• “what are we, nerds trying to look at boobies?”
• “i’m your boss, give me your pants.”
• “i love that outfit, you look so sexy in that.”
• “i’m fully aware of your allergies.”
• “here’s an idea, next time, instead of being late, just shit on my face.”
• “you said i was your soulmate.”
• “work doesn’t reassure you that liking a finger up your ass doesn’t make you gay.”
• “but you’re actually really emotionally damaged.”
• “you have really big eyes and it freaks me out sometimes.”
• “why do relationships start off so fun, and then turn into suck a bag of dicks?”
• “i’m just gonna’ shut myself down emotionally.”
• “i’m gonna’ change your life. i’m that girl.”
• “i could post a video of me mixing cake batter with my boobs and it would get eight million hits.”
• “what are you, a gazelle?”
• “don’t be the guy who shit the bed.”
• “puppy dog eyes. nice touch.”
• “wanna’ get this guy out of my face before i break his fucking skull?”
• “you don’t fucking know me man.”
• “i took his virginity.”
• “does the carpet match the drapes?”
• “run gazelle! run!”
• “i have this thing at work. it’s called google.”
• “if you tell anyone about this i will rip your ears off and staple them to your neck.”
• “everyone in this city seems really violent.”
• “do you want to get your shit out of my car or what?”
• “go and fuck a dick.”
• “i’d love to take you out one night and trawl for cock.”
• “we can tear this shit up.”
• “hey, no skin. more pipe for me.”
• “you sure you’re not gay?”
• “i’m not fucking asking you out i swear to god.”
• “god, you’re such a girl.”
• “girl, you are preaching to the congregation.”
• “this shit is amazing.”
• “i love that sunsets make you cry.”
• “i wish my life was a movie sometimes.”
• “god, i miss sex.”
• “hold me, let’s spend the rest of our lives together.”
• “i don’t even know if i find you attractive.”
• “i do have a thing for jerks.”
• “i liked your eyes. i didn’t think i’d ever seen such big beautiful eyes.”
• “and your lips, yeah, i thought you might be a good kisser.”
• “you swear you don’t want anything from me other than sex?”
• “you have a bible app?”
• “no relationship. no emotions. just sex.”
• “come on, okay, you’re beautiful. you have nothing to be insecure about.”
• “that is way too emotionally supportive and you need to just lock that down.”
• “your ass is a little bony.”
• “i sneeze sometimes after i come.”
• “feet gross me out. daddy issues.”
• “what are you trying to do, dig your way to china?”
• “nobody wants to fuck obama.”
• “what are you my fucking therapist now?”
• “every time you curse, you blink. like your body’s rejecting the word.”
• “as a sign of rebellion, you got a tattoo.”
• “harry potter doesn’t make you gay!”
• “my butt is cramping can you grab a pillow?”
• “do you feel manly now?”
• “are you pooping?”
• “all you have at home is drinkable yoghurt.”
• “it was like talking to dirt.”
• “i’m starving, you got any gin?”
• “i’ve turned down more tail than you’ll ever have.”
• “me likes cock, so i’m strickily dickily.”
• “i’ve been in love, i went down that rabbit hole.”
• “one day, you will meet someone and it will literally take your breath away. like no oxygen in yours lungs. like a fish.”
• “i told him you were my gay best friend.”
• “he smells like a girl.”
• “the sneak out. how incredibly cliché of you.”
• “no, go fuck yourself.”
• “trust me, you don’t suck in bed.”
• “forget the douche, he’s a dick. he’s a dickdouche.”
• “get your feet off my bed, they’re disgusting.”
• “we’re one of these crazy families that don’t lie to eachother, pbs is doing a documentary on us.”
• “nobody cares, you sound like an asshole.”
• “i just need you to be my friend right now.”
• “okay, so i’ll listen to you while you give me a handjob.”
• “i’m a magician, not a wizard. you and your gay harry potter.”
• “you can’t deny going to hogwarts would be life changing.”
• “all that matters is how you look at him.”
• “i haven’t seen you this dumb since you got that candy corn tattoo.”
• “you wanna’ be happy? find someone you like and never let them go.”
• “are you pissed off at me because i didn’t cuddle?”
• “i actually thought you were different.”
• “with friends like you who needs friends?”
• “i have the perfect body for photoshop.”
• “my prince charming? you.”
• “if you even think there’s a chance she might be it, fix it.”
• “if i ever see you again, i’ll crush your earlobes and make soup stock out of them.”
• “it’s some prince charming shit though, right?”
• “i want my best friend back, because i’m in love with her.”
• “on one condition. kiss me.”

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED STARTERS PT. 1 feel free to change pronouns.

‘ don’t take it personally,____. he doesn’t trust anyone. ’ ‘ whoa! where have you been all my life? ’ ‘ pinch me, i must be dreaming. ’ ‘ this is just too weird. ’ ‘ i’ve seen stranger things.’ ‘ uh, what’s plan b? ’ ‘ are you always so eager to fight? ’ ‘ do I sense fear? ’ ‘ you have no idea how corny that sounds. ’ ‘ i’m not really a people person. but, when you need help - and you will - call me. ’ ‘ aren’t you gonna thank me? ’ ‘ will you show some dignity for once in your life? ’ ‘ you can’t scare me, ____. ’ ‘ well, i’m off to avenge your deaths. ’ ‘ i suppose this is a bad time to say I told you so. ’ ‘ i’m used to being thanked when I save someone. ’ ‘ which might explain why you can’t get a date. ’ ‘ oh, ___, i’m hurt! how could you have this little party without inviting me? ’ ‘ oooh, this must be the part where I get so scared, I spill my guts. ’ ‘ and now I’m a freak. ’ ‘ what did you ever see in him? ’ ‘ i can’t think - i’m tired and hungry… ’ ‘ hey, we’ve both got a martian’s phone number on our speed dial. i think i deserve the benefit of the doubt here. ’ ‘ weird. am i the only one creeped out here? where is everyone? ’ ‘ you watch too many movies. ’ ‘ guess you’re not as dumb as you look. ’ ‘ this calls for a little travelling music. ’ ‘ and i thought ____ was creepy. ’ ‘ i, uh, only read it for the articles. ’ ‘ you stupid, ignorant, pathetic excuses for heroes! ’ ‘ do you think I care? ’ ‘ well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine? ’ ‘ as far as I’m concerned, this mission’s over. ’ ‘ i know, i scare a lot of people. ’ ‘ sorry, but my identity’s a secret. chicks dig that whole “man of mystery” thing. ’ ‘ whose hand is that? ’   ‘ you think you can kill me? you’re welcome to try. ’ ‘ I had to fix my hair. ’   ‘ i don’t have to do anything. ’ ‘ you stupid little man. ’ ‘ and they say i’m scary. ’ ‘ i’m so dead… ’ ‘  i, uh… hey! how’d you like a snack? ’ ‘ and do people really talk so much when they fight? ’ ‘ i’m surprised to see you here. from what I’ve heard, this isn’t really your sort of affair. ’ ‘ i do my best work in the dark. ’ ‘ and what’s wrong with the way i dress?! ’ ‘ i think i need some mouth-to-mouth. ’ ‘ you’re always bad cop. ’

+ @araneaostium