Boromir thinks he's taking care of Merry and Pippin, but what he doesn't realize is that they're taking care of him, too.

I think whoever named worcestershire sauce that should have the worst tummy hurty ever

i have great news

MR. LEA I AM SO FUCKING SORRY

The problem Sam Reich is going to have is that one day there will be an actual technical fault on Game Changer and nobody will believe him.

they have to shut down production for a day, everyone is sent home, cut to brennan sitting in the dark in his apartment bathroom clutching his knees and rocking back and forth with izzy trying to reassure him through the door that this isn't part of the show

ive gotten so much mileage out of this tweet. every time i see something on the internet that makes me mad i just think to myself "people in real life: hey man how's it going" and i keep it pushing

Everybody acts like each new Game Changer is a new level of betrayal and psychological torture from Sam towards his friends. Did we forget that the very first game changer was "Sam wheels out a strange machine and asks the contestants embarrassing personal questions, the veracity of their responses is judged by the Machine. The machine is actually controlled by the contestant's significant others who have been made accomplices. Forcing their loved ones into revealing shameful truths for internet broadcast." And sure, he's gotten a bit more personalized with these, constructing a variety of torture chambers for Brennan Lee Mulligan specifically, putting Grant O'Brien in various situations and then bringing his mother onto the set. But deception and betrayal were part of Game Changer from the beginning. So, when I hear people say "I can't believe Sam WENT THERE" about something all I can do is think to myself He went nowhere He's been there the whole time

FUCK

Don't talk to me or my son or my son or my son or my son or my son or my son ever again

Flying geese scrap quilt by Susan Lanka (on Facebook via the Scrap Happy Quilters group)

things that would be dope to be

Hey tumblr???? Hey fucking tumblr?????

hello?

sdfghjhgfd

Target audience

I have the dragon pussy candle (got it for my gf as a jokey Xmas gift) and

1. It smells pretty good! Fruit+spices+smoke?

2. The scent fucking SPREADS and LINGERS. I had it lit for like half an hour last winter and I swear to god our entire apartment smelled like dragon pussy for the rest of the night. My gf walked in the door and was immediately like “you lit the dragon pussy candle didn’t you” and I had to be like “yeah, I did”. We almost exclusively use it for either “we just smoked weed and now we’re opening all the windows” moments or “the cats just made a horrible monster smell that must be defeated by a greater monster”.

3. You will light it and immediately go “huh, yeah I guess that is what dragon pussy would smell like”

more screenshots from their website.

these scents are transgender as hell. I want multiple of these candles for my birthday

Hay, what's the website for these things called again?

I can't tell if this is a joke or not, but at the risk of being a gullible rube, here it is

a rare tumblr ad W

*kisses my man’s knuckles like he is the whole world* what’s up bro

op deactivated this is my post now

Falin apologists lezggoooooooooo

Yes she murderd five people, and I pray that I may be number six

Yes she murderd five

people, and I pray that I

may be number six

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

My late eighteenth century shirt is complete! It is completely hand sewn and hand finished, down to the buttons I wrapped.

For general dimensions and construction methods, I followed @vincentbriggs ‘s blog post here (although I believe he’s got a more detailed video on the subject in the works on his youtube channel!). I also referenced to various extant shirts in museum collections for information on collar and cuff proportion trends and usual seam finishing techniques. Particularly for the cuffs, I worked more directly off this shirt in the V&A’s collections, which has a laundry mark dating it to 1791. I did use a different type of Dorset button than the ones on the 1791 shirt. I believe that style is a blandford crosswheel, while mine are cartwheels

The fabric is a historically inaccurate cotton percale salvaged from a lone twin fitted sheet purchased at a thrift store. You can still see the creases left by the elastic gathered sheet seam along the bottom edge of the shirt. Even using the entire length of the sheet, I did end up with much shorter tails than is appropriate for the era. They throw off the proportions of the garment when unworn or untucked, but as you can see here it’s still a perfectly functional amount of shirt, particularly on my not at all tall body.

I do want to sew a proper linen version with some modifications at some point— if only because linen is such a good fabric for my climate— Although I’ve done a decent amount of repair sewing and put a sweater together with kitchener’s stitch, this shirt is the first garment I’ve cut and sewn. I’m genuinely very pleased with it.

Hooray! It looks great, and I'm glad my post was helpful! And yes, I am working on a shirt video, though it will focus mainly on machine construction. Burnley & Trowbridge have a series of videos on hand sewing a shirt, which I still haven't gotten around to watching, but I'll need to do that before I finish my tutorial so I can leave a link to it for anyone who wants to do theirs by hand instead. (They also have videos on rolled hems and rolled whip gathers, which I found super helpful for learning how to do ruffles.)

A Vulcan named Stork works at the Terran adoption agency. Parents always request that he be the one to deliver their child to them.

It’s years before anyone explains it to him.

People keep gifting him robes with long white birds on them.

The fun thing is he would understand why people were getting him outfits with storks on them. That’s a word, it’s his name, straightforward. All the humans get him the same gag gift, but like, they’re putting effort in at least. This is a genuinely nice outfit. Stork will be a walking zero-effort pun sometimes, rather than waste a perfectly fine robe.

It’s fine. This is a readily comprehensible human illogic. Exactly the kind of thing he expected from moving to Earth.

Six years in he finds out about the stork bringing babies.

Stork has a good long meditation session about this myth, his name, his job, the outfits, the whole shebang (or whatever Vulcan concept is the equivalent).

And he decides he’s honored by it, in a humanly illogical way.

The humans are asking him to do what is after all his job, and specifically requesting him for the joy his name brings them on top of an already agreeable and satisfying task. He has no objection to engendering positive emotions in others. Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so happiness must logically slow it down. 

Plus, Vulcans of his generation love puns. There were two decades of punning competitions in colleges across the planet. So when he realizes that he is a walking zero-effort pun, and that the humans also love the pun, he is all for it. He is the Joe Cool of the entire Vulcan population in his city. 

And via this pun, the humans are including him in a cherished and traditional myth, by casting him as the literal bringer of life and the expander of families. 

There’s no downside. Stork wears his robes, pins, keychains, and other bird-related tchotchkes with genuine pride. 

YES IT’S BACK ON MY DASH AT LAST

For real though working together with some human social workers, a Vulcan would be an excellent caretaker for children in an adoption center.

Child has a meltdown? Imagine Stork, perfectly calm and unbothered, approaching the kid and saying “You appear quite upset, Eliza. If you would please allow me to relocate you to the ‘bean-bag-chair,’ we can discuss the source of your distress.”

A Vulcan educated in medicine and child psychology would be endlessly patient with a kid with behavioral issues. Stork wouldn’t get or upset or frustrated. After all, these are children with medical and psychological conditions. It would be illogical to blame the child or to not treat them with the appropriate care.

Even if the a little one was having a bad day or was just overtired, Stork wouldn’t get angry. He might even be a calming presence. Any new kids acting out would learn real quick that they’d have better luck trying to arm-wrestle a Klingon than get a rise out of Stork.

Not only that, Vulcans live much longer than humans. Imagine Stork looking virtually unchanged as decades pass. Kids he’d helped years ago would turn up fully grown, maybe there to adopt their own kids, and run into Stork, looking almost exactly as they remember him.

And he’d probably remember them too. “Welcome back, Eliza.”

“…Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so logically happiness must slow it down…”

Will reblog every time it crosses my dash 🖖🏾

star trek heritage post (November 14th, 2020)

Periodic reminder that the compiled tag I use on AO3 is “Stork The Vulcan (fanon)” and so far there are 5 fics featuring him:

Various iterations of this thread ^ have also been bookmarked under the tag for future reference 🖖