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Boba Fett’s Bimbo Trophy Wife

@chemtrail-mix

Em/28/Latina/Bi
18+/NSFW/Minors DNI
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The Courtesan

“Din couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘Are you asking me to steal you from Castor Vesta?’

‘Not steal, buy.’ Rania crawled out of her bed and grabbed a small, but heavy chest from under it. She opened it to reveal the contents inside. ‘Break me out of my contract.’”

A courtesan pays a Mandalorian bounty hunter to smuggle her off-world.

*takes place about two years B. G. (Before Grogu)

Pairing: Din Djarin/OFC

Rating: E

18+, minors DNI

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Oh boy, first fanfic in a minute. All the warnings are detailed in the link.

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buffskeleton

the first conversation between vader and leia in anh is So funny like it implies a lot about the previous times they’ve met

Not only has Darth Vader been repeatedly thwarted by a teenage girl, he considers her nothing less than a serious and worthy adversary. Darth Vader leaned in. 

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voidartisan
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niobiumao3

I love how Rogue One leverages this big time, like you get the feeling this is just the latest in a series of audacious escapades he’s tried to catch her at, and this time, THIS TIME, he GOT HER!! Except she doesn’t have the thing, she handed it off somehow, and he’s finally had it, he’s done.

“Where are the plans.”

“Plans? I have no idea what you mean–”

“I JUST WATCHED YOUR SHIP LAUNCH OUT OF ANOTHER SHIP AND FLEE THE SCENE OF AN ATTACK ON AN IMPERIAL ARCHIVE”

“wow you sound upset”

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reblogged

OH MY GODDDDDDD

OMFG IM LOSING MY MIND AT THIS PASSAGE FROM YOUR FIC. Him begging and pleading mugh I liiiiiiiiiive. 😭😭😭😭 if you made her a dancer I would lose my mind in a good way 💀 I need to make this man weak bc he's so bad!! He's a bad, bad man Salome! 😭😭😭

And hehe you're not creepy at all. I'm telling you now: the vast, vast majority of us are neurodivergent nerds whose special interest happens to be belly dancing. I think grounding this fantasy in reality and lived experience is honestly wayyy funnier, at least to me since so much of this is based on things that have actually happened to me and my friends/colleagues. Believe me when I say there's a lot to work with. 💀 Which is also compelling me to write you once again because this idea now has me in a fucking chokehold but I don't have time to turn it into beautiful prose shdbdjdbdb so here are some handy dandy things I've been thinking about:

-first of all i love the parallels of his call sign vs her stage name it's just v important to me hehehehehe I'm OBSESSED

-CW: cheating, abuse, murder.

maybe bc it's the holidays I feel like expanding on my own characterization of König (based loosely on my own family history to boot 💀). So his father was absolute cad of a man. Just a real scoundrel, but generally not in a violent way. He was a jovial, funny, charming man, who also just so happened to be a serial cheater. He stayed with König's mother because he primarily wanted a cook and a maid, someone dependable he could return to after days of going out and womanizing. Like König, giving gifts was his love language, and he barely tried to hide the ones he'd get for his mistresses. Whenever König's mother would catch a stray receipt or a gift around the house, his father would always try to appease both her and König with gifts. The Christmas season was often the most painful time. When he was a very small boy, he'd cry and beg his father not to leave, sometimes clinging onto his leg as he headed out the door. Please, please stay, he'd be good, he promised. As he got older, he learned that tears and pleading were pointless. And although it didn't hurt any less, he tried to comfort himself with whatever gifts his father gave him. Meanwhile his mother usually spent Christmas sobbing on the couch by the tree. One year, just as he was beginning his growth spurt, his dad came stumbling in, drunk as a skunk, fresh from Christmas dinner with his latest mistress's family, when his mother gets up from the couch. They got into a verbal altercation, and the one time his dad got violent with her, he pushed his mom against the wall. Not even the sounds of the newest video game his dad had bought him could drown out that sound. König rushed over and pushed his dad away, crying for him to leave his poor mother alone. In return, his father punched him square in the jaw, leaving a nasty bruise where fist met flesh. König's world was reeling at first, but then his shock and hurt turned into rage, which turned into sheer, unrelenting resolve. His father was going to pay. König stared at his father with daggers in his eyes as he stumbled to bed.

A few days later, König found himself following his worthless father to another shitty little hotel where he was going to meet this little mistress. He'd dawned a mask he'd made out of one of his T-shirts, and was stalking his father closely from in between alleys and behind passersby. He eventually stopped by a rather grimy looking little hotel. As he lit a cigarette, König wrestled him into the nearest alley, his hand over his mouth, before stabbing him repeatedly with his mother's kitchen knife. It was the first time König truly went into full berserker mode. All he could see was the fear and pain in his mother's eyes as the rest of his world went white. When his father took his last breath, he fled the scene. His mother was devastated when she received the news of her husband's passing, but she pretended not to notice the flecks of blood on her son's ratty t shirt, or the fact that the kitchen knife looked unusually shiny and clean. Her son had been home the whole night sleeping soundly in his bed, after all. It would appear to have been a botched mugging, and no one looked into it any further.

It's for this reason that König has so many attachment and abandonment issues, but it also explains his obsessive expressions of love and lust. In his mind, a cheater is one of the worst, most disgusting things you can be, especially as a man. Women, especially the woman you love, are meant to be admired and worshipped and adored, not used and tossed out like a piece of garbage. He wanted someone he could be completely and utterly devoted to.

-I'm obsessed with the idea of dancer being an extremely driven, goal-oriented person. She was an overachiever since childhood, and is a bit of workaholic tbh. A lot of dancers teach and perform as their second job and Dancer is no exception. Between performing and teaching and learning and professional development, she doesn't really have time to date people. The few dates she does go on never go anywhere. Most of her dates are intimidated by her ambition or lose interest because she's so busy. They quickly realize that dating a belly dancer isn't exactly the draw they expected it to be. Dancer loves what she does, but she's often lonely, and wishes she had someone other than her cat to hold at night. :(

-the night of the wedding, as she's getting home, she can't stop thinking about him. This large behemoth of a man who helped her put her things in her car. he was rather handsome, and he was clearly a gentleman. She feels terrible that she didn't even remember him being at the wedding. There were so many guests. She didn't even get a chance to learn his name. :(:(

-when König is stalking her social media, he watches and re-watches every, and I mean literally every post she's ever made on her Instagram. Even if it's just a tutorial video, or a video of her not dancing at all but announcing an event, he watches, if only just to hear the sound of her voice. He goes to her YouTube channel, which has barely cracked 200 subscribers and watches every single video, going back years. He's completely enchanted by her, by the passion that oozes out of her, by the way her beautiful smile reaches her eyes whenever she's dancing, by the roll and sway of her body as she moves, the gentle jiggle of her flesh. Any idea of being subtle and sneaky is completely lost on him as he goes through and likes every single one of her posts. He fantasizes about snatching her off of stage and burying his face under her skirt into her sweet pussy, grabbing desperately at her breasts, and he cums harder than he ever has in his whole life.

-Dancer is doing her nightly routine when she notices a bunch of notifications go off on her phone. It's not unusual to for dancers with public profiles like hers so get their share of bots and occasional creeps. Then she notices a single comment from that same user:

"You're an angel."

Looks like it's another creep after all, but a creep who likes and comments? Engagement, baby! He's not the first and he won't be the last. So she'll allow him to stick around. Something to note about creeps, usually they're pretty far away and so dancers don't tend to dwell on the danger they might present. This one, however, is different. Because he just to happens to live in the same town as her, and she's always posting about what events she'll be performing at. 😈

-the hookah lounge is not as busy as it usually is, but the show must go on. She flits around the shisha cafe floor. some people offer her kind smiles and a few tips but many are more interested in smoking and talking to their friends than watching her. That's fairly normal and she doesn't take it too personally. Then she flits around one corner in the far end of the lounge and her heart skips, because there, of all people, is the gigantic man who helped her with her equipment, sitting at a table by himself and nursing an ale.

-König's insides are twisted up a mix of pure lust and rage. Lust because this beautiful dancer is before him in the flesh once again. Rage because he can't believe the audacity of his fellow customers. These fools, many of them university students, are so absorbed in themselves and in each other that they're not paying attention of the beautiful creature dancing before them. They wouldn't know a goddess if she hit them in the face. They don't deserve to lay their eyes on her. They don't deserve to breathe her air.

-Dancer moves closer to him and shimmies in playful recognition. He may be still be a stranger to her but what a coincidence! The man is staring intensely at her, but with a playful, knowing, small smile on his lips and she smiles brightly back at him. She doesn't intend to linger there so she can work the rest of the floor but he hands her a €20 bank note as a tip. It's a welcome change from the fives she usually gets. Heat rushes to her cheeks and she mouths a warm "thank you" to him before moving away.

-One young man, a university student who's clearly had a few too many, stumbles over and drunkenly stuffs a banknote into Dancer's belt. He guffaws and ambles victoriously back to his friends. König practically has steam coming out of his ears. This insolent fool, how dare he? Who does he think that he can put his grubby hands on this beautiful woman, on HIS woman? It would be so easy to crush his skull in one hand, to gut him like a pig, to turn his bones into jewelry that he could give to his beautiful Dancer. His rage subsides when she sashays back over to his side of the lounge. She looks at him with a bemused smile and König swears he saw the slightest roll of her eyes. Dancer does a slow, wide hip circle as she looks as she holds his gaze and König feels pins and needles everywhere and the rush of blood down below. To him, it's her way of telling him that she's his and his alone.

-Dancer is breathless after her set. She'd never, NEVER acted that boldly for a viewer before. Especially not someone who was alone. It's something that was simply not done. But then again, he was practically a friend, right? A friend whose name she still didn't know, but a friend all the same. She changes into her regular clothes in the owner's office and heads out to the main floor, trying to see if she can find him and say hello. But he's gone from his table. The owner taps her on the shoulder and hands her an envelope. He tells her that the man in the far end of the lounge left this for her. Dancer heads outside to leave and opens the envelope. Her jaw is nearly on the floor. It's €200. That's enough to help her with the workshop series she was trying to attend. She unintentionally squeals and laughs in delight. Dancer looks around outside and can't find him. She's sad that he's gone and can't thank him.

-but he's not truly gone of, of course, because König is watching her from the alley across the street, his face swathed in the darkness of his hood, watching his little Dancer burst with happiness. He wanted to make her this happy every single day for the rest of their lives. He wanted to draw a cry of pleasure from her lips all the time. It looked like it was going well so far.

-later that night, Dancer is curled up in her bed, reading off her tablet when she gets a message on her instagram again. Lo and behold, it's from that creep who was liking all of her posts. Dancer shakes her head and decides to read it out of curiosity. Surely it must be him calling her a floozy for not answering him. But it isn't. Her heart stops and her face gets warm. The message reads:

"Hello, my beautiful angel. I hope you enjoyed your gift. ❤️"

So there it is. The creep and the handsome, chivalrous giant are one and the same.

Believe it or not, I have EVEN MORE bc the brainrot has taken over but I've already written a goddamn tome in these asks so I'll leave you be for now 💀 happy holidays!!! ❤️

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First of all so sorry I made you wait this long!!! In a way I wanted to keep this treasure to myself for a while and roll in it and chew on it and gnaw it around the edges until it's full of drool and love bites because it's so goddamn SWEET. This is like the perfect premise 😭😭😭

And God, the Frank Frazetta vibes I get from the bellydancer!reader? Look!!!:

And König is so nasty, he could just devour this whole woman right this second, forgets to play the gentleman at some point and turns into a nasty freak for sure. Both worships her and can't stand how goddess-like she is. Makes her forget she even has a name when he finally gets to hit.

By that time, she's too deep in it to get out, she didn't know what she got herself into when she accepted the friend requests and follows at her other social media... Now she's got a number one fan who's turned into a bit of an obsessive creep and won't leave her alone. Not that she doesn't love attention but some things are just raging red flags by now...

Also can I bring it back to König's childhood for a bit, I don't know if you were on board back when I wrote for yandere!König but he had daddy and mommy issues too lol. It's so perfect to imagine that he had an abusive and/or cheating dad + a distant, fragile mom, I'm 100% sure he got those nasty fantasies and bad relationship patterns from there, thirst for unrequited impossible love, need to save his girl from monsters (and becoming a monster in the process himself) etc, König's actions are driven by both his dreams and fears </3

Thank you so much for this!!! And so much love to your new year! I must say I would still read a full fic of this written by you 😭❤️💋 (also sorry my asks are closed for now because I'm busy and things have been piling up but please come back–if you want–when they're open again! *on my knees sobbing and begging*)

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S A L O ME

HFHAOEFUOEAFHQOIFHIOQEFIHOFW I’m so honored also Frank Frazetta omfg?/? Pulpy erotica from the mid-late twentieth century is my guilty pleasure and Frazetta is the king so I’m literally honored that you get these vibes?

Idk if you’re familiar but Janet Bazaldua is a Mexican pulp/comic artist and I get König/belly dancer reader vibes from her work too like:

The absolute devotion and and obsession with the dudes especially like is that König or is that König???

I’m so honored that you love this so much and believe me when I say that I have an absolutely shocking amount of notes about this written down. I doubt this will turn into a full fic bc I barely have time between Adult Obligations and well, belly dancing IRL 😙 but I’m so glad I have at least one person who wants to hear the thought that have infected my sick brain. Like ugh, she’s such a goddess to him and he wants to both possess her and protect her so bad. And because dancer is little Miss Independent whose priority is dance, she’s gonna try to avoid the traps of falling too hard too fast—especially with a guy who’s shown…a few too many red flags. But as we all know, König LIVES for the thrill of the hunt. 😈

And yesssss, König definitely has a bit of a hero complex when it comes to people he loves. While it’s nice to believe that König and his mom lived happily ever after without his father, it’s never that simple, is it? Humans are messy and complicated after all. The whole night really fucks König’s head up even further and his mom likely dates a few other dirtbags before reaching a place of some healing. To add even more random backstory, I like to imagine that they had some neighbors, an older gay couple who occasionally made small talk with the family until after König killed his dad. Maybe as his mom is on her healing journey, even while working through her mistakes, she’s able to form community with them and they become like uncles to König slowly over time. Trying to be good role models for him and encouraging him to be a gentleman (to varying degrees of success 🥴). They found out König is wooing this gorgeous lady, they’re delighted, they ask when they get to meet his girlfriend, König: as soon as she finds out that she’s my girlfriend, neighbor-uncles: 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

But rest assured, when you open your asks again I will be more than happy to share what I have bc I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO KNOW

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saga-ordsmed

I know there are some jokes around how awkward Rex can be, but have you considered that his awkwardness could come from struggling with anxiety he develops while serving under Anakin's command?

I think it's fair to assume that repeatedly witnessing his general lashing out in fear, frustration, or anger makes Rex hypervigilant about other people's moods and, hence, having a hard time to unwind in company.

He's always observing, constantly expecting another outburst, prepared to calm Anakin down when it happens. As the highest-ranking clone in the 501st, he perceives it as part of his responsibility to ensure his general is mentally and emotionally fit for duty. For the sake and safety of his brothers. He does his best to shield them from Anakin's mood swings because there's no point in having them worry, too. They need to believe and trust in their leader. He does his best to shield Ahsoka because she's a child.

He's obsessing over learning what can set Anakin off, anticipate an outburst, and possibly avert them. He grows overly aware of his own behavior and word choice in Anakin's presence to not become an additional source of stress because it would be devastating if his general couldn't trust him, right?

Rex keeps Anakin's secrets, protecting the forbidden relationship between him and Padmé. He's coming up with excuses to cover up their private meetings and conversations and steps in to dispel suspicion wherever they encounter him.

Sometimes, Rex lies awake at night, overthinking all the ways other people could've figured out what's going on between his general and one of the most influential senators of the Republic and what he can do to prevent it from happening. If it hasn't already... Because how will Anakin react when it does (it will eventually, right?)? What's becoming of the 501st?

In addition to (being forced to) fight a war, of course.

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mollyjames

Tumblr, buddy, listen to me. This is an unprecedented opportunity. You can snap up all of the pie here, and become defacto internet goodguy easy. All you gotta do is... drop the nsfw ban. Unambiguously. Announce that dicks are back on the menu. You want people subscribed the blogs? You want people to actually use your Post+ function? Porn. Let us use it for porn. The youngins aren't joining this site anyway, you're not competing with tiktok. The vaguely horny 20-40 demographic though? You can have that. You can have all of that. Think about it.

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“If anyone needs to go camping in my state…” “If anyone needs to visit their aunt/cousin/friend…”

STOP. STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP.

FOR YOUR SAFETY, S T O P.

DO NOT VOLUNTEER TO HOST RANDOM STRANGERS. DO NOT AGREE TO BE HOSTED BY A RANDOM STRANGER.

DO NOT PUBLICLY POST THAT YOUR HOUSE WILL BE AN ABORTION SAVE HAVEN. OFFICIAL NETWORKS TO DO THIS ALREADY EXIST, NETWORKS THAT HAVE THE ABILITY TO BACKGROUND CHECK, AND SHIELD THEIR VOLUNTEERS FROM LAW ENFORCEMENT

I know how obnoxious this is to say, but please: reblog this. I see these posts a lot, and I know most of you have good intentions. But these unoffical auntie networks are dangerous, both for those trying to help, and those seeking help. Law enforcement sees you. Violent anti-abortion extremists see you.

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reblogged

The Courtesan

“Din couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘Are you asking me to steal you from Castor Vesta?’

‘Not steal, buy.’ Rania crawled out of her bed and grabbed a small, but heavy chest from under it. She opened it to reveal the contents inside. ‘Break me out of my contract.’”

A courtesan pays a Mandalorian bounty hunter to smuggle her off-world.

*takes place about two years B. G. (Before Grogu)

Pairing: Din Djarin/OFC

Rating: E

18+, minors DNI

—————————

Oh boy, first fanfic in a minute. All the warnings are detailed in the link.

Chapter 12 is up yipeeeeeee 😶

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reblogged

Something I’ve kinda been thinking about is that The Children of the Watch definitely follow The Resol’nare much more closely than Death Watch proper. So even though Jaster Mereel was fighting against Death Watch, I feel like TCoTW would have a much more positive look on Mereel than other Death Watch members, and especially more than Kryze’s resistance/Death Watch faction, given the whole Supercommando Codex is based on the Resol’nare.

Like maybe they have a few stories about him, because he was the Mand’alor, and idk i just feel like even though they were apart of Death Watch I feel like B*-K*t*n has such a distaste for Din+ TCoTW because they were more neutral and just trying to preserve the Old Ways and again with the whole Codex thing I just feel like they’d look upon Mereel with favor, maybe like a folk hero.

Anyway, imagine Din and Boba having a conversation about how they were raised, with Boba explaining that his Dad wanted to uphold his adoptive father’s legacy, saying his name and all that. Din fanboys like “Wait, your father’s founder was Jaster Mereel? The Jaster Mereel?” And Boba goes on to tell him all the stories Jango told him about his adoptive Grandfather, and Din in return told Boba the legends his people had about him.

And maybe one legend involves Jaster fighting off and killing a Jedi with his bare hands. Boba laughs, and explains that Jaster didn’t do that, his father Jango did, and it was six Jedi, not one.

And Din has 1000X more respect for Boba and for Clan Fett afterwards.

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