Lieutenant Y'Gythgba

I am afraid the memories of one’s biggest mistakes do linger.

As much as it pains me to think on it, it also helps me remember not to repeat the error. I will not endanger Raphael or his family again to make bargains with a madman.

Still, I do not need the event brought up by an outsider with little understanding of the circumstances--please restrain yourself next time, if you can.

I am well! My missions do keep me busy, however. You have sent me many interesting questions, but I am afraid it will take me some time to get to them!

I will endeavor to do my best!

How are you?

Kids? Those are... like infants, yes? On my planet they are called eftans.

Salamandrians are not very sentimental about offspring, so I really do not have many feelings about the matter. I am sure Raphael would make a fine progenitor... if we were at all compatible in that way. Which... is another matter entirely. Reproduction may not even be possible across our species.

I should like to remain with Raphael regardless of what the future holds for us in that respect.

... But what is “badass”? I thought “ass” was a reference to the posterior... What does it mean for it to be bad?

I think that Raphael would look very good from behind while in black. He would look “good ass”.

Time itself works mostly the same everywhere--except for those areas classified as gravity wells--though the Fugitoid’s ship appears to move outside of time on occasion. 

If you mean whether our days or years are measure differently, of course. Our planet is slightly smaller than earth, and spins faster--so what you would call “days” are shorter. However, our version of your “year” is longer, because our planet has a wider orbit around our great star, and takes longer to make a full rotation.

I am only a few Salamandrian years old, but if I had been born on your planet, I would probably be a little older than Raphael.

Thankfully, he does not let that deter him. I understand some young males are intimidated by the idea--but Raphael is rarely intimidated.

Most fascinating.

A form of immunization, you say? I suppose that makes sense.

I would certainly not turn down an opportunity to improve my natural immunity and strengthen my physical health.

I shall have to engage in further “kissing” with Raphael when I see him next.

Happy three-week birthday, Earth creature! I wish you luck in battle--may you find great honor in combat.

Our birthdays do not last so long. Then again, we do not actually celebrate them--I am assuming it is your date of birth, as the word is self-explanatory.

We are born in clusters, but we do have “anniversary” reunions of a sort with the others hatched alongside us. It is sometimes awkward.

Why do you apologize? Your hatred is of no consequence to me.

I do not know you either, so I feel nothing. And if you hate me despite not knowing me, then it is not me that you truly hate, but the idea of me.

I cannot change that, so I am not concerned.

Live well with your prejudices, stranger.

I would like to meet his father--he spoke of Splinter with great admiration and love in our messages, and I know that what he saw happen during the first Triceraton invasion grieved him very much. It is a blessing that they were allowed to undo what befell their father and their planet.

Not all of us are given such a chance.

Splinter sounds like an honorable creature, a great teacher and father. When I do visit earth, it will be in part to put a presence to the stories I have been told of him.

“Sal Commander”... is Michelangelo’s name for G’Throkka, yes? He is not my father--we do not have the same flesh tone or patterning that differentiates our families.

I certainly do look up to him, however, and he has become an important figure in my life. I would not be the Salamandrian warrior that I am today without his guidance.

Specifics? Perhaps when I can procure enough fuel and leave from my military duties to travel so great a distance. I’m afraid the Fugitoid’s ship was more advanced than most of our vessels, so it would take some time to get from here to earth. We are several hundred light-years apart--I would need a ship prepared to jump faster than the speed of light by a hundredfold.

“Easier said than done”, as your saying goes.

I will endeavor to send Raphael more messages. Though he does get a lot of fan mail, and I would hate to over-burden him.

I’ve already answered what I like most about him, but I suppose I can add that I find his nose to be a very pleasing temperature and texture!

Perhaps that is inappropriate to say in public... I’ve consumed a relaxing beverage and I may be a bit... over-relaxed. Excuse-me if I’ve overstepped.

I will visit Raphael as soon as I can, whether or not Shredder still lives.

I had not known there were so many categories of kissing... Thank-you for such a helpful summary!

Exchanging saliva sounds rather dangerous--won’t that spread bacteria? You earthers are brave indeed to take such risks regularly.

Bt if it were something Raphael wanted to try... that is a discussion meant for a more private setting.

Greetings, anonymous stranger. I am well.

I have been engaged in a training exercise with my unit for the last few days. Despite the hostile environment, it was very successful! My superiors are greatly pleased with our performance.

Glad to see my earth friends are still in good health.

Hallucinations? How underhanded! An honorable enemy would not stoop so low as to take advantage of someone under the influence of illusions. I do not look much like a bug, so they must have been powerful indeed, if you’re right...

Wait... am I to understand that kissing is the earth equivalent of nose-to-nose contact?

How dare they fool Raphael in such a way?! Such a thing should be a conscious choice!

People have been sending him messages about it on his blog, but I was not certain whether it was, as you earthers put it, “a big deal”. Is ‘kissing’ very significant on your planet?

If so, it is odd that Raphael would choose to share it with an insectoid. I didn’t think they were his type... hm.

We are very far apart, so maybe he is lonely. Sometimes I am, too, though I deal with it in the way I am accustomed--sixteen hours of target practice and a D’thrygga’s Chasm marathon.

If he needed my help, I would certainly fight at his side.

However, I think he and his family are capable of dealing with the Shredder human themselves. Raphael has told me of their allies on earth. They are not alone.

But if that changed, I trust he would call me--and if he called, I would be there for him, like he has been there for me.