y/n : do you think i could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?
rick: you're a hazard to the society
daryl: and a coward. do twenty.
my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”
he said, “you have to stop doing that.”
“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.
but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.”
i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”
as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck.
“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”
so, my friends: what are you writing about?
me at 1 am: after this episode I’m done
me at 3 am:
Me lately
Tv show: *pays unusually close attention to my favourite character’s story line*
Me:
others: wait, so we’re not supposed to leave our house?!
me, literally being on tumblr 24/7: bitch, i’ve been training for this my entire life
When you scroll past some badly written smut
i am looking at this post while I’m trying to watch Criminal Minds while I’m supposed to be doing homework.
I kinda wonder what it would be like to tell ur partner that ur unexpectedly pregnant and them being confused like...
Them: How did this happen???
Me/u: Well... Your pull out game is trash...
When you’re too into x reader inserts that you start to hate your otp for being with your man/woman
Not a dream
I did not just see someone refer to snow as "God's c*m"
I did not
*pulls up to the fanfic drive-thru window* uh yeah, i’ll take a fake relationship with a side of mutual pining and thinking the other isn’t interested, thanks
#sure and if you can throw in an extra “sharing one bed” trope, that would be great.
How much is it to supersize to smut?
So if you get smut and fluff from a drive thru where do you go for angst and dark?
That you order from the guy in the trenchcoat in the alley. “You want angst? I got angst”
*sticks my withered goblin paw out from under the bed* psst kid i got ‘they both think the other one is dead for like seven chapters’
Reader: “How much will that be?”
Author: “Just a comment. Please for the love of God leave a comment.”