like whats ur hair long and blond for?? to get grabbed by?? to get blood in it??

My read on Anders is that he’s somebody who’s felt/been powerless for so long that his internal sense of ‘how capable am I of inflicting hurt?’ is completely fucking broken. Which makes total sense for somebody who (a) has been trying and failing to do things basically all his life (see: Circle escape attempts, making change happen in Kirkwall) (b) has been subject to WHOPPING amounts of institutional abuse and © has been told his whole life that said institutional abuse is because he’s dangerous, and has strong incentive to push back against that idea. A lot of his abrasiveness in party banter makes sense to me in that context. I think, subconsciously, there is a part of him that is forever the powerless mage lashing out at his opressors - even when he’s talking to his friends, or to people less well off than him.

He just… can’t fully process the fact that he does have agency. It’s ‘angry dog on a very short leash’ vibes, y’know? And in a kinder world, he’d be able to get some therapy and work through that But Alas. (anyway if anyone decides to have discourse on this post all I ask is that you not be a jerk about it pls)

if you want to actually start to end homelessness, you need to give homeless people unconditional homes, including when we use them to do drugs or sit around drinking. either housing is unconditional or it isn’t

someone sitting at home alone, an active alcoholic, squandering your charity, drinking all day is better situation than a street homeless alcoholic. someone using drugs in your charity house is better than them doing the same w no shelter

most of you would not like most street homeless people, I definitely don’t and didn’t when I was street homeless. for every one person who uses unconditional shelter to turn themselves around, someone else will do jack shit and very slowly, if ever, work through the issues that made them homeless, will maybe never be able to live independently. still better than street homelessness, still worth doing. ultimately either you believe that shelter should be universal or you don’t

homeless people actually can’t be rehabilitated if you want to end homelessness. we either affirm the right to shelter for the worst drunken, lying, filthy, cheating, self destructive homeless people that exist, genuinely irredeemable wankers, or we concede that shelter is not a right

This post is the distilled essence of everything I believe in.

GOLF WITH NO LIMITS

there’s a big difference between “i’m sad because a character i was emotionally invested in was killed off” and “this character’s death served no purpose, was used for shock value, and is the product of bad writing and i’m upset about that”

i know it’s all just jokes but i think we should fr stop acting like the people around us don’t have inner lives. “npc” becoming an acceptable term to call people is very disturbing to me like genuinely idc if it’s not that deep…. plus the new phenomena of calling things you find no substance in “coworker music/movies/etc” like i get the conceit of the joke but i think when you refer to other people in that way consistently, you start to genuinely become convinced that people are just there to fill the background of your life, that they don’t have hobbies or families or lives beyond what you perceive, and that’s so bad. that’s sooooo bad to think of people

you're so off-putting i need you

chewing on drywall thinking about how many people never pursue phalloplasty because of transphobic misinformation about functionality & appearance & the belief that anything less than the Platonic Ideal of Human Penis is completely worthless

My mother tells me it's not an option for "Someone like me", but I was a little interested in the concept as a potential procedure to look into. Do you have any links where I could read up on it?

I was told that no one who gets phalloplasty feels it, there's no nerves there, the ability to feel pleasure is completely gone, and that there is a high risk for mistakes. I never really believed any of the stuff people told me about it, but I have no other sources to get truthful resources.

Yes! phallo.net is a good resource for information. They have a ton of articles explaining all different parts of the process (including stuff for nonbinary people) and have resources on finding surgeons. (There's also metoidioplasty.net for people interested in meta!). r/phallo on Reddit is another good place to check out. There's a lot of discussion about the process & different experiences, & people post photos ranging from "day after first surgery" to "fully completed, healed and tattooed." You can also check out Finley Games, who has extensively documented his experience with phalloplasty on his blog and in his memoir.

Its not true that phallo means you won't have any nerves or be able to feel pleasure. Nerves are taken from the donor site and connected to the nerves in the pelvis (like the clitoris), & they regrow so that the new penis develops sensation. The most common type of phalloplasty (RFF, where the skin is taken from the forearm) has high success rates. Dr. Blair Peters is a queer surgeon who specializes bottom surgery & has done a lot of work focusing on sensation; they were the doctor who did the study that found out how many nerves are in the clitoris. He has written a lot of articles looking into improving sensation in bottom surgery & their team at OHSU has a guide on how to improve post-op nerve rehab.

Phallo.net has a page on the risks & complications here. It is nowhere near as bad as people will make it out to be (it is extremely unlikely that it will become necrotic, despite how much people love talking about that). From what I know, most complications come from urethral lengthening, which is what is done to allow people to stand to pee. Phalloplasty is much more complicated than top surgery, but its not a butcher job & it has been shown to have a high satisfaction rate despite this. A good doctor will ask you what you want to prioritize and avoid in your bottom surgery, & work with you to find out the best course to take.

Dr Blair is my surgeon! I decided to delay getting phalloplasty for now, but I went all the way through the process up to scheduling the surgery date. I had no idea Dr Blair uses both he and they! That's so awesome!

They're really nice and warm, and really care about what is best for their patients. I have never liked a doctor as instantly as I did them

Some of friends have gotten phallo from him and while I didn't get the privilege of seeing the final results from what I hear it works excellently ;)

I hate when I drink all of my drink and there's no drink left. What the fuckkkkkkk. #sickandtwisted

oh my... short hair zelda... i... i love... i needed this...

i think he is cool :)

@laniardraws and i did an art trade and i had so much fun drawing Link with his loftwing! Skyward Sword holds such a special place in my heart, and it'll forever be a comfort game for me

oh gods it was parents evening again tonight..

That “he talks??” bit gets me

Yeah, kids talk. If your kid doesn’t talk to you, it’s because of one of two reasons:

Kids are not stupid, not at any age level. They pick up on shit and they remember and then when they grow to be teenagers, they know who they can talk to about stuff and who they can’t.

My 13 year old nephew is not particularly affectionate with his mother and he rarely talks to her about anything important, but there are times I can’t get that kid to stop hanging off me and he has those serious conversations with me, like when we discussed his friends coming out to him as bisexual.

It’s not even that hard to make a kid feel loved and welcome. I don’t even know what my nephew is talking about half the time with his games, but they’re important to him, so I let him talk and I make appropriate noises of shock and sympathy when they are needed.

He watches a lot of YT channels, so we’ve discussed the importance of regulating your media, because I don’t want motherfuckers like PewDiePie shaping his world view.

He reads anything from Stephen King to manga and he does that because I’ve been reading him books since he was a baby. I do it with all of my nieces and nephews; when they get school-aged and old enough to read on their own, our “us” time is going to the bookstore and letting them pick out a drink and a book.

Because reading is important to me and I want it to be important to them, too. Now, it’s not something I suggest, it’s something that my nephew asks for.

“I finished my book, Aunt [Dessie], when can we go to the bookstore again?”

And when I tell him a date, I make sure to keep it.

Saying, “You can talk to me about anything” and “you can rely on me” is all well and good, but words are just words. You have to mean it and you have to show them that you mean it.

Otherwise, when it gets to those important moments in their life, they’re gonna shut you out rather than let you in.

Seriously though, you guys. Like.

Here is a secret:

Children and adolescents are actually fucking desperate for adult attention and approval. They really are. Even the ones that have in fact kinda got fucked up so far and have learned that The Only Kind Of Attention They’ll Get Is Bad and so act like shitheads, or the ones that have learned to be inhibited (and it might not even be you who inhibited them, it mighta been their peers or some teacher somewhere, which sucks!) and learned that by showing need they’ll just end up humiliated, or whatever?

Yeah them too.

Kids want to make you happy.

They’re often TERRIBLE AT IT. They’re kids. Their brains don’t work right, their bodies are weird, they have terrible impulse control, horrible deferred satisfaction, they’re shitty at projecting future consequences, and especially if they HAVEN’T been taught they’re probably bad at showing you positive emotions!

They’re BAD AT IT. And they often don’t want anyone to know it. And they’re embarrassed about it.

But they desperately want to. So much.

So one of the most crucial things is:

a) make sure they know how to make you happy. Don’t assume they can figure it out! They probably can’t!

b) make sure that’s something that is literally possible for them to do.

c) make sure, when they do it, that you SHOW THEM YOU’RE HAPPY WITH IT.

It is absolutely ASTONISHING HOW FAST this can create a self-sustaining cycle with the SMALLEST of starts.

Me: I hate gossip

Also me:

Alright Tumblr, I’m putting my faith in you. I’m currently raising funds for a Palestinian family trying to escape Rafah. (The border is currently closed, but it will reopen and when it does, I want all four them to be able to leave). They need $15k and they’re only at $1.3k. If you donate $10 or more, I will draw your requests. All you need to do is donate, and send the receipt to andreadarcyart@gmail.com and I’ll draw your request (as long as it’s not inappropriate). They need help and can no longer apply to Operation Olive branch for aid, so I’m the only one advocating for them. Please help if you can, I would really, really appreciate it.