ven is short for venjamin

My stepdad is so fucking funny sometimes

my brother had a brilliant idea that i wanted to share with other people who have four-legged family members: he trained our two cats to go directly to the door when they hear the fire alarm.

obviously at first the fire alarm sent them scrambling for cover, but he started slowly by giving them treats whenever it went off, when someone burned food or forgot to open the fireplace flu. he then progressed to calling them to the door to offer treats immediately after the alarm went off. and it actually wasn't too long before the cats voluntarily started going to the door upon hearing the alarm.

i think this was genius because in the event of a real emergency we know exactly where the cats will be and we will not have to waste precious time trying to find them to rescue them. i think this method would work equally well with dogs and probably other free-roaming pets such as rabbits, ferrets, etc. and i certainly encourage others to give it a shot!

I trained Neelix to alert me to Sounds. So in the even of A Sound he'd find me to let me know about it. Oven timers, knocking at the door, weird creature stuck in the yard, etc. This has the added effect of being able to scoop him up and bring him to safety in the event said sound is a fire alarm or a tornado siren.

The downside is, when I had a baby, every time it cried he'd barrel into the room to let me know. Even if I was already in the room. And if I couldn't make The Sound stop (because an infant works differently than an oven timer), he'd start biting me urgently. 😅

Confused, but doing his best:

Oh, context is that I'm deaf not that I wanted to create a beast that'd harass me over sounds.

“Aces and aros don’t know the real struggles” yeah my foot

(ID: two memes using the "it's 2023 i'm done arguing / if you hate X i'm straight up murdering you" meme format. the first says "asexuals" and has a picture of the ace pride flag, and the second says "aromantics" and has a picture of the aro pride flag. end ID)

reaction image ive just made for an experience i have so often when talking about ocs with my friends. for when “GRIPS” just isnt enough

my hungry ass could never work at astrophysics

?????????

Oh, it’s you. It’s been a long time. How have you been? I’ve been really busy being dead. You know, after you murdered me.

My friends who just got their first glasses: i need this highly expensive special cloth to wipe them, I also have this eyeglass cleaner from the same company, did you know you shouldn’t use your t shirt unless it’s specifically soft

Me who’s worn glasses since middle school: *slaps soap onto the glasses and washes them in the sink then wipes them with toilet paper* what

Did I stutter

No

Mah men

Our ranks are getting stronger

Science nerd here: the reason dish soap works so goddamn well is because it’s a surfactant. It specifically lifts and encases oil droplets and allows them to be washed away with water. Alcohol on the other hand is a solvent. It dissolves things, but it’s not as good as a surfactant for removing oils. And it can strip lens coatings.

Dish soap is great. Esp when ur a fry cook.

Rub with dish soap, run them under water until soap is gone, blow them dry and they’re as clean as brand new, absolutely nothing else does it. Special glasses cleaner and microfiber cloths are only good for emergencies when soap and water aren’t around.

Hey friends!

My parents own a lens lab (ie they make the rx lenses that go into people’s glasses) so let me just throw in what the industry uses -

My parents have a fancy little thing with the soap and the warm water and the ultra sonic pulse, but for washing glasses at home, dish soap and warm water is 100% where it’s at. You’ll want to rinse the glasses with warm water before turning to the soap, to rinse off small particles that can scratch your lenses if you rub them in (this is, btw, why the spray and microfiber route is generally not preferred). Also you can tap the water off at the end or use a microfiber cloth (my personal preference) to dry it.

met a women today and she was like “i’m mrs smith, soon to be mrs johnstone” and I was like “aww, that’s lovely! are ye gettin’ married?” and without blinking she hit back with “nah i’m divorcing the cunt” a legend tbh

The Ninth Doctor is the kind of person who will take you out for something to eat and say “my treat” but then he remembers that he actually has no money.

fortunately the treat is being out with him

absolutely disgusting, the flagrant lack of support for the bug race worm. completely left behind. nobody even talking about it or trying to help them. Aand you all have the gall to ask who would still love YOU if u turned into a worm? SAD.

It's because we can't see the worm on desktop, and I didn't want to vote for a mysterious rectangle.

so you're telling me you wouldn't love me if i turned into a rectangle either

It’s October! You know what that means... 🎃 (via kxvo)

all my life I’ve somehow only ever seen the gifs of this. I never even knew that the pumpkin man was dancing to the Ghostbusters theme. This whole thing is so much better than I ever could have expected from the gifs omg

Treasure Planet was so right. About everything, but specifically I mean about the whole spaceships and technology blended with 18th century aesthetic.

…so what you’re saying is Susie trusts Kris -

Here's something weird. Mayor Holiday is described as rich and powerful...

(from the Spamton Sweepstakes, Noelle's watch description)

With a big, gated house..

...but in Undertale, in Snowdin, all the Holiday Family had was a cottage.

And Snowdin doesn't have a mayor.

Their political system is just... Undyne and Papyrus.

But Politics Bear also muses about running as mayor...

...implying no one is even running to be mayor at the moment.

What's going on there...?

Why did Susie try to provoke Kris here?

I don’t think anyone really believes it was for shits and giggles. She takes an actual issue with Kris.

And I think we’re supposed to wonder what that issue is.

Here, Susie is upset that Kris won’t talk to or react to her. It actually says she continued because they didn’t react to her.

And she is trying very hard to get them to talk or react to her, and they don’t, at all.

Until they snicker at her.

…which Susie interprets as Kris making fun of her.

And…honestly, Susie seeing Kris bite the apple probably just confirmed that Kris was making fun of her in her mind.

But what makes her “explode”…

…is that they won’t say anything to her. No matter how hard she tries to get them to.

Which is also what pisses her off here.

It’s been proven already that she makes her own interpretations of Kris’s silence as being hatred of her.

And I think the reason she takes particular offense to Kris’s silence…

…is a personal reason to do with their adoption, because she brings up Toriel when she gets really angry both here and in the hallway.

Noelle doesn’t talk to Susie either…

…but recall that on the first day, Noelle gave her a pencil and smiled at her. Susie knows Noelle doesn’t hate her.

So despite Noelle’s quietness, popularity, big house, wealth, “huge opportunity”, and plenty of reasons to be jealous…

 …Susie doesn’t ever bully Noelle.

She just thinks the reason Noelle doesn’t talk to her is because she’s afraid of her.

She doesn’t think for a second it’s actually  because Noelle has a huge crush on her.

When Lancer traps Susie to keep her safe, she stutters in shock for a moment…

But you can actually see the rationalization start in her head.

And she doesn’t let him give her the actual reason.

She just takes it as confirmation that no one would ever want to be her friend and Lancer just wanted to get rid of her.

 All Susie’s interpretations of behavior she didn’t understand were to assume someone hated her, was afraid of her, or wanted to hurt her.

 I don’t think anyone had given her reason to believe otherwise in a long, long time.