Smart little thing, sharp as a diamond. Was never overly impressed by me. Corypheus made her a lot of promises.

...I hope where ever she is, she’s happy. Most of the Venatori deserve a sharp drop and a sudden stop, but not her. She wanted to make things better.

Marry: The Inquisitor. Can you imagine how much that would confuse everyone?Fuck: Hawke. A common topic of discussion in the Blooming Rose.Kill: The Warden. They’ve got to be like half-dead by now, right?

Marry: Sebastian, for the same reason as Tethras: he’s absurdly rich. And royalty! I’d get a title and everything.Fuck: The Seeker. I think she could beat the shit out of me, which is something I look for in a sex partner.Kill: Leliana, because I am very afraid of her.

HOW DARE YOU

Marry: Maddox. Set him up in one of those nice Orlesian chateaus where all the nobles are dead. Fuck: Cullen. I don’t want to hear a word out of any of you.Kill: I’m not actually sure I could kill Calpernia, so this works out very well.

Marry: Tethras. He’s rich, it’d be fantastic. I’d make him buy me all the lyrium and stupid armor decorations I wanted.Fuck: Fenris. What? He’s handsome.Kill: Galaren DuMarc, who is a tit.

What did I do to earn this sadism?

Marry: That stupid dragon. I don’t have high hopes for her skills as a spouse; the male drakes I’ve encountered never seem all that happy. But I’m equally sure that fucking her would kill me, so marriage it is.Fuck: Corypheus. ‘Know your god’ indeed.Kill: Meredith. Always kill Meredith.

Damn, this is a challenge:

Marry: Rutherford, because much of my life has already consisted of him nagging me, so might as well make it official.Fuck/Kill: The problem is that if I kill one of them, the other will also kill me. So I fuck both Krem and the Iron Bull, and then kill them both in single combat.

Of all the religiously-themed questions I’ve been asked, this is both the best and the absolute worst.Kill: The Maker, because he hasn’t done shit for me lately/ever. And you saw what happened to poor Andraste.Marry: Corypheus, because we’ve already done the dance where he drains me of the best years of my life, wrings me dry for all I’m metaphorically worth, and then leaves me.Fuck: He’s not actually a wolf, is he? That’s just a name or title, right? I have standards.

Hmph.

Yes? I feel like there’s a trick here.

It has been so long since I slept with someone. Children have grown to adulthood. People have aged and died of natural causes.

As for the second part, how dare you. The nerve, the AUDACITY. Cullen is terrible, face-wise. And personality-wise. And I have never even once followed him around at a distance. How do I know that YOU are not the one sleeping with him, and this is all a clever ruse? Checkmate, bastard.