Chaos

attention joann's shoppers. there is a freak in the yarn aisle buildinf a nest

i feel like high school/middle school sitcoms set the unrealistic expectation of being able to have lunch time outside

ok because apparently i'm wrong about this, reblog with where you live and whether you got to eat lunch outside during school or not

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.

The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.

No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.

Oh yes.

"but if we made healthcare and food and housing and education and internet free then the economy would collapse" setting aside the whole "the very fact that you're saying that is proof your system is unjustifiably bad" thing for a second, like, dude.

let's get capitalist here for a second.

there's so many goddamn things to spend money on.

there's so many video games. there's so much music. there's so many movies to watch and so many streaming services to subscribe to. there's so many books to buy and nerdy fandom t-shirts to purchase. SO many nerdy fandom t-shirts. there's so many cool cars and backpacks and after effects plugins. there's so many water bottles and cute mugs and paintings. there's so much software. there's so many sculptures and tchotchkes and fresh coats of paint and fun blankets and graphics cards. there's so many fun socks and colours of sculpey. there's so many rad gaming keyboards and novelty salt shakers and leather jackets and cool umbrellas and hair pins. there's so many nerdy fandom t-shirts, dude. there are so fucking many nerdy fandom t-shirts.

there's so so SO much stuff that I am SLAVERING AT THE MOUTH to pay money for, there's so much fucking stuff that people desperately want to stimulate the economy by purchasing, but can't because their money is being burned on basic necessities.

you want to make the economy better? your precious capitalist economy that you jerk off to every night?

give people the opportunity to spend their god fucking damn money, dude.

like cmon dude

This is so wholesome

Update: he finally got the cat to the vet to see if she had a microchip

I was already on board with his sweet wholesome open-to-love-and-nurturing heart but I was fully unprepared for getting to that last tweet and seeing how off the hook HOT dude is

https://twitter.com/pariszarcilla?lang=en heres his twitter is here there is also additonal cat photos of his children. 

CAT DAD IS BACK

aww, the kids grow up so fast. ;-;

HHHHHHHH I LOVE CAT DAD!

This is, by far, the single most adorable fucking thing I have ever seen. 

update:

I love that he kept …. All of them.

I’ve reblogged the earlier part of this thread before, and the new stuff makes it even better.

This is the Tumblr equivalent of a warm hug on a cold day.

You’re welcome.

I remember this thread, but I never saw the grown-up pics ❤

@every-n-anything

All hail Catdad

I saw Catdad for the first time today, and my day instantly became exponentially better.

I’M CRYING!?

CATDAD HAS REVIVED MY WILL TO LIVE

I live for cat dad-

Cat dad has saved us all

CAT DAD!!

I had not seen the updates. I am so happy that the Cat Gods smiled upon this person and their new family :)

He’s got more recent pictures (and is also an INCREDIBLE artist), but this is the fam circa May 2020 :>

It’s been over a year? Where is cat dad? Where is he?

Fear not, CatDad is still happily with us:

Cat Dad 2022 pic.

It’s been far too long since I saw these guys. “Heartwarming” doesn’t begin to touch it. :)

CAT DAD

Ngl this is kinda hilarious

Makes sense. I mean, a passenger of a cruise line isn't called a sailor, right? Astronaut literally means "star sailor."

OP how could you not include the first paragraph of the article

Huge oversight on my part you're absolutely right

work from december 2021, reworked

I'm just a little baby in a crib watching a mobile spin above me

its the space filling curve :D

”getting thicker skin” is great in theory but I think for some people “get better at handling your thin skin” is gonna be way more helpful advice. I have strong emotional reactions to criticism and they might never go away, but i can continue to try and handle each situation maturely and that’s the important part. Sometimes irrational feelings are chronic and living with them is better than trying to beat yourself up into not having them.

#EXCCTLY THIS #if you have the fragility of an expensive vase then get yourself a table with stable legs to keep you from toppling over. ok #you shouldn't live your life in bubble wrap because you are meant to be seen and appreciated. ok #there might be accidents and you might shatter but you can be put back together again as a whole new piece of art and you will be sturdier #you will be okay. you are a fragile expensive vase and you need some extra care. but you will not live in a box full of bubble wrap.

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

Oh, love that story, adding it to the list: 20. Princess Talia and adding a few more contenders 21. Thyme 22. The Monster under the Bed 23. A Meaningful Death 24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t 25. The Monster under the Fridge 26. Antler Guy 27. Cleric slamming healing spells

Adding a few more I remembered:  28. The Frog and the Scorpion 29. HSTHETE 30. The First Witch in the World 31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests  32. A Faerie taking a Name  33. The Dragon on the Farm  34. Synovus & Menace  35. Raising the Anti-Christ  36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved)  37. Doctors without Borders…in Space!  38. The Villain-Wrangler  39. The Last Contact  40. The 100 Parent-Point Children  41. And the Heavens Wept  42. The Night Gentleman  43. The Serpent God and their Priestess 

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

Wow! @writing-prompt-s contributing to like half of these!

I can hardly take any credit for these stories! But I love sharing them. Unfortunately I cannot read all the prompt responses so please tag me if you want me to reblog a story that resonated with you so I can give it a little boost :)

a fun side effect of "every trans man passes easily" is that it takes the narrative around transphobia aimed at trans men from "it's barely anything, you're just being whiny" to "you deliberately brought this on yourself by making it obvious to everyone around you that you aren't a real man just so you'd have something to complain about". For bonus points combine that with the idea that trans men "play up" their agab specifically to oppress trans women and you end up with "trans men facing transphobia is indicative of transmisogyny on the part of the trans man". And now you have carte blanche to tell any trans man you want to kill himself and gain trans ally points for it. follow for more life hacks

hope it's ok to highlight these tags from prev

I’m glad you liked them! If you don’t mind I’ll take the chance to expand a little. I think a lot of this comes from a pervasive shared pain in the trans community: in many—especially queer—spaces, womanhood/femaleness is seen as inherently safe and manhood/maleness is seen as inherently unsafe. To be treated as safe and allowed to participate in safe spaces and access certain resources (e.g. for sexual violence), you must connect yourself to womanhood — which of course frequently manifests as transphobia.

Trans women are usually nominally included in the spaces that exclude trans men. But in practice all transfems are held to extremely high standards to prove they’ve overcome their perceived maleness enough to become safe, and if they don’t meet them they’re treated as invasive men making others unsafe. Transmascs, especially those that can pass as cis men, are also treated as inherently dangerous and subject to the same “I hate men” “you’re an oppressor” “stay out of women’s spaces” types of comments. However some are still able to access those spaces, be treated as safe, and have their pain and oppression taken seriously, if and only if people can treat them as women. This sometimes does mean making themselves more feminine — this is not unique to trans men, queer cis men do this as well because they are pressured to.

This is not a good thing for transmascs. It is not a good thing for transfems. It is not good for non-binary folks that people treat as “woman-lite” or “basically just a man.” None of us deserve to be misgendered, for any reason, and this treatment is all transphobic. Femininity is not inherently safe and masculinity is not inherently unsafe. We desperately need to accept this or we will never be normal about TGNC folks, ever.

Americans not knowing American Geography is never not funny to me

LA isn't in a desert, Connecticut is a state, they don’t speak Dutch in Pennsylvania, Gary Indiana exists

The LA situation is complicated, actually, and referring to it as such for laypeople can be useful. Plus the Mojave is like, right outaide LA, so even if you still want to side with not calling it a desert it's understandable why they think that.

no tumblr i'm not gonna spam those so the left counter overflows and turns into "TUM" or something equally corny

Holy shit that's op's own post

thank you dildo-smith Matt for chiming in, and while we're at it let's actually just go through the whole tl;dr pros/cons of the different families of lube!

water-based:

silicone-based:

oil-based:

#literally not into sex in the slightest but i feel this information is important enough for a reblog

I really appreciate when people share info even when it's not relevant to them personally! you never know who might be following you who will really benefit from seeing it :)

"the problem with booktok is that it romanticizes toxic relationships blah blah blah" NO!! the problem with booktok is that its a community that talks about, produces, and consumes published novels the same way people talk about, produce, and consume fanfiction. every issue with booktok (lowbrow subject matter, oftentimes poor writing and editing, a disproportionately heavy focus on erotica, books described via tropes (tags) instead of plot synopses, thinly-veiled misogyny) boils down to that. i don't give a single solitary shit if colleen hoover is writing toxic step-sibling incest romance! i've come across weirder shit this week on ao3!! what i do care about is the fact it reads exactly like an unbetaed oc-centric slash fic and this woman is expecting us to pay upwards of $20 for a copy!! girl i can read mid-tier fic for free any time i want i don't need you!!

Very weird how there’s been multiple people called out for being extremely transphobic towards trans men (misgendering, sending death threats, sending rape threats, accusing them of fetishizing gay men, etc.) and they just start posting shit like “oh but misandry isn’t real. Are people not allowed to hate their oppressors anymore?” and people on this website will just go “oh yep okay” and just completely ignore the fact the original reason they were called out is because they were transphobic

#happens on TikTok too#like a girl kept being transphobic to me and threatening me#like literally misgendering me threatening to hurt me telling me to kms etc#also her defense for doing it was ‘trans women have it worse 🥺’ becuause fucking of course it was#but when she got called out for it she was like#‘b-but man bad and women good 🥺 this MISOGYNISTIC MAN is harassing me and targeting me 🥺🥺🥺’#like she made 20 posts harassing me and calling me misogynistic and lebiaphobic (I think that’s the word?)#AND PEOPLE SYMPATHIZED WITH HER#they were like ‘yeah girl get that misogynistic lesbian hating man!!!’#and harassed ME for calling her out and posting the screenshots of her literally threatening my life#she wasn’t even a lesbian either#and all I said was that she shouldn’t be transphobic to trans men or homophobic to gay men just because she’s queer#people are crazy

good fucking god!