i dont blame myself anymore.

I've blamed myself for years. but it was never my fault. it's not my fault i didnt know i was abused and it's not my fault I'm traumatized. it's not my fault i didn't love you romantically. none of this הדרדרות was ever my fault.

good for you you have the luxury of experiencing and expressing your emotions freely. i was never able to have that. both times my heart was broken i had to hide it. i never had the time to grieve. i never had anyone in real life around me i felt safe to cry with or tell that i feel sad.

you could just cry next to people. you could just express your misery outwards or direct it at me.

I'm done feeling guilty about you. i don't feel this anymore. i dont blame myself anymore