blanket king

it's so cute to me that gift wrapping is an ancient human custom. for thousands of years we have ceremonially made nice little bundles to present to each other, and we have decorated them and ensured that they're neat and careful to communicate the care with which we think of the recipient. and for thousands of years we have been made curious by the concealment of the gift, and been surprised and delighted by the act of uncovering what's inside. we are such simple creatures. we are so thoughtful. we are so cute.

I learned this by googling the historical accuracy of a line in a porn game i'm editing. anyway,

writing porn is also an ancient human custom

I love this post so much I have done everything in my power to make sure I will never forget it via reblogging it every October 5th, in memory of discovering it for the first time

pupkin

ohhh fuck off. someone learned my summoning ritual again. ill be right back

Every day.

Get your ribbon here

but how can I do this five minute task if I'm leaving in thirty minutes

cats are small and you can pick them up

vader: who tore the warning sign off of this wampa cage?? storm trooper: security footage shows it was removed by a golden protocol droid vader: LOL

Vader in RotJ: wait the Alderaan princess is my daughter?? don’t know how to feel about that.

Luke: she strangled Jabba the Hutt to death with a chain.

Vader: OH HELL YEAH

why would you hide this in the tags that’s hilarious

🥦 Grocery clerks 🥦

Stop shaming people for being passionate about the things that they love. Stop mocking people for having unusual interests. Like, honestly, I’m so tired of feeling embarrassed for being "too much". If being too much means having deep interests that fill my life with romanticism and excitement, then let me be!! I’d much rather listen to anyone ranting about their latest obsession with 16th century swords than have a boring ordinary conversation with those who shame passionate people.

pfffft, you call yourself a supervillain but you’re STILL using chrome? dumbass! everyone knows REAL evildoers switch to firefox!!

I already reblogged this post but this tag made me laugh for 10 minutes

calcifer: sophie form an extremely suspicious contract with me

sophie: uh idk man. you’re a demon?

calcifer: but i’m being exploited :c

sophie, her instinct as a low/no-wage worker instantly overriding all sensibilities as a self-aware fantasy character: i guess we have no choice but to unionize

I’m always in it for demon solidarity summer.

she's helping

Vampire hunters should be illegal bc why are you trying to kill all the bad bitches