Rust Viper

“Oi, ya ever heard o’ that new thing they recently invented? It’s called knockin’!” Seriously, finally he had the luxury of his own quarters and no one was respecting it. “What do ya want, snake?”

“MMmn...nah, ain’t much one for that nerdy science stuff,” Came a teasing response, Viper sticking his tongue out. Who knocks, anyway? “Roight, one of those...precision screwdriver thingies...maybe some extra gauze....” Right to the point, completely ignoring the fact that he’d already agitated the rat.

redheadreptile  :  viper.

“  i’d neva’  mess wit’  YOU , mate. ”  one of the  truest  things junkrat had ever  SAID , as usual concerned habits are non - existent , even  when viper displayed the  WEAPON.  he knew , for  sure , that he’d  NEVER  end up on the blade - end of it  —  not in a  million  years.

“  true , true.  ”  tongue  clicks , tracing the  motions  with his  EYES  as the other speaks.  “  ya know me  so  well.  gotta get tha’ personal  FLARE  of killin’ in there , y’know ?  even if it’s a  lil’  bit  EXTRA  of me  …  ”

“Really? Well, I guess...I got that goin’.” Viper still somehow found himself a bit surprised when people took him seriously as a threat. It seemed that every other average joe fancied themselves some kind of badass these days. Oh well. Their loss when they wound up eating their words and egos.

“‘Course I do. Yer me mate! ‘Sides, ain’t one for quick n’ quiet, are ya? Like that loud and proud shit. Practically our signature.” He turned his head away, face softening thoughtfully. “...I...hmn. You really are my friend, huh?” It was so...odd to think about. Viper just didn’t really have friends. Who could he trust? Apparently, this crazy blonde. “Heh, makes me wonder what’s going on in that head of yers, to go along with that kinda thing.”

redheadreptile:

     “All depends, really. I think Reservoir serves things like filet mignon, ratatouille, various kindsa duck and quail dishes– when I went, I had somethin’ with mushrooms and greens? Couldn’t pronounce it off the tip o’ my tongue, though.”

“I have no idea what those first two things are, but they sound fancy n’ prolly real good. Dunno how I feel about GREENS but....well, I mean, big boy’s gotta eat.” He threw an arm around Stash’s shoulder, giving the other man a light pat on the chest. “Ya know, you ain’t so bad! So , go on. Lead the way! Let’s get some grub. Surprise me.”

he took a bath for this

“I’m hungry…where’s a good place to eat? What sounds GOOD roight about now, huh?”

     “Sara’s Gourmet Pizza and Burgers, right down the street. And if junk food ain’t yer fancy, there’s a place called Reservoir downtown. Traditional French cuisine.”

“Tsssh hahahaha....do I LOOK like the picky type? Pizza sounds great, but what do they even serve in those fancy places, huh? Never been...”

felt like doodling Genyatta today !!

redheadreptile  :  viper.

“  heh.  says YOU ,  ”  playful  banter  overtakes the conversation , HARMLESS  insults being tossed  half - heartedly  &  junkrat snickers ; quirking a brow before  speaking  up once more ,  “  better watch ya  back , then !!  us junkers are  WILD  an’ unpredictable  —  jokin’ , ‘course. ”

“Are ya, though? HMMM? Mighty suspicious~ I mean, if yer plannin on backstabbing me later, I got a knife roight here...” Just to illustrate his point, he pulled his knife from his pants, holding it out to Junkrat by the blade with a smirk.

“But I mean....back’s a bad place to go for, anyway. Go for the throat, so they say! N’ it works....spleen, maybe....heart’s always good.” He chuckled, crossing an ‘x’ over his chest where his heart would be. “‘Course, if you want a fucker dead, I’d figure you’d rather take ‘em out with a bang, hm?”

Just Australian things.

Bigger version http://s0s2.deviantart.com/art/Junkerboxing-684470441

I can definitely relate to this.

redheadreptile:

     Gaze sharply turned to the voice ( for most had long since banished the man’s maddened rambling to background noise ) with an expression bordering on the bothered; brows knitted together slightly, eyes holding the hint of a squint at the disbelief in the other’s voice–he didn’t believe him. Granted it certainly wasn’t a TRUE story, but one cared for the benefit of the doubt. 

     It wouldn’t have been the first case of such a thing in the Outback. Coy grin pulled back the corners of his lips in a state more amicable to the stranger, mischief plastered across his features dangerously. 

❛ I ain’t much one for shame, mate. Let me tell you–there was definitely runnin’. ❜

“Tsk, yeah? Now, was it on yer end or theirs?” He tried to imagine a three-legged Junker running and, he had to admit, the thought was beyond amusing and he snickered, shaking his head slightly. 

“And ya know, just lookin’ at ya I can tell you don’t much feel shame. So, y’know...that goes unsaid. But hey....” He cocked his head, grin growing. What could he say? He liked being a cocky little shit.

redheadreptile  :  viper.

“  mmm.  naw.  ”  everyone eventually  LEFT , didn’t they ?  hopefully this  WOULDN’T  have the  same  outcome.  “  jus’ not used t’ people stickin’  ‘round , y’know ?  ”

“Tsk, I’ll bet not...” He tossed Junkrat a playful smirk, interlacing his fingers behind his head and rocking on his feet some. What a weird situation to be in. Then again, for Viper, people he could call ‘friend’ were awfully rare. “But hey, I mean, what reason would I have for fucking off, hn? I mean, not like you’ve tried to stab me in the back...and yer kinda funny for a jumpy prick.”

     ❛ —–Oh, trouble was afoot - they were eatin’ mine, toein’ the party line, I was startin’ to feel, “these guys are heels” But, the truth be told, them cannibals have got sole. ‘ Hey, numbskull, lookit me, I got a bone to pick with thee–ya ain’t humerus, stop ribbin’ me; have a spine kid, bone up on settin’ me free ! ❜

So. Many. Puns. Viper had the most dead expression on his face, blinking slowly as he waited for the other to finish. Then, just as he was done,he took a sip from his beer. And THEN he snickered.

“That was awful n’ you should feel bad....but I bet they got the runs after.”

✰ any of y’all ever wanted to write with an overwatch oc who’s strong enough to bench press your muse and potentially knock their ass out with a single hard slap? the same oc who loves botany and cries over how cute elephants are? then boy do i got some good news for you ‘cause she exists. ✰

✰ like/reblog this hot mess of a promo if you’re interested in interacting with this championship pro wrestling chick. written with love by manny. ✰