queer platonic polycule whose primary purpose is to allow us to afford a house

some couples have sex; we do sunday potluck and take turns walking each other's dogs

the annoying thing about unpacking amatonormativity is that it is both an internal and external force. and so i do all of the work of unpacking my internal amatonormativity, like ok the hierarchy of relationship types is bullshit and built on systems of power, you can do whatever with whoever, etc. etc., but i can't actually do whatever with whoever, because i still live in a world that's amatonormative, and so nobody will do whatever with me. and in turn this makes unlearning the fact that internal amatonormativity wants me to incredibly lonely when i am single very very hard because well. um. i am lonely. for a real and concrete reason outside of my control

Asexual/aromantic allyship when an aspec person has a unique relationship with another person that isn't just being friends or dating

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

does anyone want to be best friends that also live together and go on adventures together but like mundane adventures like ikea and target and also wants to lay our heads on each others shoulders when sleepy but also have separate bedrooms but also enjoy spending most of our free time together……. just me? ok

Happy ASAW 2024, here's something about community !

when is comes to asexuality and aromanticism you have to be okay with contradiction. one ace person will say asexuality is about not experiencing attraction, another will say it’s about not caring to act on attraction, another will say it’s not experiencing arousal. one aromantic will consider themself queer, one won’t. two people with seemingly identical experiences will use two different labels. aro people will be in romantic relationships, ace people will have sex. you get it.

— Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

— The Invisible Orientation by Julie Sondra Decker

And these were just quotes I had on hand. Asexuality can take many forms. The most important thing to consider is not whether or not you have the same experience as another asexual, but whether you find value in using the label to describe your experience.

epic aro sculpture i did for class

the heart is made out of plastic bags wrapped with tape, so it's squishy ^_^ and the knife is qtips hot glued together. the knife is also removable!

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "this is a valuable exploration of intimacy and vulnerability that we’re conditioned to recognize only in romantic relationships but that can exist platonically as well" way

Aromantic awareness week!!!!

as someone who's aromantic but very allosexual I just feel like queer people and allies who get up in arms at the idea of people fucking their friends and remaining completely platonic friends just really aren't the type of people who are gonna be actual allies to me. Like idk I don't think sex has to be some special intimate thing and I just think its age old conservative dogma being used to shame people this time just coming from people who claim to be more progressive. its dumb. its just "save sex till marriage or else you're impure" again.

Roger Barnes from Breeze Spells and Bridegrooms is demiromantic demisexual!

everything can be an aromantic allegory if you try hard enough

What No One Talks About

You know what no one ever talks about? How meeting "the one" doesn't make you any less aspec.

Like, you know when aphobes are all like, "You just haven't met the *right person* yet"? It doesn't follow logically.

A few days ago, my queerplatonic partner and I decided that there is a romantic element to our relationship, and that "demiromantic" describes our romantic orientations better. So yes, I "met the right person" and developed romantic feelings. But does that make me any less aro? Absolutely not. I wasn't alloromantic all along and just needed to realize it. You don't NOT develop romantic feelings your whole life and nullify your entire aromantic experience just because you find out you're arospec more than vanilla aro.

So yes, aspecs *might* meet "the one" and develop romantic and/or sexual feelings (not me, though, I'm ace as heck 😂). They might find out they're gray or demi. But that doesn't make them ANY less aspec.

Fight me on this.

being greyromantic is so funny to me because well I am romance repulsed. Until I want a relationship with someone.

Inspired by the brief period of time I thought I was polyamorous because I felt the same way about my boyfriend as I did my best friends and I hadn't clocked yet that all of those feelings were platonic