@goingknowherewastaken / goingknowherewastaken.tumblr.com
I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.
It gets better. This Redditor went the full Goncharov.
Glorbcharov: Dishonor Among AI Thieves
Y’all missed the best part:
Category 5 Glup Shitto event
At my old job I had a customer with parents who were Narnia fans.
Oh, you might think, that’s not so bad. What was his name? Edmund? Peter?
But no. No.
They named this poor bastard ASLAN.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria is wild. Someone will be like “hey just so you know the thing you did was a little bit loud/uncomfortable/insensitive but it’s ok I know you didn’t mean it” and my brain will instantly translate “you should be shot”
The fun other side of this too is when you are afraid of making other people feel that way so you just let shit go 90% of the time even when it’s reasonable and valid to make a comment/critique/etc
There’s a quote from Bert where he says he‘s “known big bird since he was a little bird” and the thought of it makes my heart cry so here’s that
by talos this can’t be happening is a mandela effect because the actual phrase is by the gods this can’t be happening and i’ve never heard anyone say the former in game
by talos this can’t be happening
the phrase by talos this can’t be happening is actually from a rupaul roleplay blog who left their husband in a cage with no food and water for a few weeks and the husband died sorry to be the spoil sport but it does have an origin and it is a very tumblr origin in nature
Here’s the post they’re referring to for context
oh god
Oh Talos
I love seeing it when people find this out. I fucking love it.
an 18-wheeler died on the side of the highway the other day. a pack of scavenging motorcycles was eating its carcass. one of them growled at me
Zelda Heritage Post
Oh. I’m not drinking enough water
…SHIT.
How dare you call me out like this
okay but what if ingesting water would cause electrical fires and/or immediate explosive death
Asking for a friend ofc
@anotherhumanperson I think you’re exempt from this
just maybe oil your joints now and then
good idea
Shout out to the city workers outside my house right now!
They're currently working on something outside my neighbors house so as a result they have work trucks and machinery parked along the street. Which wouldn't be too much of an issue; however it is garbage day. As a result they're blocking the trash and recycling cans from the trucks coming through.
But! These guys have been nice enough to wheel each can they're blocking to an accessible area when they see the trucks coming so no one is going to be stuck with garbage for another week!
So thank you workers for doing that!!
so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all
WHY IS THAT ONE FUCKING TULIP A DIFFERENT COLOR I WOULD BE UPSET TOO
it is the chosen one
it must be the main character in the anime
It got funnier when I realized just how many tulips are in this picture.
“In a world where tulips were yellow, one dared to be different…”
Every spring this picture comes back around and every spring I crack up
at first you just see the row of tulips in the foreground, and it’s funny
then you see the rows stretching back for yards and yards, and it’s even funnier
Heyo so I’m throwing a big ol party after quarantine if this hits 1 mill so uh if anyone’s out there pls help embarrass my sister even more 7 years later
Happy 22nd of April, everyone!
10 years of embarrassing OP’s sister!
Let’s make it 11!
Humanity has finally reached the stars and found out why no one had contacted us. The universe is in a sad state. As such, Doctors without Borders, Red Cross, and many othe charities go intergalactic.
The thing the recruiters don’t tell you about space battles is that you die slowly.
Ships don’t blow up cleanly in flashes and sparks. Oh, if you’re in the engine room, you’ll probably die instantly, but away from that? In the computer core, or the communications hub? You just lose power. And have to sit, air going stale and room slowly cooling, while you wait to find out if the battle is won or lost.
If it’s lost, nobody comes for you.
It had been about half a day (that’s a Raithar day, probably a bit shorter than yours) and Kvala and I were pretty sure we had lost. Kvala was injured, Traav and I were dehydrated and exhausted, and Louv was dead, hit by shrapnel when the conduits blew.
Most fleets give you something, of course. For Raithari, it’s essence of windgrass. I looked at the vial.
“It’s too soon,” Traav said.
Kvala gestured negation, shakily. She had been burned when conduits blew, and her feathers were charred, and her leftmost eye was bubbly and blind now. Even if we were rescued, she probably wouldn’t survive. “You know we’re losing the war.”
They couldn’t deny that. “It doesn’t mean we lost the battle.”
“Doesn’t it? The Chreee have better technology. Better resources. And they have their warrior code. They don’t care if they die.”
“We can’t give up!” Traav protested. They were young, a young and reckless thar who had listened to a recruiting officer and still believed scraps of what they had been told. “Any heartbeat now—”
There was a clunk. Something had docked with our fragment of the ship.
“You see?!” Traav crowed triumphantly.
Kvala exchanged glances with me. The Chreee never bothered to hunt down survivors. What was the point, after all?
The Aushkune did.
There weren’t supposed to be Aushkune here. They were supposed to hide in nebulas.
But if there were—
If there were, we were too late. The windgrass couldn’t possibly destroy our nervous systems in time to stop the corpse-reviving implants, and once you were implanted, it was over—or it would never be over, depending on how you looked at it and whether Aushkune drones were aware of anything—
Footsteps.
Bipedal. The Aushkune were supposed to be bipedal.
And then the blast door opened, and a figure stood in it. My first thought was, robot? That’s almost worse than Aushkune . . . But no, it was a being in some sort of suit.
Who wore suits?
“Friendly contact,” the suit’s sound system blared, as the being moved over to Kvala. “Urgent treatment. Evacuation.”
“Who are you?” Kvala struggled upright.
Despite the primitive suit, the blocky being was using up-to-date medical scanners. “Low frequency right angle shape,” it explained—or maybe didn’t explain. Two more figures came into the room and put Kvala firmly onto a stretcher.
“You’re with the Chreee, aren’t you?” Kvala was not at all happy to be on a stretcher.
“Not Chreee,” the sound system said. “You Man. Soil Starship Nichols.” The being hesitated. “Rescue Chreee as well. On ship. Will separate.”
“You what?” I said faintly. Who would do that?
“Oath,” the being explained.
“What kind of oath? To what deity?”
The shoulders of the being moved up and down. “Several different. Also none. For me, none. Just—oath.”
I exchanged glances with Traav, who looked as unsettled as I was. I had never, ever heard of groups cooperating when they couldn’t even swear to or by the same power.
The being scanned me. “Have water,” it said. “Recommend.”
Raithari have fast metabolisms. I could—would—die of thirst quickly, and painfully.
“Where will you take us,” Traav asked, “after you give us water?”
“Raithari to Raithar. Chreee to Chreeeholm.”
“Chreeeholm would kill them for failing,” Traav remarked.
The being hesitated, and then said, “War news sometimes bad. Sometimes lie.”
We had learned long ago not to believe the recruiting officers, but what did that have to do with anything?
“And you—what?” I asked. “Just fly around looking for battles and rescuing victims?”
The being seemed to consider this. “Best invention of soil,” it said finally.
Most of what it was saying didn’t make any sense. Did it worship soil? But it had said that it had sworn to no deity . . .
Madness.
On the other hand—war was a deliberate, rational act by deliberate, rational people, and I wanted no more of it. So why not embrace madness and see what happened?
“Soil Starship—Rrikkol?” I asked, stumbling over the word.
“Yes. Soil Starship Nichols.”
I followed the being in the suit.
Took me well over a minute to realize "low frequency right angle shape" was Red Cross.
I love how this shows the weirdness both of language and of culture. Excellent writing!
"Soil Starship Nichols"
This is what took me a moment.
Earth Starship [Nichelle] Nichols
So clever!
