in the forest, in the night

procrastination !

I vacillate between doing favors for future me because I love her and doing this to future me because haha fuck you bitch

i love finding out the meaning of slangs for “attractive woman” in various languages

chick (english) - baby chicken Schnecke (german) - snail/slug sild (danish) - herring fıstık (turkish) - pistachio тёлочка (russian) - heifer ծիտ (armenian) - sparrow

Girls night

Yet more unrealistic body standards for women 🙄😤

elizabeth swan and will turner are actually SO romance in the first movie and not enough people acknowledged this because the early 2000s were the age of the edgelords who only valued jack sparrow’s moral ambiguity and that is the TRUTH

the part where she’s like “how many times do i have to tell you to call me elizabeth” and he shyly says “once more, miss swann” and once she walks away he gazes adoringly after her and whispers “elizabeth” to himself like he’s unworthy of it

then when he’s patching up the cut on her hand and she flinches and he says “i know, blacksmith’s hands… they’re rough” because he thinks that’s what’s bothering her HE KNOWS HE’S NOT WORTHY OF HER!!! THAT’S THE PINING I’M TALKING ABOUT BINCH!!! I DON’T ACCEPT LESS!!!!

he has like 10 chances to confess his love to her but waits until he’s dressed like this to do it: 

my man knows 1) the importance of a good outfit when shooting your shot 2) how to ACCESSORIZE. take NOTES.

That’s how I would dress if I was gonna confess my undying love to Kiera knightley

Tarja and Marko then and now...

Phantom of the Opera 2005 || 2023

🦦

master post of dogs celebrating passover

If I may:

obligatory

Cats: Muslim

Dogs: Jewish

Guinea pigs and 12th century birds: also Jewish apparently

if any body else ever learns how to edit a PDF or use excel im out of a job. that is the only thing i do here. then again, given the likelyhood that someone will actually figure out how to edit a PDF, im pretty sure im set for life.

now if you'll excuse me, im off to go explain the concept of an external harddrive. again.

on the one hand, information security is tight as hell. Chances of a data breach are near zero.

On the other hand, its because he keeps everything in a notebook. He runs his entire company out of a spiral bound notebook. and his phone.

Have moment of silence for me. Imagine what doing taxes in this mess is like.

he built his own procurement and logistics company after getting laid off during covid. i drew him a logo. His entire business model is just 'What if we shipped things straight to an Alaskan port rather than Seattle then trucking it through Canada? seems cheaper'. that's it. that's all the thinking that went into this. he's got connections in the industry all over the state as well as overseas, because Pre-covid-layoff this was more or less his day job and he kinda just showed up and said 'hey, I'm bored of early retirement. let's try it'

this is a business that fits in a notebook. last year grossed 7 figures.

This is his retirement hobby along with spoiling his toddler grandchild. Hes unavailable for meetings because he's constantly running off to go do retired old man shit.

Meanwhile, various business partners are just floored by his revolutionary new strategies. He's shaking up the industry, hes a game changer for the entire region. And everybody is aware that he's technically all ready retired. And that his company is a one man show. (I feel I should emphasize that this whole scheme consists of "What if we didn't ship the stuff 2000 miles in the wrong direction?")

So the question of long term planning is literally driving people insane. Does he have a five year plan? No. He did his planning for the future, he's already drawing a pension. He main concern is getting his granddaughter to call him something other than Gwawa and weasleing out of changing her diapers. There are international companies that must bow to the whims of a toddler. Mining and drilling claims with 99 year leases that find themselves hoping that this man doesn't pick up any more hobbies.

And then there is me. Who shows up maybe twice a month to make the magic computer box go brrr and coo at the grandchild.

Hey. Wait. Quick clarification. This is 1000% a nepotism situation. I am not doing this because he hired me to do so. He is my father-in-law and the things he needs help with are things I can half-ass with one hand while making small talk. The grandkid is my niece. For my own sanity, I can not be having this conversation.

the beautiful original post by @garaks-padded-bra can be found here, with additions from @acrowbyanyothername, @starfleetshrimps, @imhaley, @ronzyponyo, @funnywormz, @deepestturtlepielover, @willowandthesagaofgayyearning, @summer-azure, and @spacetronomyfan

(as always, omagpies stuff drops on Patreon @/magpiecrown one month in advance, and there’s already a hefty backlog awaiting everyone 💗)

it's dawned on me that no one can stop me from my childhood dream of having a bed tent

i could at last fulfill my deep-rooted need to be Enclosed

this barbie contracts dysentery on the oregon trail

These appeal to my need for creature comforts

I am a Creature and I want to crawl into a little Cave and Snooze or perhaps Hibernate

lol

Harry Potter is dying

Reblog to make it die faster

I don’t understand why everyone liked it for so long, it was so mid.

Because they were 10 years old and hadn’t read a better series yet lol

ursula k le guin was right

all of it, more or less

Oh go on, swing the bat at the hornet’s nest, post her takes on Watership Down

That’s the bunny!

I’m not going to trouble the OP of this post with more notes by fighting with people in the comments but. If people want to fight about knowing less about Watership down than I do they are welcome

What an autistic person says: "How long is it going to take?"

What they mean: "I want to know whether to activate my short term waiting mode where I just wait and do nothing else, or activate my long term waiting mode where I occupy my mind with something else. I fully understand that both are possibilities, and I have no problem whatsoever with either one, but I want more information so I can best adapt to the situation."

What neurotypical people hear: "I am impatient and demand that everything I want happen right now. Please scold me and publicly humiliate me for it."

What is the “neurotypical version” supposed to be? I don’t see how a neurotypical would approach this without asking how long it will take / how long they have? Like, everyone needs to know if they have time to do something or not, and whether they should be waiting or not. But I’ve also never seen neurotypicals get offended about someone asking how long something will take unless their tone is very obviously Karen-esque because it’s obvious that they’re asking because they want to know, and not because they’re impatient. Impatient people don’t just casually ask how long things take. An impatient person would be like “UGH, how LONG is this going to TAKE??” and not care about the answer because it wasn’t actually a question, it was a complaint dressed in a question suit. Anyone else will just say “How long is this going to take?” in a normal voice.

passing as a man is SO fucking weird. like yeah i like that I'm being called he/him by strangers. No I don't want to be the only person guys take seriously when im hanging out with my non-male friends. What the fuck.

it's just. a very sudden shift to being percieved/treated with priviledge everyone seems to take for granted. it is legitimately destabilising. esp when I'm around people who've only known me post-T bc they have no conception of how new this is to me.

@the-gayest-dragon no literally, its fucking surreal how cis men just. seem to see me like more of a person now. i dont think i even realised how bad it was before. I always thought it was smth about me being obviously queer or outwardly weird/autistic but no its just bc i didnt have facial hair.

@academia-lucifer

eleventh plague. emails. 

Pharoah, I hope this email finds you letting my people go

as per my last plague,

watching this was a religious experience

I have never been more motivated to learn a new hobby

Needle felting is the best hobby!!! And I should do this honestly. I have so many slightly fucked sweaters...