i’m a simple girl i see a man with big arms and a kind heart and i get a little stupid

(Y/n), focusing on trying to cut out the circle from the candy:

Triangle guards, just staring at them:

(Y/n),hand quivering: Baby…..Shark Doo-Doo-Doo Doo-Doo-Doo~

(Y/n): Mommy Shar—

One Triangle guards snickers , causing all of the other guards to stare at them

(Y/n), chewing : So…..What happens if I like cut it out but..forgot to show any of you & and just ate it? Do I still die or—?

Another triangle guard snickers:

wow millennials are glued to their i-phones and laptops so much they cant even be bothered robbing in person anymore!!! maybe these trust fund babies should stop phishing credit cards while sitting on their butts and go out there and put some elbow grease into their thievery!

I know exactly what happened. Because it happened to me.

I trained for years to be a con artist. I told my friends and family that I wanted to be a magician, but that was just a cover for why I was constantly practicing sleight of hand. 

In junior high and high school, I would shop lift a bunch of candy on my way to school, sell it to kids at the morning break, and use that money to run a crooked poker game at lunch.

Finally, when I was 19 or 20, I felt I was ready, and I picked my first pocket. I was on the bus, bumped a guy as I passed down the aisle, got his wallet, super clean.

In the wallet was several hundred dollars. A huge first score, I had been hoping for a couple twenties. I sat there looking at the, like, 400 bucks, thinking.

That was my rent at the time. We were both on the bus. It was likely his rent too. Lord knows the only reason to carry that much cash on the bus is you’re on your way to pay a bill. We were both on the bus, you know? That’s not someone I was comfortable stealing from.

I tapped him on the shoulder and told him “hey i think you dropped this” and gave it back to him with all the money still in it. It was the first and last time I ever picked a pocket.

Picking a rich person’s pocket is a loosing game. They probably have credit cards and not cash, those credit cards probably have the best anti-theft measures their bank can provide, and you probably can’t get close enough to those people to pick their pockets unless you’re already rich yourself.

The people who’s pockets you can reliably pick are the people around you. The people who are also on the bus, who are in this same shitty situation with you.

As wealth inequality becomes more drastic picking pockets has very clearly become “stealing from other poor people” and it’s not satisfying. I want to steal from Google and Apple and Fox and Facebook and General Mills and Hershey and Tesla. Not the person next to me.

Wow. This post went from funny to a life lesson in a way I wasn’t expecting, amd I’m not sorey at all.

See, unlike the capitalist elite, common criminals have a sense of morality and empathy.

Rescued raccoon imprints on dad. (via)

Cutest thing ever!

|main masterlist|

➸ 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 ➸ 𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰  ➸ 𝔰𝔬𝔠𝔦𝔞𝔩 𝔪𝔢𝔡𝔦𝔞 𝔞𝔲𝔰

➸ 𝔩𝔬𝔨𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

➸ 𝖖𝖚𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖊  𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖎𝖎 (𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖛𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖌𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗)         ↳ ʏ/ɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴛᴇᴠᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴛᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴀɴᴛɪɴᴇ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ ᴅᴇꜱᴘɪᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ. ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ʙʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴏʀ ᴅʀɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ?

➸ 𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖘 (𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖛𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖌𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖔𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑 𝖒𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖆 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙)          ↳ ꜱᴀᴍ ᴛᴇʟʟꜱ ʏ/ɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ

➸ 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖕𝖆𝖘𝖙 (𝖙𝖔𝖓𝖞 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗)          ↳ ᴛᴏɴʏ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴋ ꜱᴇᴇᴍᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ʜɪꜱ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟ ᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴɴᴏʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇʟʟ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ʏ/ɴ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ɢᴇᴛ ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ 40ꜱ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ 

➸ 𝖗𝖚𝖇𝖇𝖑𝖊  (𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙)        ↳ ʏ/ɴ'ꜱ ᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ ɢᴏᴇꜱ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴍꜱ ᴅᴏᴡɴ, ꜱʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇꜱ ʜᴇʀ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ ᴀ ꜰɪɴᴀʟ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ

➸ 𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 (𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙)         ↳ ʏ/ɴ ɪꜱ ꜰᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇʟɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴀᴜᴍᴀ ᴏꜰ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱʜᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀꜱ

“Hang on… you’re telling me that things a Loki too??”

Their Surrogate - 2

Pairing : Dark!Steve x Reader, Dark!Bucky x Reader

Summary: When Steve and Bucky ask you to be the surrogate mother for their child, you couldn’t say no.

Words: 5.6k

Warnings: Non-con, forced pregnancy, somnophilia, breeding kink, one homophobic slang, language, 18+ONLY

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait. I’ll put the epilogue out this week since I didn’t want to end this abruptly. Thank you for being so patient and kind with me. 

PART 1

As time stood still, your heart cracking with every hard beat, you felt yourself transport away to centuries back where one man had been betrayed by those he loved. Was this how Christ had felt as Judas kissed his cheek? Did Judas have bright blue eyes like Steve’s or with a hint of green in them like Bucky?

“Oh god, what did you do to me?” You asked, eyes fliting between Steve and Bucky. They glanced at each other and then at you, looking at a loss of words.

“Doll, calm down. Please, we can explain.” Steve said, trying to console you. He took a step towards you and you stumbled back, raising a hand in warning.

Amazing how we’re watching a bunch of white, racist fucks, storm the capitol building of the United States over the fact that they can’t accept their loser of a President lost the election, is unfuckingbelivable. The transparency of minorities and people protesting for human rights and justice in the face of corruption, versus people are sore losers that can’t accept defeat and know they’re protected because they’re white Americans, could not be more apparent.

Yes they’re trump supporters but call them what they are: terrorists

What really pains me about how morally fucked up and bluntly racist the Wonder Woman movies are, is that they still go on to be successful and make a lot of money. Aside from a few Muslims on social media (and even fewer non-Muslim who would like our posts/tweets for brownie points, but still go to watch the movie afterwards) almost no one is really participating in the conversation about the pro-IDF propaganda and racist portrayal of Arabs in these movies, even though people have out-right boycotted movies in the past that weren’t as offensive as the WW movies, but for some reason that same energy isn’t present right now, even the most woke “SJW” are ignoring all the controversy around these movies and instead choose to drool over how hot this white actress with mediocre acting skills is and how female-empowering her movies are. 

Another reason for me not to watch it. Thank you!

#justiceformuslims

I love every single person who reblogged this

I don’t think people realize how much of an impact this kind of support can have, I don’t think everyone knows what these little things can mean to us.

It may just be me, I don’t know. But every single time I see this on my dash or on someone’s blog or anywhere else, I kind of just breathe a sigh of relief. That’s one more person who cares. That’s one more person who doesn’t hate me.

Because it means so much, especially when all the media is spewing out is that I’m a terrible person and no one wants people like me near them. It means so much because I’m tired of people who won’t sit next to me in class, or who choose to join the longer line at the grocery store because they don’t want to be beside me and my family. It means so much when I have to lift my head any time someone says the words Islam or Muslim because I’m scared that they’ll say something that’ll hurt, when I have to pay attention to the news because who knows what so and so is saying now, who knows which of my people are being attacked now, who knows what’s going to happen to me now.

It means so much because I’ve been given the idea that the world is against me. And a huge part of it may be, but at least I’ve been reminded that some of it, just a small group of people, acknowledges that I’m a person too. That people like me are just that, people.

Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know. But now you do, so thank you for believing that I’m human when so many people don’t.

Have a great day x

translation: “My sheep! [bah! bah!] You are my life. [bah! bah!] Walk behind me…[bah! bah!] Sing (after me).”

Y/N, after the fam finds out about Red Hood: Why is everyone so mad at Jason? I think he’s cool Bruce: He tried to kill us Y/N, stabs Bruce with a plastic spoon: I just tried to kill you. Do you hate me now? Bruce: Sweety I- Y/N: Discrimination

Din’s toughest mission yet 💚

COSMOS: A Personal Voyage (1980) written by Carl Sagan, Ann Druyan, and Steven Soter 

”So I feel like this is the perfect time for a film like this. I feel like the film has become more important and more relevant today, which is a sad thing.” – Oscar Winner Taika Waititi in the Press Room