She swallowed, the same ball around her ankle now resting in her throat. In the years without Edward she had forgotten the way in which her thoughts, abundantly free around Carlisle when speaking became too painful, could be heard by Edward. Her arms tightened around Edward, face willingly burying into his hair to try and forget the image of parents and husbands. Part of her wished to know if Edward knew whether her parents were dead or not. Another part wished to know if Charles had begged for his life as she had begged him for her own.

She breathed in the scent of Edward, instead concentrating on the image of him she was greeted with when opening her eyes in this life. She wanted that light to return to his eyes. "You don't have to know any more," she eventually whispered. "I will be here for as long as you want me to be."

Esme's eyes remained closed. She had only been hunting when Carlisle was home, afraid that should they both leave they would return to an empty house once more. Carlisle knew her anxiety, Edward undoubtedly would know too, but it gnawed at her. If anything, her own grief was doubled by the weight of Carlisle's own. She wasn't sure if she could witness it again— carry his sadness for him while he chose to ignore it.

"I appreciate that." Esme's voice was hoarse, but relieved. "But I do understand that some secrets are hard to speak."

After all, hadn't she killed the only daughter her parents had ever known? She had felt the grief her parents should have felt when losing her, a realisation that made Edward's departure even heavier. "I can't say I have the answers or know why things are they way they are, but I know above anything else I will always be here to help you."

A low growl rumbled up my throat for a moment at the thought of Charles. I rubbed my cheek against her shoulder, trying to show the reaction was not towards Esme, my own arm tightening a little in response. If she wanted to know that monster's end one day, I would tell her. Until then, I would do my best not to dwell. It had been hard enough to accept my greatly diminished control following my return, ruminating on my kills would do no good in regaining it.

"I love you," I whispered. They were words I hadn't often said to Carlisle or Esme, letting my actions assure them of my feelings. But when I had left, it had been under such a cloud of rage and hurt, that I felt it better to just tell them how I felt, no matter how it made my stomach twist a little. I wasn't much used to expressing my feelings verbally.

I flinched a little at the revelation of why they had been hunting separately. Carlisle had kept his thoughts carefully concealed, so skilled in it now that I didn't even notice he was doing it any more. But to know they were afraid to leave me alone, lest I abandon them again? I curled up tighter against her side, as if I could press myself into her very being. I was reminded, dimly, of being very small and doing the same thing, taking in a soft perfume I hadn't smelled in thirteen years.

"I won't leave again," I mumbled into Esme's shoulder. "I promise I won't. And–and especially not like that."

I pressed my lips together, trying to hold in the sob that wanted to bubble forth at her final words. But something about the simple promise to be there had the last of my defences crumbling and I let myself sag fully against her, both arms now around her, as if I were just a child.

ㅤㅤ❝𝓐hh—❞ Liam reached up to rub his right hand along his mouth and down past his chin, letting his hand rest on his side. A clear gesture of being unsure how to talk about such a thing. How honest he was supposed to be. He figured everyone would be trying to be in good spirits about the ordeal; but in the end, the truth was always something one ought to be honest about. ❝—Don't forget that you don't only have to convince Aro, but Caius and Marcus as well. Aro may be the frontman, but there are two others as well.❞ He let out a sigh, searching back through his own memories and the stories from other vampires he had heard from over the centuries lived. ❝I can only think of a couple times when his mind had been changed... But fair warning, it doesn't happen often.❞ A pause as the Irishman's eyes circled back toward the house. ❝You do have a lot of people willin' to speak on your behalf. You may have a chance.❞

|| @divescustos

I took in a breath and let it out slowly. The coven itself may insist they were an equal trio, but anyone who met them would see who the true ruler was. Marcus was so emotionally checked out so as to practically be a non-entity, and Caius knew it was Aro who wielded the true power. My time in their chambers had been illuminating to say the least. Besides, it was Aro who cared about their image, however ridiculous that sounded given their power. He was the one I was focused on.

"Caius will not be swayed, he hates that we exist at all," I muttered, folding my arms over my chest. "Marcus might have some empathy — he did side with me. But Aro knows what he wants. It isn't justice, it's... " I sighed, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of my nose before the words fell. I had seen the way he looked at Alice, at me. At Bella. He was a collector, and we were a prize. "I keep trying to tell myself that if I word things just right, he'll see reason. But I just can't picture it happening. And with Alice gone..."

     HUNTING WAS a good cover story if things were to go badly . not that she planned on getting into a fight with her brother today , but that would depend on what he had to say . if he couldn't see her perspective after all these years . . . what she'd lost , what she's had to live with -- what she's never been able to forget . in love or in hatred , she had to vote against bella becoming like her . like them .      she realized the instant his lips curled into an amused smile that he was joking . everything was tense , still . she thought he was actually considering it . embarrassed now , that he could hear her fear , she looked down to the ground .      ❛ don't blame me for thinking so ,  ❜ she interjected without context . it wasn't necessary , given his powers . ❛ if it were someone i cared about i would want to destroy you .  ❜      it wasn't true , and he would know that . they walked for a few paces , moving at a casual , yet still inhuman , pace . she expected silence until they'd had something to drink , but edward broke it much earlier .      an eyebrow rose at the initial apology , its serious nature not sitting right . edward should be furious , even if they both had the same answer . his was out of love and protection . hers was out of jealousy and protection . was it out of protection ? she'd like to believe that it was .      ❛ i thought that i made it quite clear the choice was for my own sake . if i am anything , it's honest .  ❜ and she was honest when giving her reasons . bella's decision was out of her hands , but voting for a miserable life that had brought her more suffering than not felt evil of her . it wasn't fair to give bella the wrong , romanticized impression . ❛ and if i'm projecting onto her . . . then i'm sorry . but you've nothing to worry about . she wouldn't listen to me even if i told her everything that's happened to me . you've got her thinking we all have lives worth living .  ❜

My expression softened at her briefly fearful thoughts, and I did something I rarely would — I reached out a took her hand, giving it a squeeze. I was frustrated with her, angry at her rash decision that had brought the Volturi’s eyes to us. But I wouldn’t be fighting her tonight. Hopefully not any night.

“I know,” I said simply for a moment, considering my next words. “And I did for a while. Alice was planning on ways to contain me most of the way home. But… Rose, you’re my sister. Right now, everything is... okay. I’ve been miserable enough these last six months. I don’t think I have the energy to keep it up.”

I had known before Bella even put the idea to my family which way it would go. She might not have been certain — but I knew them. I knew how they had thought about our relationship from the start. It was a foregone conclusion that she would get what she wanted as soon as she asked them. It didn’t mean I couldn’t still make my opinion known.

“Did you know I told her about my time away the first time she visited the house?” I replied, deciding to not address her point specifically just yet. I didn't specify the particular years, all of them would know exactly when I meant by such a phrase. “I told her of my terrible attempt at being a ‘normal’ vampire, and the cost. I have tried at every turn to be honest about how hard just being in her presence is, how difficult all of this is. I have no explanation really for why she still wants this existence, and now it’s out of my hands. I have tried, truly. I don’t want this for her either.”

Despite now knowing what awaited me in a future where she no longer lived, I still wanted her to change her mind. I wanted to see how time would change her, and what she’d study in college, and eventually pick for a career. I wanted her to have a future, not this endless purgatory.

“It is. I’m constantly in awe of you.” Bella’s smile is soft and adoring as she looks at Edward. “I fall more and more in love with you with each new thing I learn about you.”

Bold, perhaps, but Bella knows she means it. Each bit of knowledge Edward gives her about his life before is precious to her like a gem, and she treasures it more than any diamond or pearl she could receive.

Bella grins at the picture, head tilting with interest at the added colors. “It’s so strange that there weren’t colored photographs back then,” she murmurs, fingers brushing against the edge of the picture. “She’s pretty. You’ve got the same eyes.”

Words felt inadequate at such a declaration. Instead, I simply tucked her more firmly into my side, pressing a lingering kiss to the side of her head. We'd shared more intimate showings of affection, but this felt right while we looked at this reflection of my human life together. Something I may have gotten away with back then, perhaps earning a raised eyebrow from my mother if she caught us.

I didn't often try to picture Bella in that setting. It felt so alien now, and she was so very of the present. But I wished, more than anything, that I could have introduced her to my mother.

"She would have loved you," I murmured, running a finger over the photograph, tracing the line of her face. "I wish I remembered more. So I could tell you. But I know that much. She would have adored you."

Words felt inadequate at such a declaration. Instead, I simply tucked her more firmly into my side, pressing a lingering kiss to the side of her head. We'd shared more intimate showings of affection, but this felt right while we looked at this reflection of my human life together. Something I may have gotten away with back then, perhaps earning a raised eyebrow from my mother if she caught us.

I didn't often try to picture Bella in that setting. It felt so alien now, and she was so very of the present. But I wished, more than anything, that I could have introduced her to my mother.

"She would have loved you," I murmured, running a finger over the photograph, tracing the line of her face. "I wish I remembered more. So I could tell you. But I know that much. She would have adored you."

ㅤㅤ𝓗earing the man suggest trying the alternate diet while he was here sent a spike of nervousness up his spine. He didn't enjoy that idea. news of another vampire- let alone the least social of the bunch- switching his diet while a couple dozen vampires could stand gawking at the windows waiting for any sign of his movements. It was the least likely scenario, but it was something that still ran through Alistair's mind. ❝I- I think I'll decline your offer for the time being.❞ Alistair admitted. Perhaps a more private time. But the present days was not in his favour with so many people on the property. ❝However...I shall keep it in mind.❞

|| @divescustos

I couldn't hold back the wince as I followed his thought process, my own mind twisting it off into another strand. What would Aro think if he came here and found not only our family and the wolves, but others of our kind that had switched their diet to our own? There wasn't enough time for their eyes to change, but as long as I knew, he would too.

"I don't blame you," I murmured, offering an apologetic smile. "If there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please let one of us know. Or... if you wish to go," I was loathe to think of losing any of our witnesses, but we couldn't force them to stay, "you are, of course, free to leave. We won't hold it against you."

ㅤㅤ𝓟utting the letters in the mail would probably be a much safer option for some of the folks that were invited to Edward and Bella's wedding. ❝You do have a point.❞ Alice agreed. ❝Thank you.❞ She quietly giggled to herself. Almost giddy with excitement about planning such a remarkable wedding. When Alice felt Edward wrap his arms around her for a quick hug, she smiled and happily put her arms around him- as much as she could with her small stature. ❝You're most welcome. I'm more than happy to help out my favourite people. Besides, you two deserve the best.❞

|| @divescustos

"I often do," I teased, unable to help myself with the opening she'd provided. Rose, Jasper and Emmett had all had siblings before they were turned, and we couldn't be sure of Alice, of course, but I'd never known what it was like to be anything other than an only child before they joined us. And I loved them all dearly, gladly referred to them as my brothers and sisters. But what I had with Alice felt like the most natural of them all.

"Careful," I warned, voice still carrying that playful tone. "Rosalie already says my head is too large as it is. You'll only make it worse talking like that."

"Well it's a good thing we can reattach them, then," Esme laughed, her grin impossibly growing bigger both in her own joy and witnessing that of Edward's.

She finally ceased her fiddling, instead opting to run her hands down the side of Edward's arms so her hands could find his own. It had been chaotic all morning; Alice was flitting between Bella and the occupants of this house determined, as Edward noticed, that everyone looked immaculate. Esme had just about greeted everyone she personally knew, making small talk and milling around other guests, but she hadn't wanted the ceremony to start without at least briefly catching Edward alone.

"You'll have to forgive Alice, I think it's the most fun she's had for decades." The last wedding was Alice's own and, unsurprisingly, she found it far more stressful than the hand she had played in helping this happy couple arrange theirs.

"I know you can read my thoughts," she began, "but I just wanted to thank you personally for allowing me to be your mother." Esme could feel the way her voice wished to break. Not yet, they hadn't even said 'I do'. "I couldn't have settled into this life without you, Edward. I wouldn't have been half as happy." She swallowed, forcing down the familiar ball in her throat. Luckily for Alice, she didn't have to worry about tears disturbing make-up. "You deserve this happiness so very much; watching you be alone for so long has hurt not only me, but Carlisle too."

Esme briefly ran her thumbs against the tops of Edward's knuckles before fiddling with her clutch bag. "Here, a present for the groom." She held out a small box between them containing a pair of cufflinks engraved with the Cullen crest. "I would say for good luck too, but I don't think you need it."

As she grasped my hands, I gave hers a squeeze. Had my heart still beat, I knew it would have been thudding hard and fast in my chest. It took everything in me not to seek out Bella's, the sound that had become a metronome for my life, giving me balance and rhythm. I wanted to ground myself with it, but I knew if I let my ears wander that much, I'd inevitably find the minds around her. Alice had done a valiant job keeping the dress from me, and I wasn't about to ruin it now.

I was fully drawn back by her serious tone. And as she spoke, I felt my throat tighten and a lump form. The tears would not come, could never gather and fall, but I felt their phantom presence all the same. I looked down at our hands as she spoke, the paleness we shared thanks to our natures. But much like I had liked to fancy my features changed over the years to better reflect Carlisle, I very much hoped my heart had even a touch of the love Esme's did.

"Esme," I said, voice cracking a little as I met her eyes. I sucked in my lips for a moment, trying to think of the right words. None that came to mind would say enough, but I could try. "Your son was the luckiest little boy, to have you. That you chose to share some of your love with me has been a true blessing. I know I haven't always been the best at showing it, but I love you dearly, and I always will."

I felt inordinately lucky to have had not one but two mothers that had loved me more than I had ever deserved. I bent down to kiss Esme's cheek, letting my eyes close and a shaky breath escape as I straightened up again.

The lump returned to my throat at the sight of the gift. Wordlessly, I held one hand out, silently requesting she help me with them.

Question Prompts

Her nerves were the same as they were for every other coven member's wedding. This was perhaps the most bitter sweet she had ever felt before witnessing her children marry; her first son in this life was finally marrying the girl he loved. There was relief too. They had all endured so much these past few years, this wedding felt both like an ending and fresh start for everyone.

Esme debated stopping by to see Edward before the service. She didn't want to intrude on such a special day— she would have ample time after the wedding and the honeymoon to catch up with him, after all. Still, he had calmed her nerves on her wedding day, stayed with her the whole morning and gave her away. Esme wanted to be able to do the same for him now.

"You look fantastic, Edward. Positively glowing," she answered, closing the space between them to smooth the collar of his shirt out. "I am so incredibly happy for you." Her hand rested against his shoulder, eyes flickering to find his face accompanied by a soft smile. Soon enough she was fiddling with the knot in his tie, making sure it was done properly and securely. "Nice to see your hair styled for once," she teased, "Bella won't know who's waiting for her at the end of the aisle."

Jasper had made the wise decision to give me a wide berth once we had returned from our hunting trip. My own nerves and excitement were quite enough for me to deal with, without having to put him through it as well. Emmett had punched me on the shoulder, made a lewd joke and then ducked out to find Rosalie. Alice was, of course, preoccupied with Bella, and Carlisle had been by my side for most of the morning, but was now downstairs sorting out last minute details. But I wasn't alone for long.

Seeing my mother in the doorway had a bright, wide grin stretching across my face. I'd seen the expression reflected in my family's thoughts these last few weeks, one I had never caught in a reflection or photograph – it felt alien, but still... I would cherish the fact that my mind would never let me forget how happy I was in this moment.

"Thank you," I said simply. Bending a little, I pressed a kiss to her forehead, letting my mind fill with memories of her wedding to Carlisle, the day I had seen them both at their happiest.

I let her fuss, offering her an amused huff at her teasing. I was glad she hadn't stayed away – while Carlisle had the official role of best man, Esme was just as important in my eyes.

"Alice has threatened to remove my hands if I disturb anything before the photographs, and I'm not entirely sure how serious she is about that."

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒

Bella grins. “Keep your eyes on the road,” she says, though she’s got a delighted expression. “I like being able to give you surprises. It makes them all the more special.” She kisses his hand again. “Turn right here, then into the parking lot to the right. We’re just about there.”

She loves that she can give him this. That she can still surprise him, when the rest of the world cannot. It gives her a feeling of uniqueness that she cannot replicate.

I just about resisted rolling my eyes again, but did as she asked. At one point I flipped on the radio to a quiet classical station, just to give us some background noise, even though my focus remained on her the entire time.

Pulling in, I found my curiosity piqued. I checked for any minds looking our way and grinning when I found none, was at her door in less than a second, offering out my hand.

"Lead the way," I said with a smile.

I just about resisted rolling my eyes again, but did as she asked. At one point I flipped on the radio to a quiet classical station, just to give us some background noise, even though my focus remained on her the entire time.

Pulling in, I found my curiosity piqued. I checked for any minds looking our way and grinning when I found none, was at her door in less than a second, offering out my hand.

"Lead the way," I said with a smile.

❛ you hardly need me to tell you that you've become nothing short of angelic in beauty since your change , edward. it would be a discredit to you if i didn't tell every woman i come across the truth. YOU'RE A CATCH. ❜ carlisle deeply enjoys the new playful nature he's unlocked since having a constant companion -- years of loneliness had not suited him at all. besides , it didn't hurt to give the boy some ego boosts -- god knows edward was too hard on himself.

❛ as for age ... it's more rare , &* rarely seen in covens. most groups reach a size that becomes ... well ; something that can't be ignored. ❜ by the volturi , of course. they feared any group getting too large -- too powerful. ❛ the denali's faced an encounter with the risks of overpopulation once -- came out two shorter than before. but i've met many an immortal older than myself. younger vampires just tend to be ... well , chaotic , if left without a mentor. covens are frowned upon by the volturi , but being a nomad is a difficult life. it's a blessing to want to survive , i suppose. ❜

I had never imagined anything could be worse than the rare occasions Mother had paraded me out and forced me to endure her enthusing about my talents to her friends. She knew it bothered me, and the shade my cheeks could turn had surprised even me. I ached now at the memory, faded and incomplete though it was, yearning for just one more chance to hear her voice. But still, hearing it from Carlisle made me want to find a cave somewhere and spend my endless existence there.

A shudder ran down my spine with the mortification, and I focused instead on the information he had given me. Our nature still did not sit easy on my shoulders, but learning of the history and behaviours that had been kept secret from humanity for millennia was fascinating. I had tried not to overwhelm him with questions, worried it would only end up irritating him, but I pushed as much as I dared.

"Nomads don't tend to form large groups, do they?" I asked, remembering what he had told me. Those groups tended to be bonded pairs with maybe one other in rare circumstances. I supposed we fell into that definition, even if we weren't traditional nomads. I knew he had moved around, but not nearly so frequently as those with a more traditional diet.

"Is there anything you need me to do while you're gone?" I continued, seguing. It seemed a sensible question if he was leaving me alone.

Her reflection looked so familiar yet simultaneously like a stranger. Everytime she caught herself in the mirror, it felt as if a thought she had just grasped slipped from her fingers, unable to be retrieved ever again— as if the realisation was on the tip of her tongue before slipping her mind entirely.

Who was she?

Esme's fingers slightly tightened around Edward's hand. It was easier to concentrate on the cloth that ran across her arm than the boy sat opposite her. At least his touch was real unlike the ghost of any sort of recollection she may have.

"I should be more careful, clothes are inexpensive as long as you don't have to keep buying them," she mumbled, more to herself than Edward. "I don't want to waste Carlisle's money with my carelessness." Guilt rested as naturally in her chest as the scorching flames in her throat.

Her brow pulled together as thoughts raced, only stopping with Edward's voice. She hasn't realised exactly just how tense she had become. "Oh, no, no it's fine!" she assured with a genuine but perhaps practised smile. "I... don't want to be alone either." Something deeper begged for company beyond the anxieties of newborn hunger and unpredictability. Why did loneliness scare her so?

"And I know... I know you don't wish to harm me." Both Carlisle and Edward's actions were enough to confirm that for her. "Everything almost feels unbearable," she finally admitted as eyes concentrated on the saturated cloth. "Does... Does it get easier?"

The first time I had caught sight of myself following my own transformation, I had been utterly horrified. The stranger in the mirror had had some superficial similarities to the reflection I was accustomed to – even if the hair was a little longer than I remembered, it at least remained a familiar shade. But everything else was like my features had been twisted by some unseen hand until even my own face was unrecognisable. And the eyes. The bottle green were replaced by that blood red crimson, and I still hadn't quite adjusted to the gold that had eventually come in.

I wanted to say something along those lines, assure her it wasn't an unusual reaction, but I was trying not to respond to her thoughts rather than her words. It was bad enough I could offer her no privacy, bringing attention to it would only be worse.

"You needn't worry about the cost," I murmured, giving her a small smile before focusing on my task once more. "Carlisle has said often enough he has more than he knows what to do with. And since we have no need to purchase things like food, there is more than spare enough to make sure you're comfortable."

I knew Carlisle was always willing to offer her up some of our old things for hunting clothes should she be too worried. I had to concur, even if only on the practicality of it; hunting in long skirts would be most annoying.

"But knowing in your mind is different than knowing," I replied, hoping my meaning came across. My gift had given me insights into the mind I had never really understood before, and one of those was the difference between telling yourself something and knowing it for certain. "It does get easier. It may take awhile, but I promise it does. I suppose I had it easier. Carlisle's mind was a very calming place to be, when I first awoke."

She visibly relaxed as soon as he rested completely against her. She couldn't help the way she naturally found herself rubbing his back, only holding him tighter when she felt his arm across her own back. "You know I don't think you have to apologise, Edward... but I know how guilty you would remain if I didn't accept it." They had already been through so much turmoil, mentally and physically. Esme couldn't bear to contribute any more to it. "So I accept it."

His admission causes her un-beating heart to clench. His guilt is so familiar to her; it is what saw the end of her human life. If it had simply been her that suffered and not her son... guilt was hard to carry by oneself. Without even thinking, she quietly stated, "then allow me to carry it for a moment." Her offer was born from experience which she had to learn painfully throughout the years. "We can carry it together, learn how to move past it together."

Vaguely, she recalled a similar conversation with her own parents. She greeted them on the porch, rain dripping from the rim of her hat. Her voice trembled as she revealed the truth about Charles and their faces blurred as they denied her truth. The iron ball around her ankle becoming heavier with the burden they refused to share.

She would not make that mistake with Edward. She would not be her parent's daughter.

"You don't get to decide what I think you deserve, Edward." She knew that would be a frustrating truth for him, but Esme was equally (if not more) stubborn sometimes. "And yes, I was upset," she agreed, lips pressing a kiss into his hair, "but grief is love unable to go anywhere. That's what upset me the most."

For all I still felt like I didn't deserve her love, I let myself have it, if only for a moment. For just a moment, all we were was mother and son, and I drank in the comfort she was willing to give. I sighed, and let some of the stiffness leave my shoulders. I had missed her desperately, her easy touches. I had never been on my own before, not for any extended period and despite knowing from Carlisle what it had been like, it was different to experience first hand.

"You're so much better than the way any of them treated you," I whispered, unable to help responding to where her thoughts had gone. Her parents, her husband... How anyone could treat one such as Esme in such a manner had always baffled me, and it likely always would. I had heard the thoughts of countless men I would deem monsters, even Charles himself, and it still brought me up short. "I don't know what I would do without you."

I had once felt guilt for the way my love for Esme had grown, the role I had allowed her to fill in my heart. I had worried I was disrespecting my human mother, that she would think me abandoning her. But I could see now that no love was finite – and if it brought us both comfort, happiness, then why should I not have two women I saw as my mother?

"I shouldn't be surprised," I said eventually, cheek still resting on her shoulder. "But Carlisle was right. I should have just told you all of this from the start. When I was beginning to doubt my place, when I felt my control slipping... I should have just told you. I'm – I'm going to do my best not to keep secrets like this again."

Non-verbal Prompts

The burning had somewhat muted itself, but Esme could still feel the burning at the back of her throat— the desire for more than just animals' blood.

In a way, she was glad that there was nothing but vast vegetation surrounding this place. If she was as clumsy at sinking her teeth into a human's jugular as she was an animal's, then the town would definitely have something to talk about.

It had barely been an hour since awaking in this life, her eyes catching her off guard every time she dared glance in a mirror. She was wearing what looked like torn clothing, something she assumed she'd been wearing when Carlisle had changed her, but she couldn't understand how she'd managed to get blood on her back and matted so stubbornly in her hair.

She may have clumsily taken a deer down, but she was hardly that messy.

From context alone, she had assumed both men had not wished to change her; there was also little point until she had managed her first meal.

Edward was the other one in this house. She had expected someone older when hearing the two men speaking during her transformation, but seeing his face caused puzzlement, both in his youth and the familiarity he had, but unable to place why.

She had already started working the knots out of curls, but of course she broke the comb. It was fine, she could work with fragments as long as they retained their teeth. The knock at her door made her startle, but she called whoever it was in. She expected Carlisle before Edward, but she wasn't unpleased about Edward's company, especially when he explained his attentions; a warm bowl of water and cloth remained tucked under his arm.

Esme agreed to his aid, knowing she would be unable to see where all the blood was. Yet, even as she sat concentrating on hair, Esme couldn't stop the way her muscles would tense with every wipe of the cloth from Edward.

At first, she tried to continue with her hair, but despite her best efforts, Esme found she simply couldn't ignore Edward. Perhaps it would be easier to watch him— something told her 'just in case'.

So she turned, an apologetic smile adorning blood dried lips. "You really don't have to do this... I'm not entirely sure why I'm so messy. It's actually rather embarrassing."

Carlisle had gone into town to acquire some proper clothing for our new guest, leaving me alone with her. My gift and my speed would assist me should anything go awry, but he had seemed fairly sure that it would not. I couldn't say I shared his optimism, but he was the one with experience of newborn vampires, not I. She seemed amiable enough to staying with us, at least for the time being.

The heat in her throat echoed uncomfortably in mine, but I did my best to ignore it. I was used to Carlisle's well controlled thirst by now, but this was like my own newborn flames all over again. I swallowed down the venom that pooled in my mouth as I gathered a cloth and filled the bowl I'd pulled out with warm water. The temperature really didn't matter, but it felt cruel to give her anything but comforts.

The thoughts I had heard during her transformation kept returning to me. Our nature would never allow me to forget them, but the best I could do was keep her secret for her. I still felt unsure about her inclusion in our little life that we had carved out, but I didn't wish to treat her badly. Carlisle had had no ill intentions when he brought her home form the morgue, I knew that from his thoughts as well as his words, but my heart still ached a little at it. And that only annoyed me further – the emotion felt childish beyond belief.

I had kept my movements even slower than a human when I had sat beside her and began my task, her hand only resting lightly in my own when I started there. Even so, I could see the tension in her, which I did my best to bring no attention to. I didn't want to make her feel self-conscious.

"It's alright," I murmured, dipping the cloth back in the water and looking up into her face before running it up her arm. "You should have seen me when I first hunted. Carlisle said it's quite normal to make a mess."

I gave a few more swipes of her newly granite skin before speaking again.

"Neither of us wish you any harm," I said softly, pausing my movements and removing my hands from her vicinity. "I can go if you prefer. I just remembered how I hadn't wanted to be alone – at the start."

𝙳𝙸𝚅𝙴𝚂𝙲𝚄𝚂𝚃𝙾𝚂 : indie and selective edward cullen of the twilight saga. book based. written by holly ( she/her ). first person. promo credit.