass! John: bitchy troll! Vriska: fine! Vriska: lets go of the log and storms off John: hey, come back here! i'm not through with you yet! Vriska: well, i'm through with you. John: Uh-uh. you know, with you it's always, "me, me, me!" John: Well, guess what! now it's my turn! so you just shut up and pay attention! John: You are mean to me. you insult me and you don't appreciate anything that i do! you're always pushing me around or pushing me away! Vriska: oh, yeah? well, if i treated you so 8ad, how come you came 8ack? John: Because that's what friends do! they forgive each other! Vriska: oh, yeah. you're right, John. Vriska: i forgive you Vriska: for sta88ing me in the 8ack! Vriska: slams the door on john, 8oth metaphorically and literally John: ohh! you're so wrapped up in layers, onion girl, you're afraid of your own feelings. Vriska: go aw8y! John: there you are, doing it again just like you did to Kanaya. all she ever do was like you. maybe even love you! Vriska: love me? she said i was ugly, a hideous monster. i heard the two of you talking! John: she wasn't talkin' about you! John: she was talkin' about, uh…. somebody else. Vriska, opening the metaphor door along with the literal one: she wasn't talking about me? John: Mhm Vriska: well, then who was she talking a8out? John: Nuh-uh. no way. i ain't saying anything. you don't wanna listen to me. right? right? Vriska: John! John: No! Vriska: okay, look. i'm sorry, all right? John: Hmph. Vriska, sighing: i'm sorry. i guess i am just a 8ig, stupid, ugly, 8lue-8looded 8itch. can you forgive me? John: Hey, that's what friends are for. right? Vriska: right. friends? John: Friends. Vriska: so, what did Kanaya s8y about me? John: What are you asking me for? why don't you ask her? Vriska: the wedding! we'll never make it in time. John: ha-ha-ha! never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way, and i have a way! John: whistles Vriska: John? Terezi: SHOWS UP ON 4 MOTORCYCL3 John laughing John: I guess it's just a human magnetism! Vriska, laughing: aw, come here, you! Vriska: hugs him in a genuine show of affection John: All right, all right. don't get all mushy on me. no one likes a kiss out of nowhere. all right, hop on and hold on tight. i haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet! John, laughing his ass off: WHOO!

At the church bells tolling Karkat, in a priest outfit: PEOPLE OF DULOC, THIS WEIRD AS FUCK BASS ACKWARDS SHITHOLE WE CALL HOME WE GATHER HERE TODAY, TO BEAR WITNESS, TO THE UNION… Kanaya: Um-- Of Our Now King-- Karkat: EXCUSE ME, IS THERE SOMETHING YOU’D LIKE TO SAY? Kanaya: Could We Just Skip Ahead To The "I Dos"? Eridan, chuckling: go on.

John, Vriska and Terezi arriving on the scene John: go ahead, have some fun. if we need you, i'll whistle. how about that? John: Vriska, wait, wait! wait a minute! you wanna do this right, don't you? Vriska: what are you talking a8out? John: there's a line you gotta wait for. the preacher's gonna say, "speak now or forever hold your peace." that's when you say, "i o8ject!" Vriska: i don't have time for this! John: wait. what are you doing? listen to me! John, bodyblocking Vriska: Look, you love this woman, don't you? Vriska: yes. John: you wanna hold her? Vriska: yes. John: please her??? Vriska: yes! John, singing once again: ♪ Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness! ♪ John: the chicks love that romantic crap! Vriska: all right! cut it out. when does this guy say the line? John: we gotta check it out. Vriska: yeets john for narr8ive reasons so he can look inside the church Karkat: AND SO, BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME FOR SOME GOD FORSAKEN REASON… Vriska: what do you see? John: the whole town's in there! Vriska: yeets him again Karkat: I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU TWO BLIGHTS ON THE WORLD HUSBAND AND WIFE… John: they're at the altar. Vriska: tosses him once more Karkat: KING AND QUEEN OF THIS PILE OF SHIT. John: mother fletcher! he already said it. Vriska: oh! for the love of pete! Vriska: drops john Vriska, busting into the church: i o8ject!!!!!!!! Kanaya: Vriska? The Crowd: le gasps

Eridan: oh, noww wwhat does she wwant? The Crowd: cheering on Vriska Vriska: hi, everyone. havin' a good time, are ya? i love duloc, first of all. very clean! Kanaya: What Are You Doing Here? Eridan: really, it's rude enough being alivve wwhen no one wwants you, but showwing up uninvvited to a wwedding-- Vriska: kanaya! i need to talk to you. Kanaya: Oh, Now You Wanna Talk? Its A Little Late For That, So If You'll Excuse Me- Vriska: 8ut you can't marry him! Kanaya: And Why Not? Vriska: 8ecause- 8ecause he's just marrying you so he can 8e king! Eridan: outrageous! kan, don't listen to her. Vriska: he's not your true love. Kanaya: And What Do You Know About True Love? Vriska: well, i- Vriska: uh- Vriska: i mean-- Eridan: oh, this is precious. Eridan, chuckling: the bitch has fallen in lovve with the princess! oh, good lord! Gamzee: WrItEs A cUe CaRd ReAl QuIcK The Crowd: is laughing Eridan: a backwwater troll and a princess! laughing continues Kanaya: Vriska? Is This True? Eridan: wwho cares? it's preposterous! kanaya, my lovve, wwe're but a kiss awway from our "happily evver after." noww, kiss me! mmmm! Kanaya, whispering: "By Night One Way, By Day Another." Kanaya: Fucking Busts Out Every Bit Of Gay Apparel And Paraphernalia She Just Happened To Be Hiding Under Her Dress Kanaya: I Wanted To Show You Before. crowd gasping Vriska: well, uh, that expl8ns a lot! Eridan: ugh! she’s disgusting! felts! felts! i order you to get that out of my sight noww! get them! get them both! The Felt: starts manhandling them Kanaya: No, No! Vriska! Eridan: this hocus-pocus alters nothing. this marriage is binding, and that makes me king! Eridan, putting the crown on his head: see? see?? Kanaya: No, Let Go Of Me, Vriska! Vriska: no! Eridan: don't just stand there, you morons. Vriska: get out of my way! kanaya! aaaaaaaarrgh! Eridan: i'll make you regret the day wwe met. i'll see you drawwn and quartered! you'll beg for death to savve you! Kanaya: No! Vriska! Eridan: and as for you, my wwife, Vriska: Kanaya! Eridan: i'll have you locked back in that towwer for the rest of your days! Eridan: i am king! Vriska: whistles Eridan: i will have order! i will have perfection! i will have-- Terezi: R1D3S 1N W1TH JOHN, US1NG H3R MOTORCYCL3 TO K1CK 3R1D4N OUT 4 W1NDOW Eridan: noooooo! John: All right! nobody move, i got a Terezi here, and i'm not afraid to use it! Terezi: RO4RS John: I'm a windsock on the edge! Terezi: R3VS TH3 MOTOR 4S SH3 C4TCH3S 3R1D4NS CROWN John, laughing: Celebrity marriages. they never last, do they? The Crowd: cheers John: Go ahead, Vriska. Vriska: uh, kanaya? Kanaya: Yes, Vriska? Vriska: i-- i love you. Kanaya: Really? Vriska: really, really. Kanaya: I Love You Too Vriska and Kanaya: Kiss Gamzee: WrItEs AnOtHeR cUe CaRd FoR sWoOnInG Everyone: aawww! Kanaya: Starts Glowing, Like A Lightbulb, Now Fully Embracing Her Gayness Vriska: kanaya? kanaya. are you all right? Kanaya: Well, Yes. But I Dont Understand. Im Supposed To Be Beautiful. Vriska: 8ut you are 8eautiful. Kanaya: chuckles John: I was hoping there would be a happy ending. Vriska: puts her hand over the script as we pan to her hive

Dave: starts singing “i'm a believer” by smash mouth as kanaya and vriska have a proper wedding this time

The Fucking End

Housekid AU Part 4

Part 1 here Part 2 here Part 3 here

Idea: Casita raises Mirabel

(Reblog for Part 5! Sorry this took long; School punched me in the gut and had us have the 3rd Mastery Test 2 weeks after the First Day of class when even our LMS is still desert empty. Hope you enjoy!)

When Aang asked, “But why would I choose cosmic energy over Katara?”

and when Hakoda told his daughter, “You and your brother are my entire world”

and when Katara said, “I thought you didn’t want to help” and Sokka replied, “You need me, and I will never turn my back on you”

and when Toph asked, “Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?” and Aang replied, “I don’t see why not”

and when Sokka said, “It’s Suki!” and later she said, “I knew you’d come”

and when Mai looked Azula in the eye and declared, “Because I love Zuko more than I fear you” and then Ty Lee saved her a moment later without a second thought

and when Iroh grabbed Zuko in a hug before he could even finish his apology and told him “I was never angry with you.  I was sad because I was afraid you lost your way” 

and when Aang turned to Zuko when the battle was finally over and said, “And now we’re friends” and Zuko agreed with a look that was almost akin to wonder, “Yeah, we are”

…that’s love !!

Alsooo, when Katara brought Aang out of the avatar state within a couple days of knowing him by saying, “The airbenders may be gone now, but you still have a family.  Sokka and I, we’re your family now”

and when Aang realized the crazy king of omashu was actually his old friend from a hundred years before and said, “Bumi, you’re a mad genius”

and when the gaang was stranded in the desert without Appa and Katara declared “We’re getting out of this desert, and we’re going to do it together!” 

and when Katara turned to Toph and said “I know it doesn’t matter, but you’re really pretty”

and when the last two Freedom Fighters stood guard as Jet was dying underneath Lake Laogai and Longshot said, “We’ll take care of him.  He’s our leader.”

and when Aang buried his face in Appa’s fur for the first time in weeks and said, “I missed you buddy”

…that’s love too !!

When Sokka held on to Toph’s hand as she dangled over the edge of the airship for as long as he could, even if it meant he’d be killed too.

When the entire Gaang greated Sokka with an ecstatic group hug when he came back from training with Piandao.

When Kya told Yon Ra that she was the last waterbender, knowing she would be imprisoned or worse, to save Katara.

When Bato helped Sokka and Katara fulfill their right of passage in Hakoda’s absence.

When Aang, when he needed a Fire Nation alias, named himself after one of his old best friends.

When Toph asked Katara to help her write to her parents because, despite everything, she still missed them and wanted them to know she was happy and well.

When Zuko faced Ozai in prison, not to gloat or parade his victory, but to learn about his mother.

When Ty Lee, risking imprisonment or worse, defended Mai against Azula.

Just…this show…so full of every conceivable form of love…

Atla will always be one of the best things ever 💙

Can I be honest, I think if we went back in time and told that “MYRRH-DER” “*gasp* Judas! No!” joke to a group of medieval peasants they would completely and utterly lose their shit. They would be grabbing each other and crying with laughter. idk I just love the thought of a joke created through a modern, 21st century medium being accessible and enjoyable for devout practising Catholics hundreds of years ago

You’d be burned as a heretic, but sure, imagine they’d laugh.

No, you really wouldn’t.

When I wrote this post I specifically had in mind the liturgical plays enjoyed by medieval folks, especially from the 14th century onwards. These plays were once performed at liturgies, in Latin, under the direction of the priest or bishop, but later became plays that were enjoyed on the village green, recited in English, and performed and produced by players. Gradually, more and more comedic and farcical elements crept into the plays, because that’s what audiences loved and demanded.

They would tell the lives of saints and Bible stories such as the Fall of Man, Noah’s Ark and the Nativity. Because plays were enjoyed at carnivals and because religious spirit and merrymaking aren’t incompatible, certain characters became humorous and stereotyped. For example, Noah’s wife was a shrew who would smack her husband to get him into the ark, Herod was a ludicrous, blustering tyrant and poor old Joseph was particularly derided and used as comic relief, especially in the Nativity plays. Apparently, being cuckolded by God was not the way to appeal to a medieval man, though he would gain respect after the Reformation.

In the context that medieval peasants watched and loved ribald and slightly irreverent liturgical plays, something that would later evolve into the English stage as we know it in Shakespeare, it is entirely accurate and harmless to think that during a Nativity play the last wise man might say “I bring thee myrr…” and after Jospeh has thanked him, he would unmask to reveal his red hair (sorry guys Judas was ginger) and exclaim “MYRR-DRE!” causing Joseph to gasp and cry “JUDAS!! NAY!!” and probably trip over himself falling backwards, to the unparalleled surprise and delight of the devout medieval peasants who, guess what, still have a damn sense of humour.

i read some medieval mystery plays this semester. there’s one where mary, having pregnancy cravings, is like “oh, husband, won’t you go get me some cherries from that tree there?”

and joseph basically says “eh, that tree is really tall and I don’t want to. how about you ask the guy that got you knocked up to get you the cherries?”

and the tree ~miraculously bends down~~ so she can eat them

and joseph is like “well shit”

“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”

i thought this was me at first and i was really confused

omg hi

WE’RE MULTIPLYING

uhhhhhhh

I FINALLY FOUND IT

Found what?

This Legendary post

This post is a gem and you have to reblog it or else you lose it

Someone confirm that these are all different people.

it’s here it’s on my dash!!

seeing ancient tumblr posts in the flesh rather than in screenshots has the same energy as seeing an infamous relic in a museum for the first time

I made another 'please stop destroying my house' toy

i wanted to reblog this as an awesome example of a homemade puzzle toy! i know we’ve linked to a lot of buyable puzzle toys, but even if you’re on a budget you can make something great at home with stuff you have on hand. this whole thing is made with cardboard so it’s fine if your cat chews on it and there are lots of nooks and crannies to put treats or dry kibble in!

Peter Hale from Teen Wolf is going to super hell for queer crimes, murder and being a dilf!!!

requested by: @your-mighty-words-astound-me

Housekid AU Part 3

Part 1 here

Part 2 here

Idea: Casita raises Mirabel

Housekid AU Part 2

Part 1 here

Idea: Casita raises Mirabel

When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl

Did I reblog this already I dont care

Reposting this a a victim of sexual abuse from my brother

Reblogging as a victim of rape by a close friend.

Reblogging because my sister, mother, and friends have all been used without permission.

CONSENT.CONSENT.CONSENT.REMEMBER THAT SHIT!

Consent. Always.

reblogging for my mom

rebloging for my best friend who was 13 and said no but the 20 something yo ignored her

she told me about a few months after bc she was scared of telling anyone and we cried so hard as held her

he’s still out there walking free and we know she probably wasn’t the first or the last but nobody would believe it

Rebloging for my 5 year old self

reblogging for my 17 year old self.

Reblogging for my younger self and many of my friends…

And sincerely apologizing as a trans man on behalf of the very few men that give a fuck. I’ll happily go to the police with you any time. Day. Middle of the night. Whenever. 🖤

Reblogging for my 13 year old self, my 18 year old self and my mom at 14.

Fuck these abusers and assholes who think they’re entitled to people’s bodies and fuck everyone who victim blames, victim shames and doesn’t believe in us. Fuck the people who excuse the abuse. Fuck the system that allows for shit like this to happen. But most of all, fuck the people who raised their children so wrongly that they don’t respect boundaries and consent.

Consent. Always.

Reblogging for my 5 year old self, my 12 year old self, for my sister when she was 4, and for my friend who had to move bc of her uncle

Reblogging for my mother and for my former friend.

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

“You’d be surprised”, said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely “men can’t be raped” anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.

Yowch, disgusting.

If I don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead.

Always reblog this

If you Dont reblog this if u see it then i cant call u my friend

IF ANYONE TELLS ME THAT MEN CAN’T BE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND RAPE, I AM SICKENED BY THEIR MERE PRESENCE ON MY BLOG.

If you disagree with me, unfollow my blog, block me and never look at my blog again.

If you want to debate about this or send anon’s about this, I will reply but your actions have consequences.

Out of 19000+ followers I have, only one of you actually reblogged about this issue, yet a lot of you have reblogged and liked a picture by playboy about catcalling and that how men should never do it.

Additionally, I have received abuse in my ask box (which I will be answering when I can) and threats. In particular death threats and rape threats.

I can see the real problem here already. Male domestic violence and rape is just invisible in our society because we don’t want to talk about this because it just damages the status quo of this fucking website.

I’m a male victim of child sexual abuse. We matter. Please, reblog this.

Please never forget male victims are real and it can happen to everyone/anyone

I’m a boy , and when i was younger I was sexually assaulted every damn day for three years by my younger step SISTER, So don’t go saying that ‘boys can’t be raped’ bull shit

This is so important. That kinda shit can happen to everybody

Anybody can be raped, and anybody can be a rapist

I give a fuck about all victims of fucking everything. Reblog to signal boost.

1,700,000 + notes and reblogs.

Protect and support your male friends always.

Almost 200 people were murdered in Armenia in 3 days and y'all are still ignoring us.

This is not a war, this is a massacre Azerbaijan and Turkey are committing against the Armenian people.

Turkey's president literally admitted that he wants to finish what his ancestors started. He wants to commit another genocide, and this time he wants to kill us all.

Silence is violence

Update: it's been over a month. 2 thousand people were murdered so far. Please, I'm so scared, just reblog this. I'm not asking for a lot, if you can't donate that's fine, just share this.

If anyone knows where TO donate please interact?!

If you're willing to donate, here is the link:

@rock-and-roll-and-rats Thank you so much, I'm so grateful

Miraculous Crossover: Lobotomy Corp (Lukanette)

“Let’s see…” Marinette looked down at the pamphlet in her grip, carefully rereading the information on the abnormality she had been assigned to. The pamphlet in question, marked by the Lobotomy Corp logo, was all the information currently available on the abnormality she was about to encounter…and just may save her life.

The latest abnormality was a snake-like being. Risk level was HE due to lack of hostile behavior or attempts to breach containment. Energy production output was yet to be determined. Abilities unknown. 

…this wasn’t helpful at all!

She had been a member of the Safety Team for a few months now, and she felt she was getting the hang of it. She wasn’t dead, at least. And to the contrary, she had even helped in various situations to prevent problems and protected her fellow workers! She had survived a number of previous altercations, subdued abnormalities, and utilized EGO with a skill that impressed her superiors. She had handled a number of problems! She could handle this, too!

She nodded and entered the containment unit.

“Hello! Um…Viperion, right?”

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