Julius Caesar memes are fun and all, but make sure you don’t forget the true meaning of the holiday: Stabbing the fuck out of politicians for their flagrant, self-serving abuse of power.

@yeahitsak

The idea that Lovecraft's fiction was fundamentally inspired by his racism and antisemitism is both:

1. A reasonable assumption, and

2. Very funny when you think about it.

Because his mythos is all about how the world is has always been this way and we were fools to ever believe it wasn't, and our way of life is ultimately doomed in the long run as we face forces far beyond us that will swat us like flies.

So Lovecraft was basically like "I'm scared of jews and black people... They've always been around and pretending white people are better is a foolish idea and in the long run that kind of attitude will always fail, it has to, it cannot possibly survive."

And I mean, yeah? He's not wrong there.

An excerpt from the trial of Elinor Crane, who was arrested in Middlesex in 1693 on suspicion of burglary. A witness claimed one of the burglars was a woman in men's clothing, and Elinor had previously been seen in the area dressed as a man.

"But the Court asking her why she went in Mans Apparel, the Prisoner replyed, She went to Wooe a Widow. Upon the whole Matter the Jury brought her in not Guilty."

(source: Old Bailey Proceedings: Accounts of Criminal Trials, April 26, 1693.)

#'why were you wearing pants?' 'hot milfs in my area' 'understandable - next case'

wsb is so fucking funny actually

the mental image of this guy selling stock as the plane is depressurising around him is irresistible to me

I don't think this would be illegal. Insider trading requires nonpublic knowledge from inside the company. Airplane door blowing off? Not nonpublic, not insider knowledge. You're just fast.

Correct. You're not an insider to the company although you are (and hopefully remain) an insider to the plane, and you're not receiving any material non-public info as plane crashes are VERY public events. You're in the clear for buying puts while your plane goes down. I'm sure your next of kin will appreciate your priorities.

Do I not understand how this works...?

Wouldn't he want to wait until the plane crashes, for boeing stock to go down, and then buy idk plane parts so that theyre cheaper? Assuming puts = parts typo, maybe that's a wallstreet thing I just don't know)

It's not a typo. A put is an option to sell at a specific price at some later point. Buying puts is basically betting that the stock price will drop below the option price - akin to short selling, but less risky.

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

I've got some terrible news about the seaside.

FOUND family??? you think i just found them like this??? babes this is FORGED family. Me & the bros were scrap metal in a junkyard (very valuable, very sharp, very dangerous, uncared for) and we GOT IN THE FUCKING FIRE TOGETHER. WE did this. we said I AM NOT LEAVING YOU and melted into each other for better or for worse (it’s for better) and we are A FUNCTIONAL UNIT now. DO NOT SEPARATE. BATTERIES FUCKING INCLUDED. FOUND family my ass, we built this non-nuclear family unit from the ground up, don’t devalue this!!! it was is and will be a labour of love!!!

AND AS FOR A SEPARATE, FURTHER AND DISTINCT THING TO DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR, PLAINTIFF REQUESTS THAT THE COURT GRANT RELIEF AS FOLLOWS:

Is this anything?

[I.D. two images, the first an edited image with a heavy yellow tint of a walrus in Walter White’s hat with all caps text reading “I am the one who knocks”. The second image is a parody breaking bad title that now says “walrus fairy”. End I.D.]

Privateer / Sherbrooke, Nova Scotia

Exciting opportunities at Barrett's Privateering LLC! Cruise the seas for American gold; experience firing guns and shedding tears not required!

Elcid Barrett is an equal opportunity employer. Workplace injury compensation not included

I am callde Fae

And I cavort

With man and beaste

Of evry sorte

I play goode triks

Like pulling tales

And steeling coin

And ringin bells

But wen I want

To cos reel fuss

I do not goe

I send walruus

PSA: Tumblr/Wordpress is preparing to start selling our user data to Midjourney and OpenAI.

you have to MANUALLY opt out of it as well.

to opt out, click your blog ➡️ blog settings ➡️ scroll til you see visibility options and it’ll be the last option to toggle.

you also have to opt out for each blog you own separately, so if you’d like to prevent AI scraping your blog i’d really recommend taking the time to opt out. (source)

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a slapping,

As of some one gently flapping, flapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some fairy,” I muttered, “slapping at my chamber door—

            Only this and nothing more.”

Quoth the walrus, "Are you sure?"

system stuff sometimes is like.

yes im an ancient godly power from another realm

and yes im doing our math homework because no one else wants to do it