just came back to tumblr can you guys start posting funny images and fucking old men again
They should pay me to sort objects by color and shape and size all day I'd be good at it I'd be so fucking good at it
the Gemini urge to eat shit and die
"WHERE'S FORGOR" you will never believe what I did .
not fucking true i live in appalachia got 4 mines in my back yard yet earth hasnt swallowed me even once
this thing contains the divine spark. it evolved from ancient ungulates like whales did
i think everyone needs to get into wildlife identification it's like a minigame for real life
Y’all… what do you guys do for a living… but describe it in the worst way possible.
“what’s your five year plan” bro i wake up every day confused by the fact that i’m even alive
to increase steel production 300%
painkiller is such a metal fucking word. pain. killer. so badass.
sword called “painkiller” because. yeah. if you think about it
We’ve heard about the seeming contrast of creators that make these super happy saccharine pieces of art being bitter people whose lives seem to be filled with agony whereas horror creators that thrive in the grotesque all seem to be super happy and positive people, the usual “Miyazaki Hayao vs Itou Junji” kinda beat.
There’s a similar, slightly overlapping dynamic between cuisine and blacksmithing. Chefs are the single angriest existences in the world and would piss on your grave seconds after stuffing your freshly gutted corpse in it. Blacksmiths are jovial, usually quiet dudes that work machinery and think your dagger is still very cool even if it’s got some balance issues.
Now, of course this is making reference to the Ramsay style of food shows, which is not the universal experience when it comes to the genre – I’m more of a Cutthroat Kitchen kind of guy, because I like Mario Party – but it’s always fun to me to go through an episode of Hell’s Kitchen where Ramsay annihilates his own vocal chords screaming “FUCKING DONKEY” and “IT’S RAW”, then right after, watch some old Forged In Fire and see the Filipino weapon master, Marcaida, test a short sword one of the contestants made and it fucking explodes into shards without nary a scratch on the pig’s carcass, obviously the shittiest weapon you could possibly make, damascus steel shards flying embedded in his arm, and he’ll calmly, with his signature friendly smile, lovable demeanor, and charismatic gait, face the contestant and be like
“Well, you see, Bob, your blade unfortunately suffered a catastrophic malfunction, and it can’t be tested any further. However, the handle on your weapon allowed for some very good balance and ease of swing, it fits my palm perfectly and it swings very easy. Despite the blade fracturing in 7 uneven fragments, we can see that the blade didn’t chip or roll at all. Good work, Bob” then they’ll shake on it and Bob is eliminated, and all he’ll say is “I’m sorry to have punctured 4 blood vessels on Marcaida, but end of the day, the other smiths were simply better, and I’m proud of them. I just gotta go and work on my fundamentals back at home now :)” meanwhile Hell’s Kitchen’s contestants are having a shootout with Glocks in their dorm because someone made fun of someone else’s raw scallops.
i think everyone should know that you can watch almost 200 episodes of forged in fire on the history channel website for free
