it sent you to me without wings

me @ my mutuals

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

If I were tumblr famous this would be a smash hit

I will open the fucking TikTok app just to watch this video multiple times

TIKTOKER: I swear to God, no one tickles my testicles more than the people of my own fucking country. Okay, so like WHAT HAPPENED was this year, this summer, I was in Korea. And I linked up with a homie that I haven't met in a long time, just catching up. "Oh my God, how are you? You GRADUATED? That's insane, where do you work!?" Whatever. Okay.

So there was a conversation about like, food and preferences. So I just asked him! I just asked him: (in Korean, pronoucing "asparagus" as a Korean loan word) "Hey, when you eat steak, do you put asparagus?"

(in English) And this BITCH. He looks at me DEAD STRAIGHT IN THE FUCKING EYES. Has the AUDACITY to just.... degrade, I guess! Ask me: (in Korean) "HAH! Hey, aren't you from America? Why are you calling it (emphasizing the Korean pronunciation of asparagus) ASPARAGUS?"

(in English, in an exaggerated stereotypical American accent) OH, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY! Am I supposed to say ASS-PARA-GUSS? ASS-PARA-GUSS? DO I GO (says his question again in Korean, but breaks up the flow of the speech by pronouncing all the loan words with American pronunciation).

IT FUCKS THE FLOW!!! WHY ARE YOU BITCHING!? I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY! YOU MONOLINGUAL FUCK!!!!

shut up

is that simple task bothering you queen

Well... Rainbow dash told me to tell you her top surgery scars have healed incredibly well over the past years. And that she still thinks of you from time to time. And she misses what the two of you had, the good times, the.. the memories. The laughs. god, the laughs.

Is it really "top surgery" if ponies don't have any breasts up top to surgery?

So apparently some people new to Tumblr think a repost and a reblog are the same thing, so when they see creators asking for people to not repost, they're thinking the creators are saying to not reblog 😭

Y'all, a repost is when you copy/download the work and create a new post using the work making it seem as if it's yours. A reblog is you using a site provided feature to share the creator's post directly from the creator so that it's still credited to them and they still get all of the traction/notes from the work.

Please, reblog fics/art/etc. that you enjoy! Reblogging is not reposting! Creatives need support too, and reblogging is a way to do that!

for the visual learners:

the primordial serpent

@silverbreeze424

As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.

That’s… not how class works

OK, so- my partner was adopted by a rich woman when he was a baby. She's from a prominent family, practically royalty where we're from. She certainly had the means to send him to fancy private school, give him good food, nice clothes/toys, premium healthcare... she chose not to. According to her he was lucky to be "adopted out of poverty" at all and should have been content with what she deigned to give him. And she reminded him of this constantly, all through his childhood.

She dangled the promise of uni in exchange for good behavior and good grades- with terms and conditions, of course. And filling her laundry list of demands was something like pulling teeth whilst jumping through hoops. In the end, did he get to go to uni? Of course not. (And certainly being queer/trans on top of it all did not help things whatsoever).

He cut her off after high school, and when I met him a year ago he had been working as (the equivalent of) an UberEats driver for a living for the last few years, including through the pandemic. (Sixteen hours a day for the equivalent of $6 (six) USD, not including the gas for his shitty rundown scooter; caught COVID twice, suffers from chronic fatigue to this day).

And to this day he still has to be selective about which of our ~leftist anarcho-commie~ friends he divulges this part of his background to- cos all they hear is "raised rich" and then suddenly he's not One of Them because "well teeeeechncially :^) you're from the oppressing class...". Like.... shit, man!

Social rules don't mean shit when it comes to abusive parents. Even rich ones.

Probably especially rich ones.

people are totally on board with the concept of "sufficiently rich people are above the law, and this is bad" but refuse to connect that to the concept of "this also includes laws that protect children from abuse and exploitation"

like we understand "the ruling classes get and maintain their wealth through cruel exploitation of those less powerful" and we can't wrap our heads around "a lifetime of this cruel and merciless behavior being valorized by your peers probably doesn't predispose you to suddenly changing gears once you have a helplessly dependent child that's totally under your control."

like yeah the rich are our enemies in this ongoing class war, absolutely, it's an Us or Them situation to save the planet. but if you don't give a shit about saving the enemy's children too, i don't think very highly of your motivation or your methods.

oh, here's a relevant example I saw just the other day:

A fun fact: my mom was in the upper middle class as a teen/child. She moved out the day she turned eighteen bc her father was horribly abusive. she had NO ACCESS to the income her parents had.

But her parents' income was still counted when she tried to get help from the government for her college classes.

Financial abuse is a thing. Financial abuse is a thing people use against their KIDS TOO. like, someone can be the spouse of a rich person and not have ANY real access to that money bc their name isn't on anything and they're not given a card or money.

failed my bechdel test AND my prostate exam 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 #finalsweek

once in college my friend asked me to come along on a date she wasn’t comfortable with because she knew that I would step in and ruin the mood on purpose if she gave me the signal that she wanted out

I came along, it was awkward, she gave the signal, and I immediately dumped a glass of ice water over my head and said “oh no looks like you have to drive me home immediately to prevent hypothermia” but then she and her bad date thought this was so startling and funny that it broke the tension and got them talking. and then I had to sit around for the rest of their date dripping water and shivering because she decided she was enjoying herself.

The way this is low-key a good example of the language around gender changing in the last 15 yrs lol

That's really good to see actually

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

this is the best album release of all time because where else are you going to get unironic takes like this and then even get a few hundred people to agree with it