Who's got a bad crush on who?

Crushes are very cute, it reminds me of middleschool. Unfortunately (or unfortunately) some of our residents are no stranger to that even as grown ass adults. Some are cute, while others are cringey. Here are my top five for this month: 

Mercy Peltier’s affection for Damien Hunt is downright sad for the sole reason that she’s been harboring it for hundreds of years; she either needs to tell him or find someone else who wouldn’t play dumb just to string her along. Aubrey Belvoir was overheard missing more than just a kiss, she’s in need of a good lay and from her fixation and progress with Stephen Neeley, it looks like she’ll soon have both. 

Marshall Hughes is prone to nervous breakdowns and it’s sweet that Simone Artois, a vampire, calms him of all people. Maybe she compels him or maybe she’s really that nice, I really can’t tell yet. We also have Originals on this list with scary and sexy Carmilla Frost whose obsession with Helena Hastings is justified, the strong attracts the strong after all. Finally we have babies Danielle Abbott and what could be a blossoming crush on Leon Hastings, tea and pizza rolls at two in the morning? If you say so.

Looks like Bonnie and Clyde skipped town without telling the family. Think Matilda and Damien will be sad to see their brother go or relieved?

Damien Hunt went Picasso on his brother’s face and smashed it over and over and over against his bar counter as the patrons watched. I assume things didn’t end well for the two. And like the infamous Bonnie and Clyde, their luck has run out after pissing too many residents so they wisened up and decided to skip town before they too end up dead on the street. Will Matilda Hunt miss them? Probably not, she’s too busy being sweet with a former hunter to care about her brothers anyway.

barsilaj and simone.. i think he may give damien a run for his money. that is if the two ever break the tension!

Tension has been broken as the two got cozy in Barsilaj’s cabin. We can blame it on the alcohol or the fact that Simone is physically unable to say no to Barsilaj but whatever it is, it’s a delicious pairing. Bas likes the torture but I don’t think he can hold out for too long and whether it ends with them consuming all those unspoken attraction, we’ll just have to see. One thing’s certain, Damien Hunt will just have to play the fool this time.

Does Damien love Magda or does he just wanna smash her heart into tiny pieces?

I think he wants to smash more than just her heart, if you know what I mean. However, just because you sleep with someone doesn’t mean you love them and if it did; that must mean Damien has the biggest heart in town.

not to kick a dead horse but how is kai still alright being with a chick who willingly slept with his brother? is he honestly that blinded by "love"? Cheaters gonna cheat.

Love is blind and no other couple proves this than our undead Bonnie and Clyde. As for the matter of cheating, it’s all very murky. From what I heard, not only did she sleep with the older brother but with the younger sister as well. And let’s not forget how both Clary and Kai treated their last partners, so if that’s any indication of how well matched they are, then I don’t know what is. 

It looks like the Hastings boys are catching up with the Hunts on the run for worst case of sibling rivalry. The girls in town can compare performance reviews at this point! In your opinion, which one would be the best pick out of each duo? Landon or Sebastian? Damien or Kai?

I feel like this is something that you’ll have to ask the small army of exes and one night stands that these boys have compiled over the years. While I’ve certainly never had the pleasure of sampling these pies, I know there’s a handful of ladies out there who haven’t slept with just one of the brothers in these pairs– but both. Magdalena, Laila, Darcy, Clary; I’m sure your votes would be of more value than mine.

so... simone has returned to town. do you suppose we will see a love triangle or fued between her, damien and lena? and if a fight breaks out between the woman who do you reckon will win??

As much as I love a good fight between two very beautiful women, I have a feeling that these two are going to disappoint. Topless mud wrestling is out of the question for vampires as dignified as Magdalena and Simone, even if the end prize is the very charming Damien Hunt. I don’t see it in the stars for these ladies to resort to violence, but there’s more ways that rolling up ones sleeves to cause trouble: I’ll be keeping an eye on them, dear reader, to see what may spark out of jealousy.

Damien's favorite train wreck Simone is in town. Do you think he'll stop sleeping around because of it?

Does a leopard change its spots? The answer, dear reader, is absolutely not. Damien Hunt serves no one better than Damien Hunt, the return of an old flame would probably only open the revolving doors to his bedroom to another woman, not close them off for the sake of exclusivity.

Damien and Kai like to share women. Think Kai will have a new flavor of the week soon? He moves on quickly. Talk about desperate. Damien, too. Sloppy seconds, anyone?

Who’s to blame really? The boys sharing toys or the women and men who like to compare notes? As for Kai, I don’t think he’ll be moving on to anyone anymore, word has it that he’s found forever in a certain fake redhead. I’d say congratulations to her but with his track record of his partners leaving him and his last fiancee tragically murdered, I’d rather say good luck. It really makes you wonder what’s wrong with him.

Now Damien on the other hand is in the game for a little while longer, lending his expertise to the sad, lonely and horny. He already went through the cycle of marriage and with all his wives conveniently turning up dead, I think we should all be thankful he’s not interested in tying the knot anytime soon– I’d hate to be dead wife # 42. 

Who has Damien not had sex with?

Aside from family members, I don’t think there’s anyone in town Damien hasn’t slept with.  If there are, give it time and he’ll get to them once his dick is out of his latest plaything.  Though rumor has it he favors a certain miss Lena.  Wonder if she’ll be the one to tame this savage beast.

Demetria's a peach. I wonder if she's hiding any secrets in that perfect hair.

It’s no secret Demetria is full of surprises.  Whether it’s rolling into town and claiming to be the bastard child to an original, running naked in the woods with a certain wolf cop or sharing some history with Damien Hunt (though let’s face it, who doesn’t anymore?) this bitch has plenty of juicy stories.

mostly likely to hook up?

We already talked about our DTR’d couples so now let’s get to the good stuff and talk about the ones you really want to know about.  Shout out to the super sexy ladies, Kendall and Chrissy, for steaming up Ashbourne.  This journalist has been waiting for them to tongue tango for a while now and it’s finally paying off.  Moving from chicks to dicks, it looks like Cal and Mezei are getting down and dirty with one another and I’m sure no one is complaining about it.  Laila seems to bounce between betas and I can’t decide if I’m on team Landon or team Sebastian now that he’s back.  They are wolves though, so maybe the brothers can follow in the footsteps of the Hunts and share a mate?  Speaking of Hunts, now that Ruth is heartbroken, needy and horny, I’m foreseeing another Damien mistake in the future. 

Damien and Cael or Damien and Lena...either way I ship it

I’m not sure Damien and Cael would ever be a thing.  Not if Laila had any say in it.  We both know how those two really feel about vampires and I doubt they’d make an exception for someone like him.  I say out of those options, I’d put my money on Lena winning the bloodsuckers heart.  However, I wouldn’t hold my breath on either.

Damien: skirt-chaser and womanizer? Or is his remarkably square jaw just tragically misunderstood?

If you ask me, dear reader, I’d say Damien is one of those poor saps God forgot to put a soul in when he made him.  The guy flirts and sleeps around like nobodies business, giving even Felix a run for his money, but he doesn’t seem to have actual attachment to any of them.  Rumor has it even though he’s been married several times in the past, his heart belongs to some woman who got away.  He needs to get over it or at the very least stop playing games with the Ashbourne ladies.  Then again, if they’re gullible enough to keep going to him, can’t blame him.  Why would someone stop eating when the buffet is ‘all you can eat’?

Which pairs would have/have had the best and worst sex in your opinion?

Sex is always good dear reader, even when it’s bad, it’s still good. But if you want me spilling details then brew me a pot of tea. 

Whether it’s just the two of them or more, Henryk and Malachi top our list for fun and freaky. They’re one murderous pair who will literally paint the town red. The faeries are a close second and whether it’s Cal and Felix together or any of their chosen partners for that day, it’s bound to be intoxicating. Finally it’s a tie for the Hunt brothers, Damien with Magdalena for their all too perfect date night while Kai with his soon to be ex girlfriend Ruth keeps it dirty.

Special mention to Landon– whether it’s with Lea or Laila, this ravenous original surely delivers.

For the worst I must say Malachi and Remy; there’s just something gross about that and don’t make me start on the whole daughter/lover angle. Damien and Clary are another because the only way that could’ve happened was because someone lost a bet. Lastly, Brady and Matilda and their whirlwind romance; the ex-hunter’s married and all but I guess vagabonds get lucky too.

Lena seems to keep a lot of questionable company.

Doesn’t everyone in this town? From Henryk to Malachi to Damien and Kai, Gentle Lena seems to have a thing for the less reputable fellows. While we know what the Hunts are there for, the other two are far more noteworthy. For one Henryk and Magdalena are related, so either she has bad bones or Henryk has a soul after all. As for Malachi, well, it’s all about a daylight ring and one faerie who used the poor girl to exact his revenge. Careful Magdalena, you might bite off more than you can chew.

Is Laura Miller dating both Hunt brothers?

Are you sure you didn’t mean to say Clarice Dagny or Ruth Jakobs?  Maybe you meant Mercy Peltier or Lena Kaminski?  It seems the Hunt brothers really do share everything.  Let this be a warning you women out there: You date one Hunt, you date both; and chances are you’ll end up with a broken body part of some kind.