Dick, as Robin: You love me, right?
Bruce: yes, of course!
Dick: Well, what if I did something really bad? I mean, like, really bad.
Bruce: What did you do?
Dick: Are you SURE you'd still love me, though?
Bruce: WHAT. DID. YOU. DO
i like to call this ‘popular mlm ships with freakishly similar name dynamics’
this means absolutely nothing i’ve simply been observing this for a hot sec
Jason being a "tall" guy even in the universes where he didn't get dunked in the pit, the difference is that a Jason who got Lazarus's skin care treatment is usually 6'6, the versions of him who don't are usually 5'6 to 6'0.
Batman, who accidentally entered a alternate dimension, seeing a version of Jason who's not towering over him and not as large as a Kardashian's fridge: You're not my baby.
more reverse robins Damian and Dickie
Underrated Percabeth moment. A reminder that Annabeth doesn't just tolerate Percy's humor, she loves him for it. At their most desperate, when they're close to death, when everything seems hopeless, he can still make her laugh.
damian: mother spoke to me today, said grandfather has been cherishing drake’s spleen?
duke: tim… you have a spleen right?
tim: …
duke: right?…
tim: it’s been displaced at the moment..
dick: tim! you need that to live!
tim: i’ll be fine.
jason: you literally won’t.
there's no greater betrayal than finally starting to read a book you've had sitting for months on your shelf or your desk or your nightstand and then finding out it's bad. like. i gave you a fucking home.
the thing about the bats is that they're never lacking pockets. belt compartment, suit pocket, random reinforced lining in a glove, you name it. they've got a million gadgets and items hidden away on their person at any given time. getting them through a metal detector is a nightmare. and it's not all weapons -- it's weird multi-purpose tools, fear toxin antidotes in little vials, different clips for the grapple lines, etc.
the average person looks at a batkid and thinks they have ten, maybe fifteen items on them max. supers with x-ray or magic see a whole car's worth of items carefully layered under the various armor pieces and belts. and somehow every single bat knows where every single item is at any time. just like their dad <3
Jason: Bro. The only dick I have is you, bro.
Dick: *Very heartfelt and almost in tears* bro.
Jason: Dick is so much written by a woman.
Stephanie: Totally.
Dick, the handsome man in touch with his emotions, not afraid to cry, being harrassed because of his butt and overall body, lately known for parenting children this being one of his big trait of personality, SA victim and loves to talk but has too much wrath bottled up: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ???
*Batbros on a case*
Dick: Our killer is targeting a -holes. Think about it, he’s cleaning up the city one a-hole at a time.
*Dick and Jason exchange a knowing look*
Jason: By the way I gotta make a phone call. I know someone who’s in grave danger.
*calls Bruce*
Quote from Scrubs
Roy- Listen to me. You're new, so you might not know this yet, but what's the worst thing about dating a Wayne?
Bernard- Uhh, Bruce's shovel talk?
Roy- No.
Bernard- The late hours they're always working?
Roy- No.
Roy- You'll never be able to steal their clothes.
Roy- They all steal each other's clothes and no one knows what belongs to who half the time.
Roy- I swiped Bruce's housecoat last Christmas because I thought it was Jason's and I still can't look him in the eye
Headcanon for the Bats:
The Bats are absolute menaces to society, in their own weird and unique ways.
—————
Dick refuses to be referred to as anything but “Dick” when in public with his family or even his friends, so no, he will not be referred to by his legal name or any of his common nicknames, but any and all variations or nicknames for “Dick” (Dickie, Dikehead, ect…) are acceptable:
It almost makes Dick a little too happy when any of his siblings yells “Dick” in a crowded room or public place.
One woman actually yelled at Dick and his siblings for their language, that is, until he informed her that Dick is his name. She was so embarrassed she turned a deep shade of red and she apologised.
Dick tried to hide his smirk because he's an absolutely horrible person. His siblings are not impressed, and refuse to admit that it’s kinda funny.
—————
On Father’s Day, Bruce receives a multitude of gifts from his children (whether legal, emotional or biological), as a joke he has to receive at least one gift that has “worst parent ever” on it, from one of them. And while he loves all of the gifts (gag gifts or sentimental) equally, he still has his favourites:
Bruce might enjoy the utter horror and unease a little more than necessary as he uses the thermos Jason bought him for Father’s Day with the words “worst dad ever”, printed on the front, in bright red for all to see.
He is currently forced to endure attending yet another board meeting when one -brave but stupid- new board member made a rather rude comment about how Bruce’s kids shouldn’t disrespect him with such gifts. Which prompts Bruce to go on a tirade about how he should mind his own business, and never speak about any of his kids like that. It got so bad, and he was so furious, that none of the other board members mentioned that the meeting would be ending soon. By the end of Bruce’s speech, their time was up and the meeting had to end.
Not that Bruce was finished. The next day, to work, bruce wore the bright blue tie Dick had gotten him, holding the mug Tim got him that had “Not the best parent, but i am trying my best.” printed on it. And he has continued to wear the things his kids buy him to work, without fail.
No one mentions anything about his clothing choices or the mugs (yes, mugs because there’re multiple mugs with equally concerning words printed on all of them), because if they do, he will go on a tirade about his kids and how much he loves them, and no work will get done.
what if in his early robin days when Alfred insisted he come up to the manor Tim got lost exploring and wandered into the library. what if while Tim was just browsing he turns the corner and runs into bruce towering over him. what if bruce absolutely lost it at Tim and told him to get out and stay OUT of the library (the library was Jason’s favorite room). what if even after jason comes back tim avoids the library like a plague. what if jason found out bruce basically banned Tim from reading(drama queen) and gets PISSED. What if he tore into bruce about it who didn’t even remember the whole encounter until now. what if what if what if
speechless. the pose. the expression. this should be a painting.
i'm no good at painting sorry. i have excessive line work instead
