Daisy sat in her usual seat in Ms O'Donnell's history class and listened as the older woman droned on about the civil war in such a monotone voice it was little wonder many of her classmates appeared to be dozing off.

Looking out the window to her left, Daisy stared longingly at the greenery of the nearby forest, wishing she could be outside in the fresh air, free to think about, dream about, anything she chose.

Instead, she dragged her attention back into the room. The teacher had taken to using words that were far too complex for high school, almost like she was trying to make it more difficult for the less studious to take it all in.

Then, O'Donnell subtlely smirked towards the back of the room.  Daisy turned her head and noticed the frown of concentration on his hansome face, the smirk suddenly making sense.  The woman was taking pleasure from his struggles. Daisy bit her tongue for a moment, lest she say exactly what was on her mind. She turned back to look at her desk before raising her hand.

"Yes Miss Henderson, can I help you?" O'Donnell droned out. Daisy took a deep breath and spoke "so, just to clarify, you are reiterating what is in the textbook, just with more complex language? I mean, there is no new information? I just want to make sure I haven’t missed anything?"

Janice O'Donnell was many things, but usually not cruel, so she felt called out by this girl, who was very quiet usually.  This mouse of a girl was defending the boy struggling at the back of the room and maintaining eye contact with the authority figure in the room as she did so.  Feeling chastened, Janice told the class that was exactly right and that for the rest of the class they could read the text on their own, unable to keep eye contact with the girl.

The boy at the back of the class, watched the exchange between the two with something akin to awe.  Eddie had been going between trying to find just one word that the old bat was saying within the textbook, and sneaking glances at the angel by the window when he heard her ask her question. He was stunned to see the standoff that followed and more so that it was the teacher that broke first.  When they had been told to read quietly he dared a look towards the windows only to see her already looking towards him. She blushed, and shot him a smile, which he returned, before mouthing "thank you". This caused her to duck back down into her textbook, but a slight smile remained.

Inspired by season 4 of Stranger Things, or more specifically one Eddie Munson.

She watched him from across the bustling, noisy cafeteria. As he climbed atop the table he had been sitting at and began to stir up the masses, the smile she kept hidden showed in her eyes for anyone who bothered to notice.

Despite the fact that the student body generally called him a freak, he commanded the room.  She thought he was gorgeous.  Admittedly she was biased, but girls change room chatter indicated it was the general consensus.  For her it wasn't that whole rockstar look he had going, although that certainly had been noted. No, for her it was his eyes, those big pools of liquid chocolate that were so expressive.

None of this had been spoken, she just admired from afar.  She was ... nobody, just a quiet nerd that flew under everyone's radar. So invisible that she didn't even register on target lists of bullies.  That's not to say she didn't have friends, its just that she seemed to be easy to forget.

Her attention snapped back into place when, for a brief moment, her blue eyes met chocolate brown. She was stunned when those very eyes crinkled slightly as he seemed to gift her a smile. But the moment was over before she was sure.  She began to tell herself that she was mistaken, he would never notice her, not when he had cheerleaders giggling as he bowed in front of them.

With a sigh, she stood and walked over to return her lunch tray.  She then headed for the exit. As she walked through the doors she reminded herself that her daydreams were best tucked away where no one could judge or laugh at them. Had she turned for one last look, she would have noticed those brown eyes follow her until the doors shut.

Just another day?

As she sat in the dark tears made their way slowly down her face. She felt like an idiot. The person that was meant to love her without condition could not even remember a simple date, her birthday.

Her needs were not many. She was a romantic by nature, but all she really wanted was someone who loved her, who wasn't afraid to show that, who showed her affection without agenda. Was it really so much to ask?

She had been aware that there were things that they differed on. But now she questioned whether who she was, what she cared about, her favourite things held any importance to him, whether he even considered them.

Had it always been that way? Had it all just been a front, a show to lure her in? It was hard to tell. The years of supposed jokes had chipped away at her confidence to the point where she no longer knew who she was, whether she had any worth, whether her gut could even be trusted anymore.

Should she stay? Should she just put up with knowing that her wants and needs meant nothing? Or should she go? And if so where to? She felt ill just considering her options. It was almost like a physical pain, the heavy feeling in her chest. She didnt know where to begin. If she left would she end up alone? There was a voice in her head that told her she would.

Was she over reacting? Was it just another day ...

A few quiet moments

She stepped off the paved path, onto the sand, and slipped off her beaten up sneakers, slipping them into the tote bag perched on her shoulder. The sand felt cool and soothing on her feet.

The only sound at this early hour the gentle ebb and flow of the waves. It calmed and centred her like nothing else ever managed to do. As she walked along the beach a slight breeze caressed her skin, as if welcoming her.

Finally she found the perfect spot, her spot. Out of sight of any who would wander onto the beach, but with a perfect view of the ocean and the sunrise that was almost there.

Sitting down she opened her bag and took out her sketch pad and pastels, placing them in easy reach, then sat back to wait.

Her life of late had been chaotic so this early morning outing had a double duty. The first was to provide the solace that she needed, a reset if you will. The second was to let out her artistic side and attempt to capture the brilliance of an ocean sunrise.

A few meditative moments later the sun began its morning climb. As the glorious display began, gradually changing from the beautiful deep blue night sky into a riot of pinks, purples, oranges and gold, she marvelled that such a sight was only being viewed by so few.

Picking up her materials, she began to work across the sketch pad, trying to do the sunrise justice. Blending the colours with the pads of her fingers, adding more colour where needed, until she was satisfied with the result. Only then did she raise her head and take in her surroundings.

While she had worked one or two other early risers had joined her. It signified that the day had truly begun and that it was time to head back to the real world. She collected her belongings and got to her feet.

Eventually she began to move back the way she had come, refreshed and ready once more to tackle the world.

Fellow OUAT fans ...

I can be just as much of a fan girl as the next person. The thing is, the actors that we so admire are still people. They can be hurt just as much as we can by unkind words and actions and I think we all need to remember that. I know that at least one of the people I fan girl over had a similar path to me growing up, i.e. not fitting in, shy, quiet. I have so much more admiration and respect for them for overcoming that to become the talent that they now are. When I read the negative stuff that is around at the moment I can't help but wonder how those at the centre of the furore must feel. I try to live by "the Thumper rule" as in, if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all. Maybe this Christmas it's something that we all should try. I am not trying to preach here, I've just been on the receiving end of careless and unkind words and know first hand the damage they can do. I know that it is unlikely that anyone will read this, let alone Jen, Colin, Lana & Adam H. But were they to, I would want them to know that I think they are all doing a wonderful job and hope they continue to do so. As for we fans, let's try to keep it nice. Those guys work hard to give us a show we all clearly love. Let's just enjoy their hard work, let them know how much we appreciate that hard work and try a little of that good will to all that the season is all about. x

Feeling incredibly unnoticed in a world where life is on show

Like a shadow, it is always with me. Waiting. For the opportunity, the stray thought, the thoughtless remark. It strikes and in that moment I am flung back to when the predominant feeling of inability to fit in, to cope, to matter, was all there was. It feels as real in that moment as it originally did, hopeless, cold, solitary, worthless. The grasp it has is momentarily tight, choking tight, debilitating. It feels endless and unbearable. Conscious thought eventually grapples through the darkness, breathing calms somewhat, and reality kicks in. It still is a challenge, but no longer insurmountable.