Nerds

not watching baseball and realizing they’re evolving at breakneck speeds

He fucking Michael Jackson slid

I for one, think style points should be awarded

i flipping hate ao3's layout there's too many goddamn words

you know what i deserve this

toni & shelby + touch

“I know sexual tension when i see it” 

honestly? im done with the lies. being little spoon fuckign sucks okay? it really does. its hot and sweaty and cramped and you better believe that arm wrapped around you is gunna go from “acceptable foreign weight” to “there is a literal blue whale colony collapsed atop you” in about 2 minutes flat. yall forreal want a FLESH BLANKET encasing you??? a goddamn slab prison of human skin and Person Tissue draped across your corporeal form??? find a God and grovel for redemption.

being big spoon though? divine. precious. it grants the sensation of being a benevolent egg white, swaddled loosely within your blanket shell as you in turn cradle the precious yolk within your grasp. you are a sublime deity of warmth and comfort, one who may bestow your blessing on any mortal you deem fit. an unparalleled joy to perform.

and you can grab a tit ty

can yall please stop reblogging this post i made after eating three entire packages of marshmallow peeps washed down with a near-deadly amount of nyquil 

Just say you’re a top and move on OP

my dad ate a cucumber today and he was like “wow this is pretty cold” and then he just slowly put the cucumber down and stared into space for a really long time until he turned to me with wide eyes and quietly said, “oh my god. cool as a cucumber.” 

I love fan fiction. Everyone’s like “if the writers won’t make them gay then I will”

2.04 / 4.14

#bring addison and callie back

we rlly went from 20gayteen to 20biteen to 20quarantine

fun fact: the word quarantine comes from quarantena, meaning “forty days”, used in 14th-15th-century Venetian language (the period that all ships were required to be isolated before passengers and crew could go ashore during the Black Death plague)

so 2020, or 20 + 20 = quarantine

dammit, we should’ve seen this coming

well you know what they say about hindsight

It’s quarantine.

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