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I'm Tired

@hells-king

18 | He/They | I don't tolerate hate. | Queer | HAVE A NICE DAY 🥰
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zebrabaker
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mostly-funnytwittertweets
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themythicalcodfish

Further Americanisms that tell you to check on your American:

been better = in hell

doin’ alright = sad, needs hug

pretty great! = genuine actual baseline. Anything else ranks beneath this. Be Aware.

I’m here, ain’t I? = Defcon 5

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themythicalcodfish

Because someone asked, indications that an American is actually Having A Good Day include:

  • Awesome
  • Fantastic
  • Damn Good Day
  • Great Day to Be Alive
  • Dude You’re Never Gonna Believe This
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runcibility

"Livin' the Dream!" - actively daydreaming about swandiving into a woodchipper

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reallyverynormal

"Peachy!" - one minor inconvenience away from driving their car into a 7/11

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thelilnan

"any day above ground" genuine concern for wellbeing

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iceeericeee

god I fucking love strawberries

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iceeericeee

ooghhh ohgg stummy hurty too many strawberries

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iceeericeee

With God as my witness, if this gets 10k notes I will add Strawberry to my legal name

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c-h-pictures

Tumblr, I'm curious.

I know this doesn't work, but can we at least try to reblog for sample size?

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zebrabaker
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moringmark
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runcibility

I liked this post, scrolled for like another minute before I went “SHIT FUCK SHIT” and scrolled back to reblog it

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quadriviummuse

I always reblog this one when I see it on my dash. When someone posts their own art, writing, or music here they are really hoping you will share it.

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dear-ao3

today i found another pair of my absolute holy grail jeans that i had in high school approximately 6 years ago that i wore until i had ripped and patched the crotch and ass three times and literally could not get them on anymore in exactly one size bigger while i was thrifting.

reblog for good luck at your local thrift store

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dear-ao3

went antiquing today and found a vintage canvas jacket that is the same brand and style as the ones my parents have that i have been stealing for years.

reblog to have good luck at your local antique store as well

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ospreyonthemoon

Lemmings don’t jump off of cliffs unless they’re being chased. Frogs don’t stay in boiling water unless they’ve been lobotomized first. Crabs don’t pull each other back into the bucket unless they are desperately and randomly grabbing for anything to try to get themselves out, out of fear for their lives.

Actions taken in specific, negative conditions don’t exemplify the nature of all beings.

Before you mock a sheep for staying with the flock, ask what dogs nip at its heels when it strays too far, and what wolves wait just beyond the edge of the pasture.

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anarchistmemecollective
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ospreyonthemoon
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not-caused-by-those-who-love
“Get a rat and put it in a cage and give it two water bottles. One is just water, and one is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drugged water and almost always kill itself very quickly, right, within a couple of weeks. So there you go. It’s our theory of addiction. Bruce comes along in the ’70s and said, “Well, hang on a minute. We’re putting the rat in an empty cage. It’s got nothing to do. Let’s try this a little bit differently.” So Bruce built Rat Park, and Rat Park is like heaven for rats. Everything your rat about town could want, it’s got in Rat Park. It’s got lovely food. It’s got sex. It’s got loads of other rats to be friends with. It’s got loads of colored balls. Everything your rat could want. And they’ve got both the water bottles. They’ve got the drugged water and the normal water. But here’s the fascinating thing. In Rat Park, they don’t like the drugged water. They hardly use any of it. None of them ever overdose. None of them ever use in a way that looks like compulsion or addiction. There’s a really interesting human example I’ll tell you about in a minute, but what Bruce says is that shows that both the right-wing and left-wing theories of addiction are wrong. So the right-wing theory is it’s a moral failing, you’re a hedonist, you party too hard. The left-wing theory is it takes you over, your brain is hijacked. Bruce says it’s not your morality, it’s not your brain; it’s your cage. Addiction is largely an adaptation to your environment. […] We’ve created a society where significant numbers of our fellow citizens cannot bear to be present in their lives without being drugged, right? We’ve created a hyperconsumerist, hyperindividualist, isolated world that is, for a lot of people, much more like that first cage than it is like the bonded, connected cages that we need. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection. And our whole society, the engine of our society, is geared towards making us connect with things. If you are not a good consumer capitalist citizen, if you’re spending your time bonding with the people around you and not buying stuff—in fact, we are trained from a very young age to focus our hopes and our dreams and our ambitions on things we can buy and consume. And drug addiction is really a subset of that.”

—

Johann Hari,

Does Capitalism Drive Drug Addiction?

(via bigfatsun)

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haphira
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quadfuckinglutz

Ilia fucking Malinin’s world record breaking free skate

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ladyknightthebrave

Oh my God every bit of this is wild

-when he does the first big jump the announcers start screaming. I don't understand enough of what I'm looking at to get what about this is breaking records but the announcers screaming was a pretty big clue

-He's dancing to music from Succession????? I don't recognize all of it but some of it is definitely the theme from Succession. At one point the audience claps along to the music. And I'm not sure if it's out of support for the skater or because they like the song 🤣

-when he finishes he just lays down on the ice incredible

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daisyinaglass

THAT'S MY BOY!!! I SKATE AT HIS RINK!!!

  • That first big jump is a Quadruple Axel. It's 4.5 rotations in the air (you take off forwards rather than backwards, which is the extra half rotation). Nobody else in the world can do this jump it's so hard. He is the first and only person to ever land it cleanly, much less consistently. He had to land it cleanly here to have any hope of winning the World Champion title.
  • Yes, he's skating to music from Succession! The audience is clapping in support because he was doing so well (also because it was hosted in Montreal and the audience was very supportive of all the skaters that evening).
  • He lays down on the ice because he just broke multiple world records. He landed all 6 types of quadruple jumps cleanly, which no one has ever done at all (again, because he's the only one that can do the quad Axel), much less in a single program like this. This was an insane feat of athletic ability! If you go watch the other guys who competed against him, Yuma Kagiyama was in second place by 20 fucking points, and Yuma skated with no falls. This is Micheal Phelps / Katie Ledecky levels of smashing the competition (sorry the only other sport I know is swimming).

Some other notes for everyone:

  • Ilia listed that first jump as a Triple Axel on the sheet you give to the judges, meaning that he wasn't committed to doing the Quad Axel. (Technically you're not committed to anything on the sheet but it's generally your "plan" for the program.) He also doesn't do a quad axel in the 6-minute warmup beforehand when he does go and do it in the program, so it was a complete toss-up as to whether he was going to go for it. It's incredible that he manages to land the jump so perfectly without warming it up first!
  • He was 3rd coming into this skate from the previous short program. (All skating competitions require you to skate 2 different programs, 1 short and 1 long.) In order to win the title, he was going to have to skate without any falls, especially because his one strong point is his jumps and other skaters are stronger in other areas. There are many, many skaters who fall on their quad jumps, even when they're just doing one. It is so fucking hard to do even one of the 6 types of quad jumps. And he just does all 6! In one program! Insanity!
  • He did a 4 Lutz - 3 Flip at the halfway point of his program. Almost no one puts a Flip on the end of their combos, it'll usually be a Salchow instead because it's much easier. The only other skater I can think of to put a Flip on the end of a combo is Shoma Uno (who was also at these championships but didn't have a good skate).
  • His last jumping pass was a combo that was supposed to be a 3 Lutz - 2 Axel. He decided, in the moment, to change the 2 Axel to a 3 Axel. Nobody else has ever attempted this, much less succeeded. It is orders of magnitude more difficult to do another rotation to the second jump in a combo, at the very end of a 4.5 minute sprint no less.

In short, this kid is wild, had the performance of a lifetime, and I had the blessed opportunity to witness it.

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charliemouse745

And the award for the most in character cosplay goes to…

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nyehwweh

LISTEN ASSASSINS CREED COSPLAYERS ARE FUCKING HARDCORE

WHENEVER I GO TO ANY CONVENTION ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IN EITHER FULL OR ALMOST FULL COSTUME LITERALLY GO SCALE WALLS AND SIT IN RIDICULOUSLY HIGH PLACES

THE LAST TIME I WENT TO A CON A GUY IN FULL EZIO COSPLAY CLIMBED ON TOP OF A GODDAMN BUILDING WITH NO LADDERS NO ROPES NO NOTHING EXCEPT HIS BARE HANDS AND BALLS OF FUCKING DIAMOND

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screamingatmyfandom

We had one of those guys at my high school. Had a really elaborate costume. My group had a film class final due & we asked him to play the villain. He replied by running up the side of the school building & launching himself onto a nearby trash can.

He then proceeded to teach us how to roundhouse kick and how to block.

I am positive he was some kind of assassin sent to infiltrate the school to take out a threat

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the-haiku-bot

He then proceeded

to teach us how to roundhouse

kick and how to block.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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boldlyanxious
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foone

the upside of ADHD is that it makes you a fucking genius

the downside is that you don't get to decide when and for how long you're a genius.

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foone

Or what you are going to be a genius about.

You have a big work project?

Nah. You're now a genius at making boardgames. For 7 hours.

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unrivalling
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transarsonist

i think a LOT of you with chronic conditions should learn this one magical phrase to get your hospital doctor to shit his entire pants, which is leaving the room and saying "im going to go discuss your behavior with the ethics committee, i think you might need a reminder of what your job is"

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zebrabaker
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deadsetobsessions

The Justice League is full of people with gods and metas and aliens and the person they listen to 95% of the time is Bruce “catch these hands” Wayne, a human with some cool gadgets and the sheer audacity to square off with all of them and win.

AND THE THING IS THAT IT’S NOT JUST HIM. IT’S ALL OF HIS KIDS TOO.

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nerdpoe

lmfao imagine if in the underworld his official title is "Godkiller" and none of the JLD tell him this cuz it's too cool and it'll go to his head.

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