Rad Shit.

Remember when Tommy you know… TRIED TO MURDER DILL?

A Quartet of Critically Endangered Egyptian Tortoises

He came for her life

My man Jesus

What story is that?

Matthew 18:9

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

Canon Jesus > Fanon Jesus.

Jesus: Well that sounds like a YOU problem.

hey pals whats upaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

shut up

kiwi / harry styles

*hacker voice* I’m in

Ya boys logged tf in

amir khusrow (1253–1325 CE)

this changed my life

this was written before the printing press was invented and it still sounds like a modern day shitpost