If I had a nickel for every time I fell in love with a queer, fictionalized depiction of a real-life 18th century thief played by a washed-up, middle-aged comedian in leather pants, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
can we pls talk about thomas jefferson’s bed
like imagine him sliding across the bed and into his office
Impress them with your love-making then impress them with your law-making.
#what the fuck was wrong with thomas jefferson honestly
This would be great
I saw this and immediately knew who’s bed it was
bat mosaic at the rijksmuseum you are all i think about 💖
the paris catacombs are 1000x more fucked up than i imagined
did you know the cops once found a fully functioning movie theater with a well-stocked bar inside the catacombs and they when they tried to go back later to formally investigate it was completely emptied out save for a note that read "don't search for us"
I love this so much.
Definitely
…aaaand! HE DID IT!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
One of my favourite bits of media history trivia is that back in the Elizabethan period, people used to publish unauthorised copies of plays by sending someone who was good with shorthand to discretely write down all of the play's dialogue while they watched it, then reconstructing the play by combining those notes with audience interviews to recover the stage directions; in some cases, these unauthorised copies are the only record of a given play that survives to the present day. It's one of my favourites for two reasons:
i love the concept of divorce lawyers. the only things in the world that have the power to undo your marriage are death itself or a special little boy with a law degree.
til death or some guy do us part
Getting high at the aquarium? Cliche. Catch me zooted out of my gourd at the natural history museum. I turn a corner and see a stuffed grizzly bear and fall to my knees sobbing uncontrollably
Broke: Whoa look at the colors... the movement of the fish
Bespoke: [pacing in the Ancient China exhibit] the eunuchs are lying to us
Just ate an entire pear that was so good and so juicy i started gnawing on it with both hands like an animal and the face my supervisor made when he passed by my desk while I was absolutely consumed by my pear fueled bacchanal was Something i have never seen someone look so tired and also so upset and also also so envious
Cover letter with the vampire
CV update with the vampire
Intake paperwork with the vampire
Workplace Harassment online training module with the vampire
New employee orientation with the vampire
union organizing campaign with the vampire
Mandatory security training with the vampire.
Email phishing prevention training with the vampire
You fucking wish the author was dead. The author is on twitter
2 sentence horror story
same moment different angle
The bullet bandolier over the skirts is a look. 😌
i think "take a hike" is like the funniest response to someone. like dude just get outta here. and go experience the wonder of nature for a bit
ancestral form of touch grass
“vampires wouldn’t want to have sex with their prey because humans are just like soup and a sandwich to them” INCORRECT vampires are little fucking freaks there’s no telling what they’ll do with their human juice box of the month
In 2009, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania stated that Australian wallabies had been found creating crop circles in fields of opium poppies, which are grown legally for medicinal use, after consuming some of the opiate-laden poppies and running in circles
In case anyone is wondering, here is what said crop circles look like.
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Of all potential Crop Circle explanations, I don’t thing *anyone* saw “stoned wallabies” as a candidate, let alone the likely suspect.
I’ll put that on my Bingo list
