you're gonna go far, kid

when we're done booping i think tumblr should bring back porn

chapter 1/?

Dale Cooper/Reader

Summary: Agent Cooper is saddled with a new partner–against his better judgment. She’s a mess–aimlessly stumbling her way through the FBI with a past shrouded in mystery. Grappling with this change, and a puzzling case in a small town, Cooper’s lost. He finds the path forward in the last way he’d expect. 

word count: 2,605

A/N: woah new fic! this is sort of my side project while I work on cloudy day, but it'll still have semi-regular updates! super self indulgent because I love twin peaks, even if everyone had moved on LOL. hope u enjoy <3 as with all my writing, special thanks to @lightning-writes

It's important to read to your kids but not too much lest they start saying words like "perchance" and "undoubtedly"

Literally please. I would pay you if I could afford it. 😭

yippeeee !

stratovarius - papillon

did i show y'all these?

true luv

part 2

sometimes all u can say is “yikes” and just move tf on lol

it really is insane how waking up early will grant you access to some of the most beautiful sights and sensations in the world that will make you want to live forever, but only if you overcome the gauntlet of a thousand razors that is getting out of bed early. truly one of life's little saw traps.

William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

but if i don’t hyperfixate i’ll get depressed and die

*runs out of hyperfixations* oh god oh fuck *lies in bed feeling empty and useless for 48 hours*

why none of them got into The Good Place

What I love about this is its acknowledgment that Jason had no intentions at all

a summary of joyce and hopper in season 3

Not only that, it’s literally in the driver’s training manual that it is safer to stop your car and sleep on the side of the road than drive tired. Driving tired is as bad as driving drunk. It is actually a DANGER to make sleeping in your car illegal.

Maria wearing Steve’s jacket (Avengers: Age of Ultron)

I can’t decide if I prefer the thought that Maria said she was cold and Steve offered her his jacket because he is an Officer and a Gentleman, or if Steve at some point took off his jacket and Slightly Drunk!Maria decided it would be hiLARious to steal Captain America’s jacket

third option she liked the jacket and as she’s slightly drunk challenges him to a game of pool for it he accepts not wanting to turn a lady’s request down she wipes the floor with him even while inebriated cause girl got deadeye aim the jacket is now hers forever she is knighted an honorary avenger with a pool cue for her mad skills she downs another beer like the true lesbian that she is and pokes fun at him for the rest of the evening

I accept all