LAGERTHA

    Björn hated everysingle thing about his UNCLE ROLLO.  He hated what a traitor he was, how hethought he could just do what he wanted and never have a consequence. He hatedthe way he’d made his father feel broken. He wished beyond anything, that hecould do more than put an axe in his head, but strangle him, watching him see,that he was not a man of power, that he was a coward, and that Björn Ironsidewas more of a man than the ever pathetic DUKE ROLLO, ever could be.  He should have drowned him in theMediterranean. Had he said anything wrong about Ragnar, he would have, and hewas not going to let his Mother be pathetic and have them have to be at Rollo’smercy. He refused.

      His mother… hehad not known what was wrong with her, since his father had died. Ragnar hadbeen gone for so many years, but now that he was truly gone, Lagertha was…shedid not seem to be able to be herself and it was hard for him to watch. He wasnot going to let Rollo take advantage of the vulnerability his mother had,either.

        “You think Iam stupid? You think I am incapable of caring for my family that I should turnto accept help from someone who is nothing but a coward, a traitor, and notworth my axe? Why do you doubt me so much? I may not love Torvi anymore, butthat does not mean I will not protect her, my children, her new man, who isalso my brother.”  

         He sighed. “Yes,we would be better with Heahmund. I’d rather go into a land that will want usdead for killing their King, a land that killed our King, that killed my fatherthan so much as allow Rollo to be standing where I spit.”  

& the way she was sounding she knew it was like she wanted to go with Rollo, but the truth was... she couldn’t think straight. She wanted the best for everyone, & if the best was Rollo... no it couldn’t be Rollo. It was just impossible. The old woman rubbed her own face with a long sigh, then turned around a hand on her hip.      “ What if... what if once in England, Heahmund betrayed us ? What if I could not get him to help us anymore ? ”     As much as the man seemed to be in awe of her, she knew she wasn’t the beautiful woman she used to be either. He was their one single asset, which meant they fell low this time. 

Sansa nodded as she looked at her, she took the food from her, “I am afraid of my family being dead,” she whispered softly then ate the food, “I want them to be alive and safe, but it doesn’t seem likely - not anymore,” it’d been sometime since she’d seen her family. The thought had crossed her mind more than once that they had long since departed from this world, she only hoped they were with the Gods where they belonged. “What do you fear?” she queried. 

           Pain was never something Ragnar enjoyed on himself, well if it was an injury.  But, he was a warrior, and he was not one to ever give in, either.  “Yes, I am quite aware.”  If he was honest, he quite enjoyed getting on her nerves. If he got on her nerves, then it meant that he stayed on her mind. She never could forget him, he was certain.  But, he was quite irked that she’d fucked the Christian King.  “And you know that, how?  Did you have sex with Odin after Ecbert and he tell you that I am forced to go to Valhalla?”  Ragnar tended to not think before he spoke, ever.

“No, I do not.  I do not waste time. There are far better things to do than waste time.”  He sighed.  “Lagertha, we don’t just fuck all of our allies.  I am your ally, and you don’t regularly fuck me, now do you”  He smirked at her words.  “You were not much less and you know it. You wanted me and I wanted you. I always want you. I am not a horse…well maybe in some areas.”  He rolled his eyes. “I told you. I did not fuck her.  if you ask me in twenty years, my answer will be the same.” 

Again, that irony, that sarcasm in his tone about his jealous behavior. If she offered herself to him right now, he wouldn’t think they were wasting time. Nor would Lagertha think. But that wasn’t the point at all right now. Especially when he kept teasing her, & even though nothing would happen, it still brought a smile to her, a chuckle even leaving her lips.     “ You are an idiot. & maybe you were as close as a horse, remember our donkey ? ”      Now she was the one wearing that smirk as she reminded him their farm all over again. That donkey was as stupid as any donkey, but he had the particularly to be castrated.     “ Very well, you did not. ”      Lagertha placed the towels back & looked at the injury with a wince,     “ It still does not look good. You should call a healer or ask Ecbert for one. It does not seem to get healed quick or without help, Ragnar. ” 

He gave her a look, she assured no training was necessary. But he was clumsy at times. But basic things he could do. He however was aware that he’d likely get a comment or two about it. He was bound to. He was weird, and different to them all.

“I think throwing a knife takes some training,” he laughed a bit. “Thank you Lagertha, for trust me with this.” One thing he noticed, was that no slaves had weapons. This was a huge show of trust towards him. He was also harmless so it was also a testament to his skill. It was one of the first possessions he had ever had, even more so it was one of the first possessions that he had been given in Kattegat. “I’ll stick with stabbing as a last resort.” He was certain he could cook or hunt with it, if he knew how to do either of those with more success than he had. He learned quite a bit about cooking while Ragnar and Lagertha had been away though. But he didn’t want to insult her or the gift by insinuating he could use it for that.

          Lagertha was far away from thinking he would use it to cook, it was actually a smart move from Athelstan not to mention it. However the reaction would have been priceless.     “ A weapon does not mean you have to attack, but I want you to have something to protect yourself. ”     & also her family. It was very selfish, but the first thing coming to her mind was her children first, & if Athelstan could defend her family with it, she’d give him a chance.  Of course, there was always that nagging feeling that warned her : what if he turned it against her family ? That inner voice she kept it away. She trusted him well enough to think he was actually part of that family now.  She nodded with weak smile,    “ My pleasure Athelstan. My offer to train you with swords is still standing, for the same reason. Did you fight with Ragnar ? ”    She knew he watched Björn & his father spare at the farm, but she wasn’t sure he even held a sword or a shield until now. 

      Ragnar didn’t know why they were so bad at talking about their feelings. He figured it had something to do with the fact, that they were both two of the most stubborn people in Midgard.  But, it was just..it was easier, when they were not sure the other was listening. But, they could die like this. It was rather fitting that they die together, but for the first time in a long time, he hoped that he died in some sort of blaze of glory with her: he wanted Valhalla. If it existed, he wanted to be there with her.  

     “You can question many things, but never question that.” He shrugged. “What can I say? Ecbert always had his own agenda. He made people think things were what they weren’t. He paid with his life, but much like I wanted to, he went out on his own terms, in that bath of his, well under my sons orders.  Ecbert saved me, and he didn’t hold me prisoner. It’s his sons and his guards that did this.”  

       He shrugged when she said she killed Aslaug. Oh well.  “The crown is heavy, Lagertha.  It is too heavy to bear alone nor share with someone else. Why do you think so many Kings wind up dead? It should stay in our family. Aslaug was never our family. I mean, she gave me my sons but you know what I mean.  Bjorn never would let Ivar kill you. You know it and I know it. He’s always been still attached to your apron.”  He laughed then harder than he had in a long time.  

         “They thought the best ally they could find was Rollo? My traitorous brother, who would betray himself, if it meant he could gain something?  I’m sure that went amazing for them.”  

        He sighed. “I know there is a new King here now, but no one lets me speak to him. I believe it’’s his brother who keeps me locked up here..the King wouldn’t keep either of us up here.  He’s Athelstan’s son.”  He sighed.  “I’m tired of fighting. You’re not leaving now. Granted, you can’t move but hey’s that’s something.”   

         The bonds around her wrists hurt, & she almost felt grateful that they didn’t cuffed her with metal. The leather was already tight enough for her to feel the pulsating veins in her hands. She had come a long way, she wasn’t sure about the future, but she thought she could die soon now that she met him for one last time. Although, she expected to reach Valhalla one way or another, but the hope didn’t seem to satisfy her expectations lately. 

‘     YOU  LOOK  LIKE  YOUR  AGE  FINALLY  CAUGHT  UP  WITH  YOU—     ’     ivar  quips,  a  mischievous  glint  in  his  eyes     &     overall  wistfully  unimpressed  as  he  absently  toys  with  the  fur  draped  around  his  shoulders     &     dismisses  her  attempt  to  affirm  the  absence  of  poisonous  intent.  then,  he  reaches  for  the  back  of  the  wooden  chair  to  ease  himself  down,  too.  direct  in  manner,  upon  locking  eyes  with  her,  he  yet  appears  equally  at  ease     &     in  control  as  he  leans  back.     ‘     for  a  time  i  nursed  the  possibility  that  the  gods  may  have  abandoned  me,  after  all—  that  my  ambitions  no  longer  have  their  attention  nor  their  approval.  that  my  promises  do  no  matter.  except  then,  eventually,  i  made  new  friends.  are  they  any  better  or  maybe  for  worse  ?  that,  i  have  yet  to  figure  out.    ’

She meant it, he looked quite different indeed. She was rather intrigued on his explanations, which she listened to carefully.     “ New friends, huh ? ”     The spoon brought to her lips, she took a slow sip.     “ Björn told me you went into the wild & deep East. ”     She watched him with attention, still on her guards nonetheless.     “ You think the Gods abandoned you, really? ”     Now that part felt odd, but they also favored her son somehow. The both couldn’t please them. 

@liftedrelics​ asked : ❛❛ The most famous shieldmaiden, queen of Kattegat ... I only wish to see you smile again. ❜❜ - Floki