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Northern Redwood

@northernredwood / northernredwood.tumblr.com

Tree-hugging, sci-fi loving, picture taking nomad. Take with a grain of salt and call me in the morning. Follow and reblog.
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““You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because one you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to the people who don’t understand.””

— ~The Velveteen Rabbit

I saw a post where someone was talking about how long they've been on Tumblr, so I scrolled through my archive and found my first post. 13 years ago.

Still one of my top 5 quotes.

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khaleesi

re: tumblr

hello! I work in tech and here are some important things to know about "tumblr is going into maintenance mode." please note I do not work at tumblr, I've just worked at tumblr-adjacent sort of companies for my entire adult life and i've gone through this before.

what does maintenance mode mean?

literally what it sounds like -- Automattic is not going to be hiring new staff, investing in new product features, or doing anything new on tumblr. the staff that remains working on tumblr will be maintaining the status quo. most of the staff will be allocated elsewhere (or possibly laid off, though it looks like from that memo that's not what they're planning to do). it does not mean tumblr is shutting down. you should still buy premium, get merch, etc, because this is definitely step one of the shutdown process, but a maintenance mode designation is basically to see if tumblr will generate a revenue without putting more money into it than strictly necessary.

why did this happen?

obviously I do not know directly. from my observation, it's in part because Yahoo had absolutely no idea what to do with this platform, and then when Automattic bought it they also... struggled... but it is also in part because the user base has been so viciously anti-monetization that most attempts were killed outright.

yes, the user base is part of the problem. the absolute feral anti-premium, anti-ads, anti-tipping, anti-everything tumblr tried to do to make money is part of the problem. it's not the only part of the problem by a long shot, but I would be remiss not to mention it.

what do I do now?

use the platform. just like, keep using tumblr. do not abandon ship. buy premium, get yourself some badges, get yourself some merch, but use the platform. ad revenue is based on impressions and clicks. if a ton of the user base gives up, that revenue disappears.

--

tumblr is extremely special. I've never seen anything like it in my 20-odd years of being Very Online, and I was a minor BNF in WolfStar during LiveJournal days. I don't know that it can be recreated elsewhere. I don't know where fandom will go. I know that something else will exist after tumblr and that nothing gold can stay, but i don't think the specific kind of joy found here can be recreated. i say this not to be a downer, but to be realistic. I guess I should find a Bluesky invite.

I've been here since 2008. I'm not going anywhere as long as this site exists. hope you'll stay here with me.

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Did someone send me a message?

I had a notification that disappeared. Weird.

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tumblr guide for new users:

1) there is no algorithm for your dashboard. can't stress this enough. your dashboard is in chronological order of posts and reblogs from people you follow. "based on your likes!" is a joke and they removed that feature in a week

2) because of the lack of algorithm, likes do nothing. if you want more people to see a post, you have to reblog it so it goes on your follower's dashes

3) the vast majority of posts on a person's blog tend to be reblogs. think 90% or so. some of those will have that person commenting on it, and more will have tags

4) comments stay on reblog chains, while tags only show up on your reblog of that post. it's kind of like a whisper voice. in either case, both op and the person you reblogged from see that in their notifications

5) tags don't go in the body of the post. writing "staying in #lasvegas" won't make it appear in the las vegas tag, it'll just look weird

6) it's totally normal to reblog and post multiple things in one day. it's normal to reblog the same post twice in a row. it's normal to have 100 posts+reblogs in a day. post limit (the total number of original posts and reblogs) for a single day is 250. you heard me. 250. go hog fucking wild

7) it defaults to having a visible likes tab on your blog (but only on your blog, not the dashboard) but most people toggle it off

8) "tumblr clout" is a fucking joke. no one can see your follower count, and no one makes money here. there are no influencers. enjoy not giving a shit about maintaining a public persona. it's all anonymous and your employers won't find you here

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Here's a little lesson in the Tumblr algorithm, for those who don't know: the only way for a post to be spread to someone's dash, after it's already been made, is through reblogs. Likes do very little for boosting visibility. Besides adding notes so a post has a higher likelihood of appearing at the top of search results for the tags they're featured in, likes are just caches to show/store posts you've liked. They do not significantly increase the likelihood that the post will be seen by more people. The only way to ensure this is to reblog it to your own blog, so your followers will see it.

Also, this isn't Twitter. I know that on Twitter, it's largely expected for most of your profile to consist of mostly your own tweets, and not too many retweets. Tumblr is extremely different, in that the entire site is made up of shared posts. The site is designed for maybe 5% of the content on your dash to be original content at any given moment, while 95% will be reblogs from others, and that's perfectly acceptable and expected, actually.

This is all to say that, I know a lot of you come from Tik Tok or Twitter, where liking content has a direct, positive effect on the content's visibility. I know that your FYP is dictated by what gets more likes/what the people you follow like, and that Twitter shows posts your following likes on the TL. But Tumblr is extremely different. So please, don't hesitate to reblog shit on this website, especially art/writing. If you liked an artist's work, the best thing you can do for them is reblog it because simply liking it will do very little to boost their post's visibility. This doesn't just apply to art either; if there's a PSA, theory, etc., that you enjoyed and want more people to see, the only way for that to happen is to reblog.

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vague-vixen

Likes are Bookmarks

Reblogs are Exposure

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sirenphrynne
Reblog for awareness
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Today shouldn’t be surprising

My Master's thesis was on state's response to domestic vs international/nonstate attacks on domestic soil. Domestic terror by white people was taken less seriously. Domestic terror or perceived terror by BIPOC were treated with more violence and more press

Today is overwhelming, but shouldn't be surprising. This shit is 200+ years in the making. 4 years isn't going to magically fix this. Winning GA isn't going to magically fix this.

This is systemic racism in action. Call that shit out in your family. In your workplace. In your church. In your LARP groups. In your book clubs. Drive it into the ground and don't look back.

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karamcosplay

"You remind me of the babe..."

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! I am super duper excited to reveal my new and improved Goblin Queen cosplay! If you've been following me from the beginning, you might remember my take on Jareth from LexCon 2018. Well, the announcement of a Labyrinth sequel in May had me revisiting the film, which, in turn, made me want to remake this costume. So I did!

I've recreated Jareth's Magic Dance ensemble, but I'm also working on getting his bedazzled blue ballroom outfit soon, too! Stay tuned for that. For now, enjoy these selfies. Here's to a magical 2021!!

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mighty-meh

I've been wanting to make a somewhat Tarot card of Essek for a while now, so i tried something last night

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Recognizing Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)

Recognizing Complex PTSD can be really tough.

People tend to think of PTSD as a thing that only happens to former soldiers, or maybe somebody who was in a life-threatening accident or the victim of sexual assault. But actually, little everyday traumas can cause PTSD too: things like experiencing everyday racism or other prejudice, being rejected repeatedly by peers, or not having your parents acknowledge your feelings or opinions. Lots of people struggle with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, eating disorders, or even symptoms of ADHD, and never realize that they could be caused by a childhood or lifetime full of these “minor” traumas. Just growing up with emotional neglect–having parents who didn’t listen to you or express much affection for you–can be enough to cause C-PTSD. The good news is that addressing your trauma history can lead to recovery! So how can you tell if you have Complex PTSD?

Symptoms of PTSD:

Intrusion: The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in one or more of the following ways:

  • Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive memories. 
  • Children older than six may express this symptom through repetitive play in which aspects of the trauma are expressed.
  • Traumatic nightmares or upsetting dreams with content related to the event. Children may have frightening dreams without content related to the trauma. [I have a lot of nightmares unrelated to the event, which may be because the trauma started when I was a child.]
  • Dissociative reactions, such as flashbacks, in which it feels like the experience is happening again. These may occur on a continuum ranging from brief episodes to complete loss of consciousness. [Emotional flashbacks can feel like a sudden mood swing. Look for incidents where you had an emotional reaction that was inappropriate for or way out of proportion to the circumstances that triggered it. Dissociation can also take the form of derealization or depersonalization.]
  • Intense or prolonged distress after exposure to traumatic reminders. [”Being triggered”: see above]
  • Marked physiological reactivity, such as increased heart rate, after exposure to traumatic reminders.

 Avoidance: Persistent effortful avoidance of distressing trauma-related reminders after the event 

  • Avoidance of trauma-related thoughts or feelings.
  • Avoidance of trauma-related external reminders, such as people, places, conversations, activities, objects, or situations.

Negative Alterations in Mood: Negative alterations in cognition and mood that began or worsened after the traumatic event 

  • Inability to recall key features of the traumatic event. This is usually dissociative amnesia, not due to head injury, alcohol, or drugs. [It’s not unusual for people who were traumatized in childhood to feel like they don’t remember much of their childhood, or that it’s “all a blur”.]
  • Persistent, and often distorted negative beliefs and expectations about oneself or the world, such as “I am bad,” or “The world is completely dangerous.” [”This is never going to get better.” “I’m so annoying to people. I should never talk again.” “I just suck at everything I do.” “I just don’t fit in this world.” This includes catastrophizing: “If I eat more candy I’m going to have more cavities and I’m going to LOSE ALL MY TEETH OMG” etc]
  • Persistent distorted blame of self or others for causing the traumatic event or for the resulting consequences.
  • Persistent negative emotions, including fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame. [And, obviously, depression!]
  • Markedly diminished interest in activities that used to be enjoyable. [”Anhedonia”]
  • Feeling alienated, detached or estranged from others. [Feeling like you’re really special. Feeling like you’re completely alone in the world. Feeling like there’s nobody else like you anywhere. Feeling like you have absolutely nobody who loves you–even if you actually do.]
  • Persistent inability to experience positive emotions, such as happiness, love, and joy.

Alterations in Reactivity: 

  • Irritable or aggressive behavior
  • Self-destructive or reckless behavior [Includes self-harm and suicide attempts]
  • Feeling constantly “on guard” or like danger is lurking around every corner (hypervigilance) [In people with interpersonal trauma, this can mean watching people’s emotional reactions to you constantly for signs that they dislike you, are angry with you, are upset, etc.]
  • Exaggerated startle response
  • Problems in concentration
  • Sleep disturbance

Symptoms of Complex PTSD

In addition to the core symptoms of single-event PTSD, people with C-PTSD [the result of prolonged or repetitive trauma] may also experience:

Difficulty Controlling Emotions: You may experience an emotional flashback. This is when you have intense feelings that you originally felt during the trauma, such as fear, shame, or sadness. You may also experience severe depression, thoughts of suicide, or have difficulty controlling your anger.

Detachment from Trauma (Dissociation):  Dissociation is the mind’s way of coping with an intensely traumatic experience. Those who experience dissociation may feel detached from their surroundings, their actions, and their body. They may experience gaps in their memory surrounding the original trauma or an everyday task that reminds them of the trauma they experienced. [People with C-PTSD also often have trouble feeling their emotions, or identifying how they’re feeling: they subconsciously try to separate themselves from their feelings, because they’re afraid they will be overwhelmed by them. Dissociation can also take the form of distracting oneself from one’s feelings or circumstances–being a “busyholic”, sleeping way more than necessary, constantly looking for distractions, excessive daydreaming, etc.]

Changes in Self-Perception:  Complex PTSD can cause a person to view themselves in a negative light. This negative self-image can include feeling as if they are different from other people and feelings of helplessness, guilt, or shame

Preoccupation With Perpetrator:  It is not uncommon for people with C-PTSD to become fixated on their abuser. This can include becoming obsessed with the abuser, dissecting their relationship with the abuser, and becoming preoccupied with revenge. [People with C-PTSD may also feel that their abuser is somehow all-powerful or that they will somehow manage to ruin the survivor’s life, even if the survivor is no longer in contact with them. Personally, I get into obsessive, ranting arguments in my head with my abusers, which I find very upsetting.]

Difficulty with Personal Relationships:  Someone with C-PTSD may develop unhealthy relationships because they find it difficult to interact with and trust others. [People with C-PTSD may find themselves withdrawing from others and having trouble maintaining relationships or trusting other people. They may isolate themselves because it feels a lot easier just to stay in bed than to face the world. They may also persistently end up in relationships with abusive partners or friends.]

Changes in Beliefs: People exposed to chronic or repeated traumatic events may lose faith in humanity and previously held beliefs.

If these sound like you…

…I strongly recommend that you talk to a mental health professional about Complex PTSD and look intro treatment options! People DO recovery from C-PTSD. It’s not a life sentence. There ARE effective treatments!

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wilwheaton

I live with C-PTSD. For much of my life, I suffered because of it. But I got professional help, and now it doesn’t control my life like it did. It will always be part of me, but now I can manage it, instead of constantly reacting to it. If any of these things in this post feel familiar, or sound like you, please reach out to a therapist who will help you stop suffering. You are worthy. You are enough. You deserve to be happy. You don’t deserve what happened to you, and it isn’t your fault. It wasn’t my fault when it happened to me. You are stronger than you think, and you are not alone.

Anxiety, etc...never seemed to fully encompass my mental health. PTSD 100% does.

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fiddleabout

ACA Enrollment Cheat Sheet!

so it’s open enrollment time, which means you need to pick a health insurance plan from the exchanges!  it can be daunting as shit, for sure, especially if you don’t live in the filthy weeds that are the business side of our garbage health care industry like yours truly does.  

so!  here’s a quick rundown of some of the vocabulary:

premiums: this is what you pay per month for the glorious honor of having insurance coverage.  it does not count towards your deductible or out of pocket maximum.  depending on your income, you may be eligible for a subsidy or other financial assistance to make your premiums more affordable.  

deductible: this is how much in health care costs you have to pay before your insurance starts really kicking in.  for example, my insurance through work had a $1,500 deductible, so the copays and coinsurances and lab costs that i had to pay early in the year, before i had another surgery, were fully my responsibility until i’d paid out $1,500; after that, my insurance started covering a flat 80% of everything, including copays.  basically, the deductible is how many actual dollars you have to pay out for medical costs before your insurance takes over.  

  • if you’re someone who goes to the doctor a lot, like me, you’re probably going to want a plan with a lower deductible, which will have a higher premium; however, in the long run, you’ll come out more ahead with a high premium/lower deductible.
  • on the flip side, if you’re generally healthy and just need an annual checkup, flu shot, ob-gyn annual, etc., then you probably want a lower premium/higher deductible plan.

out of pocket maximum: this is the cap on how much– aside from premiums– you should have to pay in health care costs in a year.  most plans on the exchanges right now have a high deductible and higher OOP max.  

network: this is the collection of providers (doctors, surgeons, urgent care facilities, imaging facilities, etc.– any clinical medical care or medical service provider) that are contracted with the insurance plan.  this means that they have an agreement with the plan to accept payment from that plan for services.  you can still see out of network providers, but your plan may have a separate out of network deductible that is higher and that you pay separately from your main deductible (for example, if your plan deductible if $5,000, you might have a separate out of network deductible of $5,500; even if you’ve already paid of $4,950 of your regular deductible, if you see an out of network doctor, you’re going to have to hit the $5,500 deductible in copays and whatnot before the insurance covers them fully).  

  • most insurers have their own website that identifies what doctors are in network.  sometimes you can access this without being on the plan already, sometimes you can’t.  a decent, though inconsistent, workaround is to use zocdoc, where you can put in the plan type you’re thinking about switching to and see what doctors are in network.  the drawback to zocdoc is that contract status is doctor-reported, so if the doctor’s office in question is slow to update, the records may be out of date.  
  • another option to determine network availability for a specific doctor or care group is, if you’re okay hopping on the phone, to just give them a call and ask outright if they’re going to be in network for plan ___ in 2018.  
  • if you’re like me and hate talking on the phone, the other option is that large provider groups, and a good number of smaller groups and individual providers, will often also have accepted insurances on their websites.  in my experience almost all providers who have privileges at a hospital will have that listed on their pages on the hospital’s website.

copay: this is a flat fee you pay to a provider when you see them.  it’s like the cover charge at a bar: you pay $20 to get in the door, and then you get the dubious honor of also paying for the drinks and food you buy inside on top of that.  

coinsurance: this is a percentage charge for seeing a provider.  instead of a $20 copay for the cost of the visit to see doctor bob, you’re charged, say, 10% of the total cost of all charges associated with you visit to see doctor bob.  if you don’t get much done, this may only like $10; if you get a full metabolic panel run and a bunch of xrays, it might be $100.  

and the plan types:

hmo: health management organization.  the concept of this plan is that you have a pcp (primary care provider - your regular doctor) who functions as your primary point of contact for all medical care.  if you want to see a non-pcp doctor, you have to first see your pcp, who will write you a referral to see said specialist.  specialists include orthopedists, physical therapists, neurologists, ob-gyns,  etc. - any provider who isn’t your pcp, basically.  

  • hmos tend to be cheaper for you, the beneficiary
  • this is because of how they’re paid out: pcp doctors receive a capitation (aka, a set flat amount) payment from the insurer for each beneficiary (you) who has them as a pcp.  
  • so, if i’m a primary care doc and i have 200 blue cross hmo patients and i get $100 per patient, i get $20,000 from blue cross, ostensibly for the cost of care provided, but the provider keeps all $20,000 even if they only end up incurring $15,000 in costs.  the downside of this for you as a patient is that this encourages pcps to get a lot of people to sign up as their patients, and then to see them as little as possible/push them out to specialists for actual care, as this lowers their costs and increases their revenues.  
  • you may end up feeling like you’re going in circles trying to get actual care because you’re getting pushed from one doctor to another.
  • note: hmo plans sometimes do not cover out of network providers at all.

ppo: preferred provider organization.  this plan is a free for all: if they’re in network, you can go to whomever you want.  they tend to be a bit pricier (almost always on premiums, 50/50 on deductibles) than hmo plans, but you’re basically paying for ease of access.  you can make an appointment directly with any specialist you so choose.  these plans are ideal for people like me, since i have to see orthopedists and hematologists and physical therapists pretty regularly, and going through a pcp for each of those would be a pain.  

  • you’ll tend to have relatively low copays within the network and higher ones outside of it
  • unlike some hmo plans, most ppo plans will provide coverage for out of network providers, just at a less favorable rate

epo: exclusive provider organization. this is the bastard child of the hmo and ppo and is also an increasingly common option on most of the exchanges.  like a ppo, no pcp or referrals are provided; however, the network tends to be narrower and you have less choice of in-network providers and, crucially, they don’t tend to cover any out of network providers except for emergencies 

  • important note: the classification of “emergency” isn’t just “emergency situation”, but generally is limited to a proven medical emergency in which you go to an actual emergency room or emergency department.  
  • insurers will frequently challenge ER/ED bills to confirm medical necessity because– 
  • in their defense, since they’re meant to cover almost the entirety of emergency bills and also because one of the quantifiable measures of success in moving to value-based care that the ACA established is lowering avoidable ER/ED admissions
  • –they don’t want to encourage people to go the ER/ED for just anything

high deductible/catastrophic: these are exactly what they sound like– plans for healthy young people who are pretty much only going to wind up with medical costs if something terrible and, well, catastrophic, like a car accident, happens.  they have low premiums and very high deductibles (often approaching ~$10,000).  these are only available to people under the age of thirty, because clearly as soon as you turn thirty you must turn into a total drain on all healthcare resources :|

so what does all of this boil down to for you and your enrollment?

start by figuring out what financial help you’re eligible for!  the exchanges generally have an option at the front end of the process for you to identify your annual income and number of dependents on your plan.  this will let you know if you’re eligible for a subsidy or other financial help, and, if so, how much; you should also have an option when searching through plans on the exchanges to input estimated financial help, which will adjust the premiums in the search engine.  

after that, start digging into the individual plan options.  every exchange plan should provide a summary of benefits and coverage.  it’ll be a pdf and will look like this:

that red circle in the top right there? that’s where you can identify what type of plan you’re looking at.  the first page in the summary of benefits will always look the same– it’s the basic overview of the costs and definitions.

this document will also list excluded services.  it’ll generally be somewhere in the middle/back half of the document and will have a clear header like this:

for me, this is the first thing i look for after verifying premium and deductible amounts.  as the above picture indicates, you can find more information in the plan documents.  these aren’t always directly linked to on the exchange website, but you can generally find them on the insurance providers website.  these will be a lot more detailed and can be anywhere between twenty and 200 pages.  ctrl + f your heart out: as frustrating and complicated as insurers can be, they can’t actually fail to disclose if they, for example, don’t cover all forms of contraceptives.  they’ll disclose it in the plan documents, even if they don’t, unfortunately, have to be clear and up front about it.

NOTE: MINIMUM VALUE STANDARDS

towards the end of the summary of benefits document will be a page that looks like this:

minimum value standards roughs out to basically meaning that at least 60% of all medical charges are covered.  if the plan you’re on does not meet minimum value standards, you might be able to get a tax credit to help you buy another marketplace plan.  always check for this verification when you’re researching plans.

what does all of this shit mean? 

it means start here and then find your state’s exchange from there.  the garbage carrot in chief established “maintenance times” on this website throughout the open enrollment period (sunday afternoons, i believe), so schedule around that.  sit down on a monday or wednesday or saturday with some snacks and a cup of your favorite beer/wine/tea/whathaveyou and crank up some good music to jam to and do some research:

  1. start with figuring out what you can afford monthly and if something terrible happens and you have to cover ER and/or surgery bills
  2. if you have a specific doctor you want to stay with, figure out which insurances they’ll be accepting
  3. check for coverage info in the summary of benefits documents and, if you want more detail, in the plan documents
  4. narrow it down to a few and compare the prices
  5. take a break and have a cookie, you deserve it at this point
  6. pick a plan!  if you’re not feeling super certain about it, go for a walk, do some laundry, pet your cat– just take a break, walk away, come back to it with fresh eyes.  this is a big deal, so you don’t want to wear your brain out and give yourself a headache and then just pick one at random because you have eye strain and want to be done.  open enrollment goes until december 15, so don’t rush yourself.
  7. sign up for your plan
  8. have another cookie and pat yourself on the back, because you just signed up for health insurance for 2018!
  9. now take a nap because that was fucking exhausting and you deserve it

if i don’t know the answer, i can point you towards someone or some resource that will.  don’t be afraid to ask me or anyone else for help!  this is a complicated situation and even though the current administration is trying really hard to make it worse, there are still always resources available to you for help and guidance.  all you have to do is ask :)   

open enrollment for ACA healthcare coverage in 2021 is now open!

enrollment will be open from 1 november to 15 december.  if your state runs their own marketplace instead of using the federally-run one, your enrollment period might run longer.  if you’re not sure which your state is doing, the kaiser family foundation has a reference listed here.

i know it’s been a shitshow of a year and there’s a lot up in the air, not least the fact that there’s a case pending in the supreme court regarding the constitutionality of the ACA and the confirmation of amy coney barrett means things don’t look good for it, but for now the marketplaces are open and plans are set for 2021, so i highly recommend you treat enrollment as if the ACA will continue on throughout 2021 and get yourself enrolled for coverage.

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