he's dreaming about you tonight. you don't know, whether that be because he's too shy to tell you or because he enjoys having a sweet little secret, but you're on his mind when nothing else is. he sees your face even in sleep, he feels your lips on his while they're so far apart. your touch is blooming over his skin under his blanket and your voice is lulling him even deeper into his slumber, where he's smiling and shifting in the bed you belong with him in.
"God Anubis" by Emile Corsi, 1877
It’s absolutely fine if your nonhumanity brings you a lot of positivity and happiness. It used to be that way for me as well when I was still a kid/pre-teen, newly awakened and full of seeing it as something magical.
But I can’t deny that as I grew up, it only brings me constant species dysphoria. Pain and sadness. The need for something that doesn’t exist. And I wish that wasn’t the case.
Little comic about species dysphoria and the strain I feel living as an autistic nonhuman
Something that a mutual of mine mentioned is how they struggle with not being supernatural and this world not being supernatural. Growing up with some delusions and especially a werewolf one, especially after being introduced to physical shifting cult packs, it really took a toll on me. That the world is ordinary, that I can’t actually turn into a wolf.
Hence why physical shifters and clinical zoanthropes had and have such an impact on me. I constantly live in this other world, wishing and trying to make myself believe that it’s all real. That I am a werewolf, that I can’t shift for some reason at the moment (my theory being that I’m underweight and was a late bloomer in puberty/growth as I was born premature, plus my brain and everything else not being entirely fully developed at 22 yet as that’s the case with human bodies), but that in the future I’ll be able to. That I could one day shift and temporarily run away as a wolf when I needed a break, or become a senseless beast that attacked people to help my trauma, as I’ve been abused for nearly my entire life so far. Or that I can’t shift in general due to what I mentioned, and am just a shiftless werewolf. Yet I know that’s not the truth, but I try to convince myself it is. Really hard. To make myself feel better and that I am who I’m supposed to be. I try to make this world magical and supernatural even if it isn’t. And the fact that it isn’t, pains me so, so much.
As long as they aren’t hurting you or other people, delusions aren’t always harmful. It would be perfectly fine for me to live in that world if it makes me feel better. To believe that I’m a werewolf who simply can’t shift, as opposed to someone trapped in a human body with no outlet. That I truly am what I believe I am and am supposed to be, and not only human.
This!
But also, if your partner has a vagina, make sure you've washed your junk/hands and make sure your fingernails are cut and clean BEFORE doing anything sexual. This is ESPECIALLY NECESSARY if they are on their period, as it increases susceptibility to UTIs.
It's literally the least you can do (besides nothing), to ensure you are being safe and healthy.
a reminder that you are gorgeous by default. you are beautiful as a baseline. you're really pretty. also you're cool
oh god what the fuck oh Jesus what is happening to you
when will ppl understand the struggles of puppy weed doggies everywhere ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა
