depressed af my dudes

sobbing and crying at the woman who stole a meth addicted kitten from her dealer and then she and the kitten got clean together

thats love baby!!

This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

I can’t wait to hear how the bees are also Hamas.

to summarize what's happened at eurovision in the past few hours:

- the Netherlands got disqualified

- Ireland demands that Israel is disqualified

- Ireland, UK, Switzerland, and Portugal seriously consider withdrawing

- France stopped singing mid-song and started talking about peace

Tara Strong got fired from the upcoming indie cartoon "Boxtown" for her disgustingly racist comments about Palestinians and now she's going on multiple different interviews trying to slander the show's crew and calling them antisemites. (Video after the tweet)

If you'd like to support Boxtown and its crew on their future endeavors follow their social medias below:

Reminder: in life you can and will fuck up, sometimes catastrophically. But you will never ever have a “erasing 68 years of credibility, love, cultural impact and devotion over a moroccanoil sponsorship” level of fuck up.

Just reading about all the Eurovision happenings rn

Thank you dear Eurovision audience. Not only a black ocean but also booing but what did the tv station do? Fake cheering....but at least we know how it really went down. I am so not watching btw

scrolling through #eurovision and finding out that fucking israel made it to the final and apparently the organizers were removing crowd's booing and replacing it with cheering sounds makes me wonder when the fuck did we go wrong. when ukraine was invaded it was all about it, we showed we can easily stand together against russia but now? ive always wondered why israel participates in eurovision in the first place but this shit just goes over my head

Since Piers Morgan was talking about genocidal intent and parroting israeli propaganda, these are all the statement from mostly israeli officials about Palestinians.

“A baby there is an enemy

A first grader is an enemy

A pregnant mother is an enemy”

Source: Suppressed News.

Going from “celebrations on the streets of Rafah as Hamas accepts ceasefire deal” to “Israel chooses to continue offensive in Rafah and is currently carrying out targeted attacks” within the span of an hour is the most viscerally heartbroken I’ve been throughout the past months

Israel wants to crush the hope of Palestine, but they will not fail, every day the people of Gaza only grow more hopeful, and we must do the same! 💛🇵🇸

Palestinians are trying to rebuild their lives in Northern and Central Gaza as the occupation focuses its genocidal war machine on the South, particularly Rafah

I love the indomitable human spirit and people’s will to persist

My only post-ESC post will be this. Bambie speaking for all of us when they said fuck the EBU. A massive reform is due for ESC, and it starts by kicking out isa hell. Until then, keep boycotting the following years.