the story of the balladeer ✩

“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.”

“We did it, Aceburn!“

• Akaashi struggles with severe anxiety. 
• He knows how to hide it because too much attention drawn to him makes it worse. 
• Bokuto has known him since they were very young, so he’s been made well aware of his triggers and the signs that he’s about to go into an attack. 
• When Akaashi goes into an attack, he starts with hiccups and light hyperventilating. By this time, he tries to make his way to a restroom or somewhere away from people so he can do his breathing techniques. 
• He’s only had two attacks during separate practices. He tries to remain as calm as possible so as not to disturb anyone else. If he feels that he’s causing people to take time away from their projects to help him, he gets worse. 
• Bokuto is the only person who can calm him. He watched Akaashi be sent off in an ambulance once before because he couldn’t help with an attack and vowed never to let that happen again so he’s figured out breathing techniques and mental clarity exercises that he does with Akaashi to help him. 
• Bokuto is the only person that Akaashi will LET help him, for that matter. He appreciates the efforts of others, but he needs his boyfriend. 
• Bokuto will sit with Akaashi in his lap and reach around the setter to cup their hands together and whisper for Akaashi to follow his breathing. 
• “Keiji.. Breathe in really deep. Slow, yeah there you go. In for seven. Hold it like that… One.. two.. three… four.. five. Okay, exhale with me now. Just like that, you got it. Keep going. All out. Okay, do it again. Focus with me, Akaashi. I’m right here, everything’s okay.” 
• Bokuto rests his head on Akaashi’s back and rocks the setter in his arms as he recites a peaceful scenario and listens to Akaashi’s irregular heartbeat settle. 
• Akaashi felt embarrassed the first time he ever went into an attack around Bokuto, because neither one knew what to do. Bokuto just cried while Akaashi ended up vomiting and forcing himself to calm down enough to calm Bokuto down. That dumb owl omg 
• Sometimes at night, Akaashi will wake up in the midst of an attack resulting from a bad dream and will force himself to sob into a pillow, not wanting to wake Bokuto up. But Bokuto wakes up nearly every time and moves to Akaashi’s side of the bed to begin their breathing. He may be an obnoxious sleeper, but he’s wide-eyed when he feels Akaashi stir, even if the setter’s just turning over in his sleep. Bokuto takes no more risks anymore after watching that ambulance speed away.